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Thread: The 3 Day Rule page 2

  1. #11
    RichMahogany's Avatar
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    In the majority of sexually reproductive species (including homo sapiens), the female does get to do most of the selecting. Eggs are expensive, sperm is cheap. Being attractive means having (or making her think you have) options. It's better for her genes to invest in making sons that can spread their seed far and wide.

    Bottom line: Attraction is not a choice. So, while I'm all for "refusing to play the game," pursuing too aggressively is biologically hardwired in women's brains to be a turnoff. Whether we manage to f*ck up the entire process more often than not is a different topic.

  2. #12
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    ^^^ I actually agree with your overall point. A lot of times "the game" is a way to demonstrate high value to each other, especially on part of the man. A lot of times if you want a really "HVT" in military-speak, "High-value target", you have to know how to play it right.

    With that said, women are also hard-wired to want the "tribal leader", or if that stereotype is too negative, a guy that has a pair on him. A lot of guys my age (late 20's) are complete babies toward women, so in MY case a way of demonstrating both value and audacity is to be direct. There is a really fine line between looking desperate and looking like a guy that knows what he wants....being able to walk it can't really be taught.

    High value + aggression = assertiveness
    Low + aggression = creep

  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheyCallMeLazarus View Post
    ^^^ I actually agree with your overall point. A lot of times "the game" is a way to demonstrate high value to each other, especially on part of the man. A lot of times if you want a really "HVT" in military-speak, "High-value target", you have to know how to play it right.

    With that said, women are also hard-wired to want the "tribal leader", or if that stereotype is too negative, a guy that has a pair on him. A lot of guys my age (late 20's) are complete babies toward women, so in MY case a way of demonstrating both value and audacity is to be direct. There is a really fine line between looking desperate and looking like a guy that knows what he wants....being able to walk it can't really be taught.

    High value + aggression = assertiveness
    Low + aggression = creep
    Yeah, I definitely think we're on the same page for the most part.

  4. #14
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    One nighters are uber primal. Female takes the alpha's seed then goes and marries a beta to raise her kids

  5. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neckhammer View Post
    One nighters are uber primal. Female takes the alpha's seed then goes and marries a beta to raise her kids
    That's certainly along the lines of what Dr. Baker might argue: Amazon.com: Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other Bedroom Battles eBook: Robin Baker: Kindle Store

  6. #16
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    ^ Very well might be where I got the idea from. Got in my head somehow....

  7. #17
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rojo View Post
    Why approach it like that? I've seen guys do that -- think of women as some sort of evil monolith with all the "power".

    Forget "power". I met my former wife at a bar. We exchanged numbers. She called me the next day. I didn't think she was desperate, I thought "wow, she really digs me". Isn't that most people's reactions? I mean who are these haughty all-powerfull people who "bwa-ha-ha" when the phone rings. We're all mostly insecure adolelscents.
    Exchanging numbers is one thing that was different. And I assume this was somewhat closer to the Neolithic era? If someone asked me for my phone number... OMG, I am reachable like 234523417 ways that are totally locatable on the Internet. I would think they were either too stupid to use the Internet or were measuring how desperate I am. Either way, no.

    And women do need to be reminded to keep their power because they give it up, like at eye contact. I remember when I was selecting my boyfriend, women I knew went INSANE that I was actually weighing my options... "You can't DO that!" These women were sure that if you didn't just do exactly what he wanted when he wanted he would pick someone else... Which he will if he doesn't really want you. Win, win I would call that.
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  8. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by loafingcactus View Post
    If someone asked me for my phone number... OMG, I am reachable like 234523417 ways that are totally locatable on the Internet. I would think they were either too stupid to use the Internet or were measuring how desperate I am. Either way, no.
    Yes, because everyone is that easily accessible, especially when you don't know them. Heaven forbid someone asks for a phone number to, I don't know, be able to speak with you when not face-to-face...it seems preposterous that someone would want to use a phone to talk, I know.

    Quote Originally Posted by loafingcactus View Post
    And women do need to be reminded to keep their power because they give it up, like at eye contact. I remember when I was selecting my boyfriend, women I knew went INSANE that I was actually weighing my options... "You can't DO that!" These women were sure that if you didn't just do exactly what he wanted when he wanted he would pick someone else... Which he will if he doesn't really want you. Win, win I would call that.
    Again, why think of it in terms of power? How about instead of two people trying to play games of trying to assert themselves over the other one, how about we act as adults and treat each other equally. You say women give it up to easily. In my experience, men give it up way more often then women do. But, instead of going around telling guys to assert their power over women, I suggest men respect themselves and other adults and don't play power games at all....but, why treat each other equally, right?

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by TheyCallMeLazarus View Post
    I have a very boring protocol for dating. Here's it is:

    1) Make my intentions clear and confirm she isn't spoken for in the first minute of talking to her.
    (Snipped)
    Overall though I think women have this crazy idea that men don't like assertiveness on their part...that is just plain garbage, copout stuff. It is sexy and very effective
    Wow - were I still single, I would totally ask you out on the strength of this post alone.
    I have a mantra that I have spouted for years... "If I eat right, I feel right. If I feel right, I exercise right. If I exercise right, I think right. If I think right, I eat right..." Phil-SC

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by Primal Moose View Post
    Again, why think of it in terms of power? How about instead of two people trying to play games of trying to assert themselves over the other one, how about we act as adults and treat each other equally. You say women give it up to easily. In my experience, men give it up way more often then women do. But, instead of going around telling guys to assert their power over women, I suggest men respect themselves and other adults and don't play power games at all....but, why treat each other equally, right?
    *You* turned keeping ones power into "power over" and "power games” and made respect and equality the antithesis of being powerful. It's not that this is an unusual or wrong thought- Jesus made a good argument that your power complicates your life a lot. But the argument wasn't that you don't have power. Pretending not to have power in some twisted form of respect is pretending the other person doesn't have power, or wishing they didn't, both of which are... Icky.

    ETA: I like this "demonstration of value" language that Rich and Laz pulled in. If you pretend to be powerless because you think the other person is, you lower your value and demonstrate that you don't think they have much value. It is insulting, which is not attractive (and I mean that in all senses of the word).
    Last edited by loafingcactus; 07-19-2013 at 10:50 PM.
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