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Thread: Primal derailed...and back page

  1. #1
    PHaselow's Avatar
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    Primal derailed...and back

    I might have a journal somewhere else, but I'm too lazy to look it up. Anyway, this is a new beginning; a reboot of sorts with Primal living. A few major changes since I first stumbled upon Paleo/Primal back in July 2012:

    *Death of step-mother in October 2012 and hospice care took its' toll on us which led to plenty of late night meals from kind friends and neighbors. Of course, not Paleo friendly.

    *At the same time, I developed pelvic organ prolapse. THAT was a shocker. Never heard of it, really. Chronic constipation, birthing 3 kids and lifting heavy stuff led to it. I will not have surgery (too high of a failure rate) so I must readjust my lifestyle.

    *Started working again after 15 years! Not going back to my profession (law enforcement and victim advocacy), but instead an AWESOME job as a cashier at my local food co-op where I have been an owner since moving here (Milwaukee, WI) 9 years ago. I love it, plus the 15% employee/owner discount helps offset the cost. Only part time, but perfect for me since all 3 kids are still at home. My oldest now drives, so that makes it possible for me to work.

    *Relationship of 27 years (19 married) is falling apart. We are working on it, but it will be slow and perhaps will end in divorce. I am married to an MD which has been tough. I'm at the point where I have had to be so independent over the years that I grew apart from him. I feel badly that I am distant and no longer present in our marriage despite the fact that he is working hard to change his behavior. Therapist tells me it might take a few years and I think she is correct. If my husband has the patience to wait I think we can figure this out. SO stressful!

    So, I found sugar (again), and my 80/20 Paleo eating meant that 20% was entirely composed of chocolate. I was still thin, but I was having trouble sleeping and started having hot flashes (menopause?) up to 24 times a day. Between November-now I've done no lifting or running so my body is soft. I have been able to use the elliptical but I fell back into chronic cardio. Hurt my foot from overuse of Vibram shoes so now I've really been sidelined for 2.5 weeks as it heals.

    I did do a 60 day stint over at Whole30. While it greatly helped me with my sugar habit and made my hot flashes disappear, I was unhappy with the level of restriction and rigid inability to individualize the plan, so I am back!

    Keeping a daily log of my eating and activity for accountability reasons. Also hoping that, if anyone reads what I write, they will pop in for support or suggestions.

    Breakfast: 9:45am

    I find that IF works for me. I typically eat at 6PM and then not again until 10am or later. If I am super hungry I will eat earlier. My morning cup of Crio Bru with full fat coconut milk is technically a break, so I guess I do "eat" at 6-7am; no meal until later.

    *2/3 c raw rolled oats, agave sweetened gluten-free granola, raisins with 1T coconut oil ghee to satiate me.
    *1" energy greens chunk from co-op (a little agave in it but otherwise date based)

    I struggle with eating non-stop for a few hours once I start eating. Since I have a family and we eat meals together, I cannot eat all of my calories between 10-2 and then not eat again. Family meals are really important since we don't spend a lot of time together with busy teen and husband schedules.

    Off to work!

    Snack: 2pm

    Gingerade kombucha (no added sugar)
    banana

    Dinner: 5:15pm

    *Huge sweet potato with 4c wilted spinach. Topped it with cinnamon, sea salt and 1T ghee
    *1" energy greens chunk from co-op

    I do better with some vegetarian days thrown into my routine. Tomorrow I have off so I'll eat a big old hunk of animal protein in the afternoon so I have time digest it before bed. I'm breaking out the bacon again tomorrow! I tend to use it as a protein source and not a condiment because I love it so. I need to be careful about that one.

    I know I'm not eating enough. I just don't feel hungry with being so inactive. This week I am going back to some type of cardio and I hope my toes tolerate it. I won't be wearing the Vibrams quite yet. I need a harder sole to finish the healing. I had to borrow my daughter's running shoes since Dansko clogs aren't going to be great for cardio. hah

    Snack: 8:30pm

    Popped a chunk of Cookie dough into my mouth without thinking. Swallowed it, too! Ah, well. If I were Whole30ing it I'd be putting my tail between my legs and starting over. Instead, I'm fine with lumping my day into a 98/02 category and moving onward.
    Last edited by PHaselow; 07-08-2013 at 08:06 PM.

    Age 48
    Start date: 7-5-12
    5'3"
    121lbs
    GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


    "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
    Henri Frederic Amiel

  2. #2
    PHaselow's Avatar
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    Another day, another day

    Woke up around 5:30 am to get the dog ready for spay day. She is supposed to be adopted on Thursday (I foster), and her hips are looking funky so we need an OK from vet before family is willing to move forward. On pins and needles.

    Crio bru; lots of it.

    Was supposed to meet a girlfriend at a nice restaurant but she stood me up. It was 10am before I left, and 10:30 before I got to The Vitamin Shoppe to pick up some turmeric. I fell for a crappy protein bar. Should not have done it. It tasted bad, and started a cascade of eating to forget the taste.

    Breakfast 10:30am-11:30am

    Icky protein bar
    handful chai yogurt covered almonds
    several slices salami and cheese
    1c meusli with raw oats, Steve's Paleo crunch, sesame seeds, raisins, cinnamon, sea salt
    2T coconut oil ghee

    ugh. I am full now. I guess that will hold me for the rest of the day until dinner!

    Took 1.2g fish oil, 1 turmeric cap, coQ10, Bcomplex. Feeling like I need some supplement help for a bit. Inflammation

    Woah. I ate an entire container of Steve's Paleo Crunch cereal today. Why is it that I cannot go low carb past the 14 day mark without a binge day? I am so very full. Big carb day.

    I guess I load up on protein these days? I'm just not sure how to interpret what I am craving. Do I eat high carb and just be OK with it or do I play around and try to stay low carb?

    Just ate a few chunks of bacon at 7pm; maybe 3oz. I kind of wish I had not done that (feeling nauseous), but I wish I had eaten it 3 hours ago! Might have stopped the carb binge.

    Onward to tomorrow. I learned there can be too much bacon in my belly. blech
    Last edited by PHaselow; 07-09-2013 at 06:20 PM.

    Age 48
    Start date: 7-5-12
    5'3"
    121lbs
    GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


    "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
    Henri Frederic Amiel

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    PHaselow's Avatar
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    Friday!

    Waking up with my Crio Bru and full fat coconut milk. I dropped and broke my Bon Jour frother a few days ago which meant no emulsifying for a few days. I actually upgraded my Amazon.com credit card so I could get a new frother in 2 days. Sucker. Hopefully I can really cancel it after 30 days without being inundated with crap. Still, it seems worth it today.

    I am upping my fat intake for this month to see if I can get past my habitual 'bad day' that I experience every 14-16 days. It has happened for the past year: do well for 2 weeks and then wake up wanting to eat all pre-Primal garbage. It is like clock work. I used to think it was coincidental that I was extra tired each of those mornings, but now I wonder. It isn't really a carb craving, although that seems to be what I go for. Probably mostly because crappy food is carb laden more than really craving the carbs. If it happens again in 10 days, I will opt for a 16 oz rib eye and see what happens! Or a few ounces of bacon.

    I'm thinking about weighing myself. I haven't done so in 6 months. I am probably around the same weight, but less muscle since I haven't been working out at all for the past 4 weeks because of a foot injury (and had to quit my cross fit permanently due to pelvic organ injury 6 months prior to that; tough winter for this girl!). Now I go on vacation for a week with the family. I really want to get back to the gym or on my bike. My plan is to do that when we get home.

    Bacon and 1 small kohlrabi for breakfast.
    Last edited by PHaselow; 07-12-2013 at 09:27 AM.

    Age 48
    Start date: 7-5-12
    5'3"
    121lbs
    GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


    "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
    Henri Frederic Amiel

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    PHaselow's Avatar
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    Up early for the Farmer's Market

    My husband wants to buy some goat. I think I'll need to talk to the lady to see what she feeds them. Doesn't sound very clean...

    No goat.

    Crio bru with coconut milk.
    2 slices thick cut bacon
    2" chunk 'energy' bar (date based) with greens from co-op

    More snacking. In response to tough discussion with my husband. I'm so predictable! I wish I could get rid of the emotional eating. Working on a rocky marriage is so stressful. He loses his appetite. I eat for both of us. We will need to get divorced once he reaches anorexia state and I'm obese.

    1/2c flax based granola
    1/4 c honey toasted almonds
    1 bite lemon poppy seed muffin

    Stopped myself at the muffin. Gluten muffin. I know I would have just kept going and going had I reached the point where I rationalized the muffin going down the gullet.

    Crazy day at work. Only able to eat a pear, banana and 1 bottle of Gingerade Kombucha (no added sugar). I was hoping it would be extra alcoholic, but alas... no.

    I just got home at 10pm and I really don't want to eat. I'm not going to.

    Tomorrow will be a short ribs day! Get some fat and protein into this body.

    A little ticked off that my foot continues to ache when I wear Vibrams for a period of time. I probably should not have worn them for 7 hours straight the first day back in them. Foolish. Now the pain has moved from the 2/3 toes to the 3/4 toes. Progress? Hah
    Last edited by PHaselow; 07-13-2013 at 09:19 PM.

    Age 48
    Start date: 7-5-12
    5'3"
    121lbs
    GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


    "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
    Henri Frederic Amiel

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    excursivey's Avatar
    excursivey is offline Senior Member
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    I just stumbled by.

    If it's of any help at all you might like to read that 5 Love Languages book. Just google, I know you can get it on Amazon and since you just upped the Amazon account, well...

    Good luck with everything...
    Breathe. Move forward.

    I just eat what I want...

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    evotell's Avatar
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    Thanks for being so honest. I am a Life Coach and have spend hundreds of hours with couples who have broken marriages. YES it can work, but you both need to ask this question: "DO YOU WANT IT TO WORK"? If so it can if you are both committed to put in the work.

    Can I suggest that you get 2 copies of: "The Seven Principles For Making A Marriage Work" by John M Gottman. Read them and discuss what you are learning and what changes you are personally going to make.

    Terry

    Amazon.com: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert (9780609805794): John M. Gottman, Nan Silver: Books
    "The problem with socialism is you eventually run out of other peoples money"

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    PHaselow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by excursivey View Post
    I just stumbled by.

    If it's of any help at all you might like to read that 5 Love Languages book. Just google, I know you can get it on Amazon and since you just upped the Amazon account, well...

    Good luck with everything...
    We have the book around here somewhere... I know his love languages. I've never quite figured out mine.

    Age 48
    Start date: 7-5-12
    5'3"
    121lbs
    GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


    "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
    Henri Frederic Amiel

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    PHaselow's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by evotell View Post
    Thanks for being so honest. I am a Life Coach and have spend hundreds of hours with couples who have broken marriages. YES it can work, but you both need to ask this question: "DO YOU WANT IT TO WORK"? If so it can if you are both committed to put in the work.

    Can I suggest that you get 2 copies of: "The Seven Principles For Making A Marriage Work" by John M Gottman. Read them and discuss what you are learning and what changes you are personally going to make.

    Terry

    Amazon.com: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work: A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert (9780609805794): John M. Gottman, Nan Silver: Books
    Thanks for the interest in my marriage! 27 years together; 19 of them married. We should have done this hard work two decades ago, but instead put band aid after band aid on the problem resulting in a vicious cycle of crisis. This, I decided, is our last chance.

    I am just at the point where I can say I DO want it to work. Recent development. Before that, I was just scared of not being married and not being with him because it has been the two of us since age 20. He is trying. I am trying. We are just not always able to recognize the other's efforts because we are clouded by expectations. Rough road in the first year of hard work.

    Age 48
    Start date: 7-5-12
    5'3"
    121lbs
    GOAL: to live to be a healthy and active 100


    "In health there is freedom. Health is the first of all liberties."
    Henri Frederic Amiel

  9. #9
    evotell's Avatar
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    Any therapist who told you it will take years to get your marriage restored is incorrect. Start by siting down with each other and telling 2 stories that attracted you to each other.

    Good luck, GET THE BOOK.
    "The problem with socialism is you eventually run out of other peoples money"

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    JoanieL's Avatar
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    You've gone through so much in such a short time. Coming back to Primal and getting a new job that you like are awesome ways to find new focus. I got nothin' on relationships because I suck at them.

    Welcome back and good luck!
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

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