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Thread: I'm furious. How to stop being mad controlling and let go! page 4

  1. #31
    Yoga11's Avatar
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    Janie, I agree completely... but look at your great weight loss success! you've done it. So great! It's just bitter sweet because you did lose weight, I mean maybe I'll get there by letting go... maybe I will gain 10 more pounds, but I can tell I need to not have expectations of whats to happen when I let go. I guess when i've let myself rest long enough and I just wake up and decide to do a diet, it can come from a happier place. I worry about looking back at my life (I already do) and I think... gosh couldn't I have just done a great diet and rid the weight!! but I DID, I have, it makes me think of what a failure with controlling myself. It's not like I go back to horrible eat either. I don't binge.. it just doesn't come off no matter how "healthy" I eat. Easily a really skinny person could eat what I eat and stay thin.. this is just me! I want to love me. I need to stop what I'm doing and start loving myself more.

    I'm just sad and I feel emotional loss in giving up the thought that I CAN do it. I mean I can, but it will drive me crazy.
    I already regret all the time I wasted agonizing because I've always ended up back at my current weight!! ALL THat dietiing for nothing but years of pain!!!

    I'm now after reading all of this support seeing my other successes.. That I am healthy, I am 95% primal/paleo, I fixed my stomach issues eating this way of life, and I have a great fiancée who loves me, I went back to school and graduated, I got scholarships to help me fund school, I have a bunny rabbit who is amazing to me as I am to him, I have my health! those are great successes!

    I guess I just need to "let go". I want to relish what I have... thinking of that makes me already get emotional. I've just let myself get SO beat up mentally. I know i'm ready to let go... I'm throwing away my scale, I'm going to trust that my WOE is right, I'm giong to be smart, I'll feel into how I'm feeling about what I'm eating. I need to except me NOW. Love me NOW

  2. #32
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    I just want to second getting your thyroid checked. Before I found out I was hypothyroid (low in T3 even though I was taking T4, and a high reverse T3) I was in the EXACT same position as you. I literally tried everything. No dairy, nuts, stirct primal,strict paleo, eating windows, intermittent fasting, lots of exercise, less exercise, heavy lifting, vitamin D, fish oil - you name it, I tried it. And NOTHING worked. I even trialled atkins and shakes at one point I was so desperate. About the only thing I couldn't cut out was stress - hard to do when you keep gaining weight in spite of eating a clean and healthy diet and NEVER partaking in the cakes and sugar and wheat that everyone around you is eating (and they're not gaining).

    Once I got onto T3, my life CHANGED. All of a sudden I lost weight like a NORMAL person. I didn't have to go to the extremes of 100% primal, cutting out dairy or nuts or nightshades or what have you. I ate a normal amount, less than my TDEE, and the weight starting coming off. I started intermittent fasting again (twice a week) and the weight came off even faster! My diet is nowhere near strict primal now - I indulge when I'm out and eat cake, occasionally eat bread. Possibly I shouldn't be even on a primal message board any more. But I am always aiming to make my diet more primal.

    I am now pretty much at my goal weight - 172.5 cm (about 5" 7?), and 60kg (132 pound). Ideally I'd like to lose a few more kilos, get down to 125 pound, but frankly I a just over the moon to be where I am. I am not longer doing the two days of fasting, I just started an 8 hour eating window approach which is more managable and feels less stressful.

    So fingers crossed you have a t3 problem! It can be fixed with supplementation and life can change! I look back at how hard I used to try to lose weight and only gain, and I feel that now it is too easy, like I am cheating somehow and it's too good to be true. But I am just 'normal' again. I get why, when I used to post my problems, other people would say things like you need to just stress less, move more, eat a bit less, tweak what you're eating, that you must be eating too much, even when you now you are only eating 1000 calories a day - because to them weight loss really is effortless! They cannot understand how HARD it is for you, how you can do EVERYTHING right and still gain weight. But I understand! And it REALLY sucks!!

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by fitmom View Post
    Primal makes women fertile, nourished, healthy and energized. Problem is, we're women, so that's just never fuc6king enough.
    So true!

    Quote Originally Posted by Yoga11 View Post
    You should be up on MDA for success stories!! I relate SO much.. my sister was always the "skinny" one and "pretty one".. redefining success IS what I need. WOW you made me cry joy.. thank you for sharing... !!!!!!
    I have not wanted to participate in the shit we women do to each other, but I saw my sister on Father's Day and for the first time in my life, I am the skinny sister. By a mile.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yoga11 View Post
    So what did work for you? did you just stop measure and just start living and the weight came off itself? do tell...
    Well, firstly this is my "before" picture. I'm pretty much just like those annoying Friday success stories except just larger to start and larger to end.


    I didn't have to start with PCOS or diabetes and 100lbs to lose. So I had that going for me. I was already active but I was getting fatter at an alarming rate and it wasn't stopping, plus I was always always hungry.

    I did low carb primal/high fat and that stopped the hunger. I kept up walking and hiking. I did a 24 hour fast once a week for a few months, then I got too cold all the time so I stopped. Over time I've moved progressively toward the Primal fitness portion of the program. I lift weights and really enjoy that a lot. I don't walk and hike quite as much and I no longer do things like bike commuting or running. The sprinting part still flummoxes me. It wrecks me pretty bad, but I'm doing my best. I try really hard to eat only lean meat, vegetables and/or sweet potatoes at every meal and try really hard not to snack on nuts, cheese, chocolate or wine, but I do fail now and then. Now and then I have fatty meat or use more butter/coconut oil so that I get enough healthy fats in. I do not count calories and never will because in my teens I got obsessive about that and never want to go there again.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    I can squat 180lbs, press 72.5lbs and deadlift 185lbs

  4. #34
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    Yes, get your thyroid checked out...great advice.

    It might be worth writing here what you eat too. Lots of times we think we are doing everything right and yet there still advice that might help make the difference.

    Hang in there..

  5. #35
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    Instead, I worry about my ass, which is just never going to go away.
    Why in the hell would you not want to have an ass? I want my ass NEVER to go away. Ever.

    The funny thing is that the second you stop worrying so much is the second you will notice that you are looking better. I gave up on moping about my "bingo arms" and started celebrating my performance with the weights.... and lo and behold, my bingo arms are beginning to make some changes.

    I think if you live a healthy, active lifestyle, at some point your body will reflect it. Maybe not quickly, but it will get there.

    http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
    Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by lucy1984 View Post
    So fingers crossed you have a t3 problem! It can be fixed with supplementation and life can change! I look back at how hard I used to try to lose weight and only gain, and I feel that now it is too easy, like I am cheating somehow and it's too good to be true. But I am just 'normal' again. I get why, when I used to post my problems, other people would say things like you need to just stress less, move more, eat a bit less, tweak what you're eating, that you must be eating too much, even when you now you are only eating 1000 calories a day - because to them weight loss really is effortless! They cannot understand how HARD it is for you, how you can do EVERYTHING right and still gain weight. But I understand! And it REALLY sucks!!
    I just found out this morning I have mild hashimoto's, and now have some things to take for it. Here's hoping your story can become mine and the OPs experience as well!

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by tinacristina View Post
    Yes, get your thyroid checked out...great advice.

    It might be worth writing here what you eat too. Lots of times we think we are doing everything right and yet there still advice that might help make the difference.

    Hang in there..
    I'm definitely going to get that checked. I know it would be a good idea to write out what I eat.. but I'm not one of those mindless eaters. I really stick to things... I track really well... I promise and cross my heart I have done it all, subtracted it all, and tried it all. saying that... I want to just find peace in letting go the idea of my weight changing. Since my body is obviously not wanting to release at this time.

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Why in the hell would you not want to have an ass? I want my ass NEVER to go away. Ever.

    The funny thing is that the second you stop worrying so much is the second you will notice that you are looking better. I gave up on moping about my "bingo arms" and started celebrating my performance with the weights.... and lo and behold, my bingo arms are beginning to make some changes.

    I think if you live a healthy, active lifestyle, at some point your body will reflect it. Maybe not quickly, but it will get there.
    Yes!! the second I let go the second people will notice and that actually happened to me today! I can feel shift happening.. and I didn't go crazy and eat everything in site. I actually ate super healthy today and had a very productive day.. ended with a big steak medallion and veggies. I was told I looked great by someone I didn't know. Heeeeyyy yeahhh... <3

    I'm learning to trust letting go... It's going to be a daily practice.

    Loving me NOW. Loving where my body is NOW. Trusting my body where it is NOW. Letting be where it needs to be. If I'm healthy and I know it, my body will be at the right weight 165 or whatever. I'm learning to own this, feel it. It's hard letting go of "wanting to lose weight". It's like I always felt I was suppose to feel that way... I don't really know whats it's like to not constantly be in that mind space. I've always been over weight.

  8. #38
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    Hi Yoga11.

    Definitely +1 on yogabare's suggestion,

    Something along the lines of the fast metabolism diet is probably where you will find your success. In my 6 months on the PB (your gunna think I suck for saying this) I did something pretty similar to the fast metabolism diet (not as regimented, my own version) and I have lost 75 pounds.

    here's the deal.

    The primal blueprint does one thing brilliantly. It cuts down the work your body has to do repairing it self significantly. If you came in a from a SAD diet, everyday your body was working overtime repairing all the damage to your cells/systems from all the crappy things we ate, think PUFA, HFCS, wheat and legume antinutrients etc etc. also it helps reduce the body breakdown coming in from to much excersise and other things like not enough vit D from sunlight etc etc. big trouble hey, it is easy to see why people have alot of success on this WOE. BBBBBUUUUUUTTTTTTT.....

    There is one thing the primal blueprint doesn't do and that is......

    Stopping all the primal blueprinter's from chronically stressing (over or under working) their metabolisms still.

    What do I mean? Well, when some of us go primal we still follow all the CW eating protocols like; Calorie restricting, macro restricting, EATING THE SAME STUFF AT THE SAME AMOUNT EVERY DAY and other various bad stuff. These are really bad, they can cause as much damage as the cell destroying things I mentioned above. Why is this so?

    You are doing the metabolic equivalent of chronic cardio, our metabolism is doing the same thing over and over everyday, it gets no rest, from making its own glucose (low carb) or from converting fat into energy (low cal) and other things we force it to do. these processes are taxing over time, our bodies need to rest from doing these things.

    To lose weight you need to run a weekly or monthly, calorie deficit, NOT A DAILY ONE. In doing this, some times our bodies are doing the fat burning thing, some times it is doing the rest thing, some times it is doing the fat storing thing. You just gotta have it burning fat more than it is storing fat. If you try to force it to burn fat daily you will burn your metabolism out. The same goes for Macro's, ya can't force your body to make its own glucose everyday, give it a rest every few days and eat some fruit or spuds (carbs) the same goes for the other macros.

    It is a bit of a head fuck as calorie or macro restricting is so ingrained (even in primal circles) in our psyche. I have made a few other monster posts explaining this idea in a little more detail.

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread88105.html

    or read my success story in my sig.
    A little primal gem - My Success Story
    Weight lost in 4 months - 29kg (64 lbs)

  9. #39
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    Maybe you can find out what reason there is for your body to hold on to this weight. Losing weight is not just a physical thing. Body and mind work together. If there is any reason that it is more 'safe' to have this weight than to lose weight, you can do all you can and it will not happen.

    It can be as little as hearing that voice telling you that it's better to have some extra weight in case you get sick. Or maybe you are the kind of person that is too nice to protect the own borders, and so the body has to make clear: I AM here, I DO need space. In that case your body helps you to create the space you need, by being overweight. When you start to create your own, real space, there's no need for the body to keep the weight.

    It's just little examples, but maybe it's worth looking for the things that are going on in your life. Or have been going on in your youth.

    Example: my mom realized she was afraid to lose weight for two reasons: she would be a 'traitor' in her overweight family, and also she would become more 'attractive' and she doesn't want that. But after she thought about this, and realized that she's the one in control, and she just can say 'no' when a man would show he likes her, she started to lose weight! (So in fact her body was sayin 'no' for her, and now she accepts that she has to say it herself, and the body let go of the weight.)

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by dilberryhoundog View Post
    Hi Yoga11.

    Definitely +1 on yogabare's suggestion,

    Something along the lines of the fast metabolism diet is probably where you will find your success. In my 6 months on the PB (your gunna think I suck for saying this) I did something pretty similar to the fast metabolism diet (not as regimented, my own version) and I have lost 75 pounds.

    here's the deal.

    The primal blueprint does one thing brilliantly. It cuts down the work your body has to do repairing it self significantly. If you came in a from a SAD diet, everyday your body was working overtime repairing all the damage to your cells/systems from all the crappy things we ate, think PUFA, HFCS, wheat and legume antinutrients etc etc. also it helps reduce the body breakdown coming in from to much excersise and other things like not enough vit D from sunlight etc etc. big trouble hey, it is easy to see why people have alot of success on this WOE. BBBBBUUUUUUTTTTTTT.....
    when some of us go primal we still follow all the CW eating protocols like; Calorie restricting, macro restricting, EATING THE SAME STUFF AT THE SAME AMOUNT EVERY DAY and other various bad stuff. These are really bad, they can cause as much damage as the cell destroying things I mentioned above. Why is this so?

    You are doing the metabolic equivalent of chronic cardio, our metabolism is doing the same thing over and over everyday, it gets no rest, from making its own glucose (low carb) or from converting fat into energy (low cal) and other things we force it to do. these processes are taxing over time, our bodies need to rest from doing these things.

    To lose weight you need to run a weekly or monthly, calorie deficit, NOT A DAILY ONE. In doing this, some times our bodies are doing the fat burning thing, some times it is doing the rest thing, some times it is doing the fat storing thing. You just gotta have it burning fat more than it is storing fat. If you try to force it to burn fat daily you will burn your metabolism out. The same goes for Macro's, ya can't force your body to make its own glucose everyday, give it a rest every few days and eat some fruit or spuds (carbs) the same goes for the other macros.

    It is a bit of a head fuck as calorie or macro restricting is so ingrained (even in primal circles) in our psyche. I have made a few other monster posts explaining this idea in a little more detail.

    http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread88105.html

    or read my success story in my sig.
    I'm kind of confused.. can u explain this in a different way..?

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