So, like this one time, I like dropped some acid. And I found this like stick that wasn't just a stick because it had the shape and soul of a giraffe. And I named it and I communed with it, and it was like so fucking cool. And we talked for hours and like afterward, I came away with the knowledge that even the lowliest stick was so fucking up there on the cosmic plane and for like months, I heard the screams of plants everywhere (but especially salad bars) being killed needlessly. This sent me on a like descending spiral where I had to do quaaludes just to get through the day. But, man, eventually, I just reconciled to the fact that the rest of the world wasn't like enlightened as I was, and now I don't eat plants because they like scream when you cut them, man.