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Thread: Want to go Primal? Drop the wife or husband (Rule #11) page 16

  1. #151
    Paleobird's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cori93437 View Post
    I would be totally and completely miserable if I had to give this up to go back to hooking up with people.
    I have no idea who would make that choice given our relationship.
    Though I do understand why someone would choose getting out and hooking up over a crappy angry tension filled relationship.
    Been there, done that! LOL
    Unlike the OP, I am not advocating that there is only one natural way for everyone. I think relationships such as yours and Zoe's are wonderful. It's just that I have seen soooooo many of the other crappy, angry, tension filled kind that I just wish people could feel free to explore other options and not feel constrained by a pattern, must meet perfect soulmate, get married, have kids & mortgage, grow old together. That doesn't work for everyone.

    So, I'm not saying your happiness isn't real. I know it is. I also know an awful lot of people who are faking it, making each other miserable til death do us part, just because they made a promise based on a social pattern that is very modern in origin.

  2. #152
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    cori93437 is offline Senior Member
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    Oh, don't mistake.
    That is purely n=1 for THIS relationship.

    I've been in short relationships that I've ditched.
    I've been in alternative relationships that were plural.
    I've lived the hooking up with a different girl, or two, "every night is a crazy party" life.


    I don't believe in the 'there is only one way to do it' moralistic version that is sold AT ALL.
    I just happen to be extremely happily monogamous right now.
    And in all likelihood for all of the foreseeable future as well... baring something happening to my current partner that forces a change.
    Last edited by cori93437; 06-24-2013 at 02:22 PM.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  3. #153
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    It's not just a moralistic outlook, it's also rather a fairy tale for many people. But we are told, particularly the girls, that you are not complete until you find that perfect person you are destined to be with. Your soulmate, <sigh> Hogwash.

    If two equally self sufficient people find each other's company to be an enhancement to their lives, then they can hook up for a night, a year or a lifetime. That's great.

    It is when a person feels like they are missing something in themselves without a partner. That is the societal construct that I think we would be better off without.

  4. #154
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paleobird View Post
    It's not just a moralistic outlook, it's also rather a fairy tale for many people. But we are told, particularly the girls, that you are not complete until you find that perfect person you are destined to be with. Your soulmate, <sigh> Hogwash.

    If two equally self sufficient people find each other's company to be an enhancement to their lives, then they can hook up for a night, a year or a lifetime. That's great.

    It is when a person feels like they are missing something in themselves without a partner. That is the societal construct that I think we would be better off without.
    Agreed.
    When a person feels that... nothing else in the world will fix it. Not a partner, not a baby, not food, nor drink, nor religion.
    It's a horrible message to set up.
    Are you married yet?
    Are you a mother/father yet?
    No?!
    Then you CANNOT possibly be happy and fulfilled in your life!


    Look inside and love yourself, then good things will happen for whatever length of time that is.
    Enjoy~
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  5. #155
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    Quote Originally Posted by Paleobird View Post
    Anyone we can or have studied does not really count as paleolithic. I really don't see where you get the idea that not understanding the link between sex and babies leads to pedophilia.
    Because it does. Trobrianders are the only extant human group that don't/didn't understand the sex-baby connection. As they don't/didn't understand it, they assume/d sexual organs are just for fun, that sex is a sort of game. So parents have sex with children, children among each other, adults among each other, brothers and sisters, cousins, brothers and brothers, aunts and nephews... Anything goes. They begin erotic play among each other and with adults around the age of eight.

    PS: Modern sex-ed has begun to show them that incest probably isn't all that great, but, until recently, this still held true. Pedophilia is still common.
    Last edited by Kochin; 06-24-2013 at 03:08 PM.
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  6. #156
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    The reason incest is relatively uncommon is that people tend not to be sexually attracted to those who they were raised with or who they raised. There is some sort of psychological blocking mechanism that tends to prevent this attraction in that case. Looking at an N=1 case of one tribe cannot lead us to conclusions that can be extrapolated across all humanity.

    I have also read more skeptical commentary on how well that tribe recognized the connection between sex and conception, along the same line as occasional reports about "new stone age tribe discovered!", later followed by the admission that said group was fully aware of civilization and had been trading with them all along.

  7. #157
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    I'd like two husbands. A bad boy to screw my brains out and a bff with whom I could ride ferries, go to zoos, sit and shoot the shit over coffee or drinks, etc. I've never found them in the same person. Hence, I'm single or a serial monogamist.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

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  8. #158
    Paleobird's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kochin View Post
    Because it does. Trobrianders are the only extant human group that don't/didn't understand the sex-baby connection. As they don't/didn't understand it, they assume/d sexual organs are just for fun, that sex is a sort of game. So parents have sex with children, children among each other, adults among each other, brothers and sisters, cousins, brothers and brothers, aunts and nephews... Anything goes. They begin erotic play among each other and with adults around the age of eight.

    PS: Modern sex-ed has begun to show them that incest probably isn't all that great, but, until recently, this still held true. Pedophilia is still common.
    Extant being the key word. Perhaps at one time they were the norm. We judge them by our rules as "pedophiles" but if it is to them all just a fun game, where is the pathology?

    I think one of the things our society does is keeps children as children for a lot longer than is strictly necessary biologically. When I was in Vanuatu I saw little kids being trusted with adult duties very early. I remember this toddler being sent out to gather wood. He was barely taller than the machete his father gave him.

    Quote Originally Posted by eKatherine View Post
    The reason incest is relatively uncommon is that people tend not to be sexually attracted to those who they were raised with or who they raised. There is some sort of psychological blocking mechanism that tends to prevent this attraction in that case. Looking at an N=1 case of one tribe cannot lead us to conclusions that can be extrapolated across all humanity.

    I have also read more skeptical commentary on how well that tribe recognized the connection between sex and conception, along the same line as occasional reports about "new stone age tribe discovered!", later followed by the admission that said group was fully aware of civilization and had been trading with them all along.
    And then there is the controversy surrounding Margaret Meade's work in Samoa which may or may not have been a case of, "Let's see how big a whopper we can tell these white folks. Man, they will believe anything!"
    Last edited by Paleobird; 06-24-2013 at 09:12 PM.

  9. #159
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    I am with the OP, but I also am not totally opposed to monogamy in the event of an unbelievable match. Not counting my chickens on that though. My life is pretty complete without this mythological love.

    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post
    I'd like two husbands. A bad boy to screw my brains out and a bff with whom I could ride ferries, go to zoos, sit and shoot the shit over coffee or drinks, etc. I've never found them in the same person. Hence, I'm single or a serial monogamist.
    Hahahaha
    Last edited by wiltondeportes; 06-24-2013 at 09:15 PM.

  10. #160
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    If girls get their period when they're are 12-14, it means that biologically they are meant to be sexually active at that age. Same thing for boys at 13-15... ever thought about that?

    (Disclaimer - I don't think its ok to have sex with 12 years old, this is for the sake of debating what's "natural")



    Quote Originally Posted by Paleobird View Post
    Extant being the key word. Perhaps at one time they were the norm. We judge them by our rules as "pedophiles" but if it is to them all just a fun game, where is the pathology?

    I think one of the things our society does is keeps children as children for a lot longer than is strictly necessary biologically. When I was in Vanuatu I saw little kids being trusted with adult duties very early. I remember this toddler being sent out to gather wood. He was barely taller than the machete his father gave him.

    And then there is the controversy surrounding Margaret Meade's work in Samoa which may or may not have been a case of, "Let's see how big a whopper we can tell these white folks. Man, they will believe anything!"

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