Signs you might have a problem with butter:
1. You miss social engagements or work because you want to stay home and eat butter.
2. You eat butter when you're alone.
3. You've stolen butter from other people's refrigerators.
4. You start to feel panic when you are down to your last five pounds of butter.
5. You sneak a few bites of butter while attending mass.
6. You get weepy at the thought of a world with no butter.
7. You steal your child's piggy bank money to buy butter.
8. If your spouse ever gave you the ultimatum, "It's me or the butter," you'd choose the butter.
"Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine