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Thread: Journey To Happiness - A Magical Land Where I'm Finally Content page 6

  1. #51
    Driedmango's Avatar
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    Primal Fuel
    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post
    It's great that you let your appreciation for the people in your life be known. I never want anyone to think that I am taking their love and support for granted. I'm very blunt and honest anyway so that might have something to do with it.

    Omg green tea kit kat was the best. Yeah our Japanese markets have green tea flavored everything..
    Haha, that's the best way to be. I need more people like you in my life. I think i've had way too many experiences where i put myself out there for someone else's sake and then sat there wondering if they appreciated it in the slightest - just because they give absolutely no recognition of it.

    Damnit, what's wrong with my japanese store. I want green tea everything!
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

  2. #52
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    Quote Originally Posted by Driedmango View Post
    Haha, that's the best way to be. I need more people like you in my life. I think i've had way too many experiences where i put myself out there for someone else's sake and then sat there wondering if they appreciated it in the slightest - just because they give absolutely no recognition of it.

    Damnit, what's wrong with my japanese store. I want green tea everything!
    Yes I like everything to be out in the open. I don't play games with people when it comes to true feelings (I fuck with people all the time, but that's different....) and sometimes that turns them off but life's too short to sit around wondering who you can depend on and who you cannot. If you continue to make connections and keep yourself open to everyone you meet, you will find others in line with your values and your worldview. But you must not crumble when you are shot down, because that will happen as well.

    You can make anything green tea flavored. Ever use matcha powder? Not just for tea...

  3. #53
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    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post
    Yes I like everything to be out in the open. I don't play games with people when it comes to true feelings (I fuck with people all the time, but that's different....) and sometimes that turns them off but life's too short to sit around wondering who you can depend on and who you cannot. If you continue to make connections and keep yourself open to everyone you meet, you will find others in line with your values and your worldview. But you must not crumble when you are shot down, because that will happen as well.

    You can make anything green tea flavored. Ever use matcha powder? Not just for tea...
    I think that's really how everyone should be, lol. I haaate having to deal with someone beating around the bush. If you don't like me, tell me. If you do, tell me. I try my best not to get jaded by my experiences - and I do keep myself open to people. Unfortunately for me, I seem to attract all the wrong type of people. But I'm optimistic, and I'm sure that eventually I'll meet people who I feel are "in line with my values and worldview"

    I actually took my sister to that japanese store today, and they had the green tea pocky for the first time ever. Well, it was matcha cream flavored. Is that the same? It's a shame I didn't see them before my willpower challenge thing, but I got an extra pack for me to try when it's over . I've never used matcha powder, but I think i'll look into getting some soon.
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

  4. #54
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    Monday, 17th June 2013

    Day Three of Willpower Challenge

    Sleep:

    ~2.30 - 7.30
    Really, reallyyy bad night. I just couldn't seem to fall asleep, so I just laid in bed from 11 to 2. And when i did manage to fall asleep, I just woke up all the time. I could feel my anxiety building up before I fell asleep though, so I know what caused it. But the anxiety's still there, lol. Hopefully it wont be so bad tonight, since I'm so tired anyway.

    Exercise
    Lifting again! Yaaaay!

    Clean [Hang]: 45/5 - 45/5 - 55/5 - 55/5.
    Clean [Full]: 55/5 - 55/5
    Bench: 45/4 - 45/4 - 55/4 - 65/3 - 75/3
    Front Squat: 45/5 - 45/5 - 55/5 - 55/5 - 65/5 - 75/5

    My trainer says I'm actually a lot better at front squats (flexibility-wise, not weight-wise - I do 165 with back squats, and not very heavy with front squats, lol) than I am at back squats. She was confused, because we've only ever done front squats once, and apparently it's not "normal" that I was better at the front one. But she liked it! And I liked that I wasn't "normal" .

    Food:
    Breakfast: Chicken breast deli meat fritatta
    Lunch: Deli meat
    Dinner: Stew with stewing beef cubes and ...a vegetable that I can't remember the name of.
    Snacks: Almonds, walnuts, cherries, dark chocolate and some of the left over mini primal cakes.
    Calories: Absolutely no clue, but probably 1800 or over. The stress of it possibly even being over 2000 hasn't kicked in yet. I'm not going to count for the sake of my sanity. And even though it's a lot, I never felt like I ate to the point of being stuffed. I don't feel too bad about it, because it was all primal. I should probably be a bit more careful for the rest of the week though .

    Thoughts and Stuff:
    So, as far as food goes, I know why I ate so much.
    1) My younger sister woke up with this horrible angry rash on her face, and ended up having to go to the hospital to get checked out (where they said they didn't know what was wrong with her - thanks, that's helpful). So that amplified my anxiety, and I ended up walking in circles eating almonds and walnuts. I know emotional eating isn't good, but meeeh.
    2) I always seem to have weird eating when I don't get a good night's sleep. I definitely didn't get a good night's sleep.
    3) I was anxious about seeing someone. Hell, I'm still anxious about it. I didn't get any answers from seeing him, because we ended up joking around as usual, and lately I find that I'm really hesitant, as far as asking people questions, or trying to figure out where I stand with them. I don't like that I'm developing this irrational fear of being hurt/embarrassed.

    So I had that post about the guy who worked in my building who confused me, and how he mentioned going on a picnic together. I wanted to find out if he was serious, and all night I'd thought of scenarios of how I'd ask, and that I'd just be direct. Nooope, instead I chose the coward's way, and I danced around it. So instead, it ended up with him telling me he knew a really good place for picnics, and he goes there with friends, and that I should go with my family. That did lead to a bit of an odd topic (for me), where he said I was living in the lap of luxury, because I got to see my family a lot, and he didn't. I said I was aware, and that I felt bad, and if I could, I'd get him to the lap of luxury too (it wasn't my way of hitting on him - I just felt really bad for him, he has a lot worse than I do). And he instantly went like "will you marry me?" and burst out laughing. I laughed too and said "just for my money?" and he said "yeah, I have morals, but they don't extend that far."
    I knooow I think too much, but after I left I kind of felt bad. I do come from a decent background, but we weren't always that way. So although we have money and stuff, we aren't the frivolous type who are obsessed with worldly possessions. And it was the second time in one day that he mentioned "my money". I've had people warn me a lot, that people would take advantage of me for financial purposes - and I've had it happen once or twice, just because I'm kind of an idiot. So yeah, it made me feel like I was seen as a sack of money walking around.
    This guy really confuses me I hate not knowing where I stand with people. And he's making my anxiety go off the charts. I need some male input but all my male friends hate having me talk to them about guys. Where are all the super wise MDA guys when you need them?

    Well, it's my sister's birthday tomorrow, and I promised to take her out after her party! Hopefully I can keep busy tomorrow, and ignore all the anxiety.

    Question Of The Day:
    If you didn't know where you stood with someone, or how they felt towards you/what you were to them, how would you find out? Would you just directly ask? Or how would you test the waters?
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

  5. #55
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    Quote Originally Posted by Driedmango View Post

    Food:
    Breakfast: Chicken breast deli meat fritatta
    Lunch: Deli meat
    Dinner: Stew with stewing beef cubes and ...a vegetable that I can't remember the name of.
    Snacks: Almonds, walnuts, cherries, dark chocolate and some of the left over mini primal cakes.
    Calories: Absolutely no clue, but probably 1800 or over. The stress of it possibly even being over 2000 hasn't kicked in yet. I'm not going to count for the sake of my sanity. And even though it's a lot, I never felt like I ate to the point of being stuffed. I don't feel too bad about it, because it was all primal. I should probably be a bit more careful for the rest of the week though .

    Thoughts and Stuff:

    I knooow I think too much, but after I left I kind of felt bad. I do come from a decent background, but we weren't always that way. So although we have money and stuff, we aren't the frivolous type who are obsessed with worldly possessions. And it was the second time in one day that he mentioned "my money". I've had people warn me a lot, that people would take advantage of me for financial purposes - and I've had it happen once or twice, just because I'm kind of an idiot. So yeah, it made me feel like I was seen as a sack of money walking around.
    This guy really confuses me I hate not knowing where I stand with people. And he's making my anxiety go off the charts. I need some male input but all my male friends hate having me talk to them about guys. Where are all the super wise MDA guys when you need them?
    Yeah, don't stress about it. I always seem to be hungrier on lifting days.

    If you have the slightest hint that someone might be showing interest in you because you and your family are well off, pay attention to that. This guy would most likely still be interested in you if you were broke but the fact that it's come up a couple of times is a red flag as to where his attention is focused.

    My family has always been fairly well off until the past 5 years or so. My dad worked for it from the ground up. Even though things have been tight financially, people still think my parents have money. I've never had money, my job doesn't pay very well and I'm a grown woman.... but it amazes me at the assumptions people make about my financial situation based on what think my parents have.

    Just go with your gut on this guy.
    Last edited by brooke.S.; 06-17-2013 at 05:49 PM.

  6. #56
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    QOTD - I've been shy most of my life around the opposite sex, which probably cost me to miss out on a lot of things and relationships. I should be more direct in the future. If I was close with the person though, I don't see why I wouldn't be direct.

    Also, I wish girls were more direct with me!

  7. #57
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    Quote Originally Posted by brookesam View Post
    Yeah, don't stress about it. I always seem to be hungrier on lifting days.

    If you have the slightest hint that someone might be showing interest in you because you and your family are well off, pay attention to that. This guy would most likely still be interested in you if you were broke but the fact that it's come up a couple of times is a red flag as to where his attention is focused.

    My family has always been fairly well off until the past 5 years or so. My dad worked for it from the ground up. Even though things have been tight financially, people still think my parents have money. I've never had money, my job doesn't pay very well and I'm a grown woman.... but it amazes me at the assumptions people make about my financial situation based on what think my parents have.

    Just go with your gut on this guy.
    I think I'm going to tell him tomorrow, that I don't like it when he talks like that. It genuinely does make me feel bad. There's a lot more to me than my family's money, lol. And he's never given a direct compliment or anything - he just teases me all the time!

    People are pretty ridiculous when it comes to money, I think. My dad worked for it all too, but people see us, and they think we must be rich snobs who haven't had to do a thing. Sure, I didn't make the money, but I barely use it either. It doesn't matter to them, though. People love sticking you into the little box of ideas they've created. And I haven't met a single person who hasn't rolled their eyes at me and said "your dad's money, then", when I've said "I don't have any money".

    My gut is soooo confused though, haha. Sometimes I'm 100% certain he's interested in me and he's being careful because I'm a lot more reserved than the girls he's usually around, and because, technically, he works for me. Then I think I'm being arrogant and I doubt everrrything! I'm even beginning to think his picnic comment was really just a joke. I haaaate being confused

    Quote Originally Posted by max219 View Post
    QOTD - I've been shy most of my life around the opposite sex, which probably cost me to miss out on a lot of things and relationships. I should be more direct in the future. If I was close with the person though, I don't see why I wouldn't be direct.

    Also, I wish girls were more direct with me!
    Awh, you have no reason to be shy, Max. You're a good lookin' fella! I'm generally a very direct person, until it comes to someone I really like - then I get this crazy fear of making things awkward.

    Hah, yeah, most of the time girls sit back and wait for the guy to be direct (I'm guilty of it too - but I usually try to get the guy to be direct at least, instead of being 100% passive). I think everyone should just be direct! If anyone likes anyone, they should just come out and say it, regardless of gender!
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

  8. #58
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    Yep matcha = green tea. You can do a lot of things with the powder. It's good in warm milk (like a latte) and in pastries as well. Matcha cookies are good. And of course ice cream. And everything else.

    I'm easily exasperated by people who constantly "beat around the bush" as you say, so if it were me in your situation, I'd probably say "thanks, bye." but I know that isn't helpful to you. He seems like he may be a user and/or is just catty.

  9. #59
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    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post
    Yep matcha = green tea. You can do a lot of things with the powder. It's good in warm milk (like a latte) and in pastries as well. Matcha cookies are good. And of course ice cream. And everything else.

    I'm easily exasperated by people who constantly "beat around the bush" as you say, so if it were me in your situation, I'd probably say "thanks, bye." but I know that isn't helpful to you. He seems like he may be a user and/or is just catty.
    Not many people seem to share my fascination with green tea stuff. The matcha "latte" sounds amazing, though. And the ice cream! I wish I'd bought some of the powder today.

    If his fascination with my family's money is genuine, I would say he's a user too. However, I can't tell if he's serious or not. I don't know if he's catty or not, either. He has told me that this whole obnoxious character he sometimes adopts is a "facade". Which was obvious to me to begin with. I'm pretty good at understanding people on their own, and in their relationships with other people. I just turn into a complete moron when it relates to me in any way
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

  10. #60
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    Can't answer the QOTD today in any helpful way. I am not direct and am intimidated by people who are. Too many years of working retail where you had to be pleasant NO MATTER WHAT.
    Of all the paths you take in life, make sure a few of them are dirt.

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