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Thread: Journey To Happiness - A Magical Land Where I'm Finally Content page 11

  1. #101
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    Primal Fuel
    Quote Originally Posted by CiKi90 View Post
    Hey, I'm really happy that you're excited to travel, buuuuut I'm slightly worried, if I can be honest. You've done so so so much exercise lately and you are definitely NOT eating enough! I am being really hypocritical, because I know I do it, too, but I just want you to be totally aware of it!

    So, saying that, I really think you should take it easy on vacation, really! You should eat what you want, and whenever you want. You should realize that sticking to Primal foods all the time in sacrifice of relaxing and having a good time. Being concerned with your health, wanting to exercise to stay fit and look great, and making sure that you're not overindulging are all great things to be aware of, but it is a slippery slope toward orthorexia. All of these things can snowball into obsessions that I know of all too well. Understand that keeping stress down to a minimum, having adequate fun play time, and getting good amounts of rest are aaallll part being a well-rounded, healthy person! I don't wanna lecture you, but I caaaaare about you lol. Not in a creepy way. Did you ever skim through the Your Eatopia website that I showed you a while back? It might motivate you to let go a little bit on your vacation, so that you can just have fun, relax, and enjoy.

    AOTD: I always want to do all kinds of crazy things, lol. The most recent thing that I've been thinking about doing is going through the obstacle course at a state park near my house. It has a zipline and takes like 3 hours to get through the whole deal. Seems interesting!
    I totally fell asleep while thinking how to reply to this, lol. Then my sister and brother decided to roleplay 'the voice' outside my door and i woke up super annoyed.

    I thought of what you said about eating more and taking it easy and i might've really let loose haha. But i don't feel bad about it, which is weird. Maybe it's because i know i've done like 7+ hours of exercise in the past 5 days. Buut basically i consumed almost 1000 calories of junk. And i feel sooo satisfied. I'm going to post about it in a sec if you wanna read it there

    I know you care and i appreciate it lots and lots! Lecture me if you want, haha. I only read the one article you showed me, but i'll take a look!
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

  2. #102
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    Wednesday, 26th June 2013

    Sugar splurge!

    I think since it's past midnight, i can still say i got ten days done in the willpower challenge! And i'll probably get it back up the day after i land in Dubai.

    Soooo i woke up and saw some left over pocky that i'd been absolutely craving for days. And i thought 'oh what the heck, it's wednesday, you're travelling today anyway.'
    And i kept thinking and thinking and honestly i'm not gonna spend the rest of my life as 100% primal. Im satisfied if most of my food choices are clean.

    And this is basically the breakdown of what i had:
    Shit tonne of pocky
    Hershey's chocolate
    A bit of a leftover frozen waffle
    Some jalapeno chips
    Calories : ~1250

    Wow that's what i eat in a whole day on most days, lol. A little bit of panic kicking in now!

    I dont think i would call this a binge, because i wasn't in that 'out of control eat at the speed of light' type state of mind. I ate it slowly and i reallyyy enjoyed it.

    Of course my obsessive tendencies meant i had to calculate the weeks calories and see if i'd done major damage (i dont feel bad about it, but i dont want to gain weight either!). And i still end up having like 3600 - 5000 calories left for the next two days of travel (depending on how i calculate it). I just need to focus on not panicking over whether or not i calculated it right, lol. And although my weigh-ins are usually friday, im skipping this weeks, just because i know it'll be high, and i dont want to ruin my holiday.

    I feel a bit guilty posting about happily eating sugar and processed stuff on a primal forum, lol. But this is my journey, and that's how it went.
    Last edited by Driedmango; 06-25-2013 at 11:01 PM.
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

  3. #103
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    Yes, you should not worry while you're traveling. Traveling can already be stressful on your body and you don't need to add emotional stress. While I was staying with my friend for the past 5 days I pretty much went with the flow. I didn't eat things I knew caused problems (wheat, vegetables, etc.) but I didn't care about ingredients. I ate way more than I usually do, drank soda and alcohol daily, snacked on Hershey's kisses and jelly bellies between meals, and I think I actually leaned out a bit (not a concern of mine to begin with, but interesting to note nonetheless)

  4. #104
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    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post
    Yes, you should not worry while you're traveling. Traveling can already be stressful on your body and you don't need to add emotional stress. While I was staying with my friend for the past 5 days I pretty much went with the flow. I didn't eat things I knew caused problems (wheat, vegetables, etc.) but I didn't care about ingredients. I ate way more than I usually do, drank soda and alcohol daily, snacked on Hershey's kisses and jelly bellies between meals, and I think I actually leaned out a bit (not a concern of mine to begin with, but interesting to note nonetheless)
    As far as I can tell, there are no specific foods that have any horrible affects on me. But i've definitely decided not to be so militant about what i'm eating on this holiday. I seem to forget that being so obsessive about what I ate was how i got my ED to begin with.

    It's interesting you'd say that, because I was just thinking how i would always lose weight when I wasn't stressing out about food or my weight. I want to try to just listen to what my body wants, because the only reason I end up bingeing is because I deprive it of so much. Does that actually make any sense, lol?

    I was also thinking of trying to rev up my metabolism. I found Zach's journal really interesting. I want to read both his and Yoga's journals from start to finish. Kind of want to make my body a test subject, and just experiment and take my mind off of just blatant restricting.
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

  5. #105
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    Quote Originally Posted by honeybuns View Post
    QOTD answer has to be snowshoeing. I WILL make it happen soon. Life isn't getting any longer, you know.
    Haha is that when you wear those racket like shoes and skip around in the snow? You should definitely do it!
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

  6. #106
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    I think the more you neglect to think about food, the better. Try to eat food that you don't have to prepare yourself, eat what sounds good to you, etc. If possible, don't even stock up on food at home. That way you can go out and get whatever you want to eat at that moment. This might not be feasible at times but try to make it work.

  7. #107
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    Monday, 1st July 2013

    New Month, New Beginning

    Thoughts and Stuff


    Yay, I finally have access to a laptop again!

    I'm finally settling back into life in Dubai. I'm surprised at how much I miss Montreal. For the past 4-5 days I've been absolute garbage in ridiculous amounts. So of course, when I weighed in today, I'd gained (no surprise, but I hadn't gained as much as I thought I would've). By the way, I'm fairly certain this was the longest I'd gone without weighing in a long time, lol. And I plan on not weighing for two weeks. Hopefully this way I can get it to three weeks, four weeks, etc.

    I've eaten sooo much junk, and it was sooo yummy. But I'm starting to feel like crap now. Physically, not mentally (not yet, anyway). So here's a list of my wonderful "problems":

    1)Last night I was eating some chicken and I could literally feel the bite I took move down my intestines, and it got to a certain point about an inch and a half above my belly button to the left, and hurt like hell. I thought it was just some random thing, so I tried again, and lo and behold, there it was again. So I left the food, obviously, but the pain just stayed there for a good while after. This morning I tried again, and there it was again. Later on, I tried again, and now the pain was right under my breast bone. I'm really not sure how to describe the pain, but I'm definitely worried. I've never had anything like that happen before. I was wondering if I'd somehow stressed my intestines or whatever with the giant amounts I was eating all of a sudden. Is that possible? I don't really want to get a tubecamerathing shoved down my throat, lol.
    2)I feel so bloated, like my lower stomach has just expanded beyond belief. And I know I'm retaining water from my hands and ankles/feet.
    3)I always feel so goddamn thirsty, even though I drink over 3 liters a day. And my lips chapped to a ridiculous degree right in the middle of my bottom lip, which is ridiculously annoying, because I always forget and smile/laugh and it rips open.
    4)When I inhale it doesn't feel like the breath is complete, if that makes sense.

    I've decided to definitely cut out the junk I've been eating again, because it's just not worth it. Although I'm not going to make a huge fuss over staying primal, I do want to eat as natural as possible. I managed to go grocery shopping today and bought a tonne of fruits. I also got some smoked turkey deli meat thingy, yogurt, and soup-in-a-cup. The yogurt and soup are mainly because it doesn't hurt as much to swallow liquids. I can't make any home-made soup yet, because the kitchen's still pretty messed up. I don't think I ever would've noticed how shitty all this processed stuff makes me feel if I hadn't tried primal. I even miss my organic dark chocolate with fruit bits .

    On a different note, I saw my best friend today! We were talking about weight for some reason, and she told me her weight (the same as mine, but she's around 165-170cm whereas I'm 155.5 (the .5 is super important) cm), and at one point I jokingly said I was just going to catch up to her weight (I didn't tell her how much I weighed) and she said "no way, you'd be huge". I think that's a compliment, because it means I look smaller than I weigh, right? And she also said something about how I was being stupid, and that I was really small as it is. I don't know why no matter how many times people tell me I'm really not as big as I think I am, I just can't seem to get myself to believe it. I just don't want to be "acceptable". I want to have a body that I'm really really proud of, I guess. And I know i can get it, if I would stop getting in my own way. Definitely some ED stuff still going on here, lol.

    Buuuuut! Vacation is going well, it's really hot, happy to see friends and old places and my home and definitely happy to be back on MDA . I'm going to be posting properly again starting tomorrow, hopefully.

    Oh and I'll finally be fixing my sleep pattern tonight. It has been crrraaayyyzayyy since I got here, and I intentionally stayed out as long as possible so I couldn't crawl into bed in the middle of the day. And it was fun! I'd forgotten how much I love it here.

    Looking forward to catching up with everyone's journals tomorrow, since I'm completely exhausted tonight.

    I hope everyone out there is having a gloooriouuus day.

    Question Of The Day
    Have you ever gotten in your own way in regards to something you really wanted? If so, how did you kick your own ass out of the way?

    So get off your low, let's kiss like we used to
    Last edited by Driedmango; 07-02-2013 at 07:48 AM.
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

  8. #108
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    I get in my own way all the time food wise. Everywhere else in life I'm rational and controlled while still being really flexible. I have food issues I guess. I'm trying to figure this out with the resources that are available to me.
    "I came to live out loud!" -Emile Zola

  9. #109
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    Sorry to hear you're having some problems, but great that you're seeing your friends and at least the food is yummy

    I think you can be proud of your body no matter what it looks like if you take care of it and keep it strong. And your friend is probably right - you do not look big. You only feel that way because relative to how you were you are larger.

    Try to eat some things that make you feel good and just enjoy the rest!

  10. #110
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Quote Originally Posted by Tandy View Post
    I get in my own way all the time food wise. Everywhere else in life I'm rational and controlled while still being really flexible. I have food issues I guess. I'm trying to figure this out with the resources that are available to me.
    That sounds like me, actually. I hope you figure it out as soon as possible!

    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post
    Sorry to hear you're having some problems, but great that you're seeing your friends and at least the food is yummy

    I think you can be proud of your body no matter what it looks like if you take care of it and keep it strong. And your friend is probably right - you do not look big. You only feel that way because relative to how you were you are larger.

    Try to eat some things that make you feel good and just enjoy the rest!
    Thank youu, and you're totally right! It's just the number on the scale that's completely dictating my feelings towards my body, which is ridiculous. I've mentioned it in my journal before, but all my clothes from when I was at my lowest weight still fit pretty much the same. It's all just a mental thing, and I know that.
    I will, thanks again !

    Quote Originally Posted by CiKi90 View Post
    Happy July! I thought you might be off line the entire time you were on vacation! It's good to see that you're having a semi-good time.

    A few questions regarding your tummy troubles -- you don't have to answer anything if you feel like it's TMI, lol.
    1) traveling can be harsh on the digestive system, are you kind of, ahm, backed up?!
    2) How is your salt intake/electrolyte levels, are they balanced? That could cause a lot of thirst, bloating, and swelling.
    3) (not really a question, but) do you have any Vaseline/petroleum jelly at home? If you do, you can rub some on your mouth before you go to bed at night, and it will help to heal your mouth while you're sleeping. You can also rub an excess amount of it on your lips before you get into the shower, so that the steam will help to soften it up quickly. If you don't have petroleum jelly, you can just use a buuuunch of lip balm, lol. Or maybe even coconut oil, but I've never tried that!

    Answer of the Day!
    I always get in the way of myself when it comes to getting things that I want. It's usually due to my perfectionist state of mind when it comes to myself, but I am much more lenient on other people. Sometimes, I mess up on small things because of my perfectionist attitude -- i.e., when I am making dinner and I need it to be perfect, so I'll add in something "Extra" and then it screws the whole thing up. Or I"ll try to do something fancy and then I'm concentrating too hard on one thing, and I burn everything else! lol. But I have screwed myself over on larger things, too, my eating disorder being one obvious example. It all comes down to anxiety and fear, really, which I am constantly full of but trying to work toward getting over.
    Haha no, i think I check MDA more than I check facebook, now!
    1)I'm actually not backed up. My BMs have been the same as ever (so, not frequent, but that's my "regular").
    2)I don't know about that. I've never monitored salt/electrolyte. Buuut I woke up super thirsty again today
    3)I love vaseline I always carry around a tiny little vaseline cocoa butter tub. I forgot i brought it with me. I'll try the shower thing too.

    I feel the same way, lol. I don't think your ED was really you "screwing yourself over", since that isn't really completely in your control. But still, you've been working really hard to remedy that, and I, for one, think you've done a maaarvelous job !
    Attitudes are contagious, make yours worth catching.

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