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Thread: Stupidest Weight Loss Advice

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun 2011
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    Stupidest Weight Loss Advice

    The challenge: Come up with the stupidest weight loss advice!

    Chose the produce that started decaying. It will trim your appetite by decreasing the visual appeal, the palatability in addition to perking up your digestion. If you purchase the decaying produce on sale, or pick it for free from the trash, that will also reduce the cost of living a healthy lifestyle.

    Recipe: No-Care Soup

    Ingredients:
    1 head of iceberg lettuce
    1 bunch of cilantro
    1/2 cucumber
    3 tomatoes
    1 vegetable of choice

    1. Throw all vegetables in a plastic bag. Place the bag in the bottom drawer. Rotate the bag once a day till the rotting juices start running clear.
    2. Open the bag and enjoy! This is the dish that keeps getting better and more weight-loss promoting every day. It is practically guaranteed that by day 5 one healthful sniff of it at it at dinner time can prevent night eating issues!
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
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    1. Eat every 2 hours to stabilize your blood glucose.
    2. Prepare 8 meals per day.
    3. You no longer have time to work.
    4. You lose your job and no longer have money for food. Guaranteed weight loss!

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2013
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    California
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    Want to lose some lbs? Amputation. It is likely the quickest and easiest way to lose weight.
    The above should be viewed as complete and utter nonsense.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by aliphian View Post
    Want to lose some lbs? Amputation. It is likely the quickest and easiest way to lose weight.
    Divorce also. I once lost 175 unwanted pounds just by signing a form.


    Stupid advice: eat all you want. Fasting wrecks your metabolism. Beans and tofu are great sources of protein. Women should lift light weights so they don't get all bulky and lumpy.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post
    Divorce also. I once lost 175 unwanted pounds just by signing a form.
    Hahahaha!!! I lost the same amount of wt. doing this too!

    Unfortunately, I also lost about 40 lbs prior to that due to stress and nursing a baby before I signed on the dotted line (right after my mom told my I looked like shit - she's tactfully honest and I love it).

    I DON'T recommend stress for a diet but it could be consider a STUPID way to lose weight for some.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Location
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    Quote Originally Posted by AuroraB View Post
    I DON'T recommend stress for a diet but it could be consider a STUPID way to lose weight for some.
    That remind me of my sister. She's naturally thin but she keeps saying she's going to write a diet book called "Worrying Works" because whenever she's anxious she loses her appetite. She jokingly tells me to have an affair and then the stress of screwing things up with my husband will cause me to be unable to eat so I'll lose weight.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by nikitakolata View Post
    That remind me of my sister. She's naturally thin but she keeps saying she's going to write a diet book called "Worrying Works" because whenever she's anxious she loses her appetite. She jokingly tells me to have an affair and then the stress of screwing things up with my husband will cause me to be unable to eat so I'll lose weight.
    Well, I guess that'd be one way to do it. Ha!

    Both of my younger sisters are stress eaters and pack on the pounds with it. One of them also gets horrible acne because of it, which must suck when your over 40. I'd rather have my kind of stress if I had a choice.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    May 2012
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    522
    A couple of days ago, I read in my biology textbook that a 'healthy, growing adolescent should consume on average 344g of carbs per day.'

    ????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb 2013
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    280
    1. Spend 3-4 hrs in the gym every day doing chronic cardio.

    2. Avoid all fats and eat fiber until it comes out of your ears.

    3. On your 7th bathroom visit for the day, slip and hit your head on the toilet bowl.

    4. Spend 4 week in a hospital eating only Jello.

    5. If all else fails, join Jenny Craig and consume all the chemicals you want.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Sep 2010
    Posts
    4,518
    Eat less, exercise more. Oh, and don't eat any fat at all.
    Using low lectin/nightshade free primal to control autoimmune arthritis. (And lost 50 lbs along the way )

    http://www.krispin.com/lectin.html

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