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Thread: Stupidest Weight Loss Advice page

  1. #1
    Leida's Avatar
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    Stupidest Weight Loss Advice

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    The challenge: Come up with the stupidest weight loss advice!

    Chose the produce that started decaying. It will trim your appetite by decreasing the visual appeal, the palatability in addition to perking up your digestion. If you purchase the decaying produce on sale, or pick it for free from the trash, that will also reduce the cost of living a healthy lifestyle.

    Recipe: No-Care Soup

    Ingredients:
    1 head of iceberg lettuce
    1 bunch of cilantro
    1/2 cucumber
    3 tomatoes
    1 vegetable of choice

    1. Throw all vegetables in a plastic bag. Place the bag in the bottom drawer. Rotate the bag once a day till the rotting juices start running clear.
    2. Open the bag and enjoy! This is the dish that keeps getting better and more weight-loss promoting every day. It is practically guaranteed that by day 5 one healthful sniff of it at it at dinner time can prevent night eating issues!
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  2. #2
    eKatherine's Avatar
    eKatherine is online now Senior Member
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    1. Eat every 2 hours to stabilize your blood glucose.
    2. Prepare 8 meals per day.
    3. You no longer have time to work.
    4. You lose your job and no longer have money for food. Guaranteed weight loss!

  3. #3
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    Want to lose some lbs? Amputation. It is likely the quickest and easiest way to lose weight.
    The above should be viewed as complete and utter nonsense.

  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by aliphian View Post
    Want to lose some lbs? Amputation. It is likely the quickest and easiest way to lose weight.
    Divorce also. I once lost 175 unwanted pounds just by signing a form.


    Stupid advice: eat all you want. Fasting wrecks your metabolism. Beans and tofu are great sources of protein. Women should lift light weights so they don't get all bulky and lumpy.
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  5. #5
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    A couple of days ago, I read in my biology textbook that a 'healthy, growing adolescent should consume on average 344g of carbs per day.'

    ????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  6. #6
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    1. Spend 3-4 hrs in the gym every day doing chronic cardio.

    2. Avoid all fats and eat fiber until it comes out of your ears.

    3. On your 7th bathroom visit for the day, slip and hit your head on the toilet bowl.

    4. Spend 4 week in a hospital eating only Jello.

    5. If all else fails, join Jenny Craig and consume all the chemicals you want.

  7. #7
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    Eat less, exercise more. Oh, and don't eat any fat at all.
    Using low lectin/nightshade free primal to control autoimmune arthritis. (And lost 50 lbs along the way )

    http://www.krispin.com/lectin.html

  8. #8
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    Tapeworms....failing that eat a half frozen duck. My friend did that and lost 30lbs in a fortnight.

  9. #9
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    Pray. Ideally sacrifice some kind of animal. The organism's size should be equivocal to the weight you need to lose. Sleep with the dead creature's heart under your pillow and by morning you'll be skinny!

    Don't forget to pay a significant portion of your income to the religious practitioner who helps you implement this fool-proof plan. I'm available for consultation. My number is 0749.....
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  10. #10
    j3nn's Avatar
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    Avoid fruit, including berries to lose weight.

    Keep your carbs between 50-100g/day for effortless weight loss.

    Avoid all carbs to lose weight.
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