Hey lady, you know: a few months ago I was feeling the same way as you. I preferred the company of the people I met online to those I was meeting in reality. This forum attracts a high calibre of people (there are so many awesome characters on here), and we can talk about things we're interested in, but the main reason was that I wasn't feeling good in myself. Once I sorted out my head it was much easier to connect with people in reality. There are tons of cool people everywhere - it's about being open. You're going through a slump right now, but NYC is amazing, and you'll appreciate it again soon
The homesickness is probably an extension of the loneliness, not the other way around, and maybe is compounded by your relationships doubts (have you been having them for long?) Don't rush into any decisions while you're not in a positive head space.
And finally... I could compliment you and tell you that you're beautiful, exotic, and strong (definitely NOT fat), but would it make you feel better? Maybe momentarily. Be patient - you'll get to where you want to be. Hugs and <3
"I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.
In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."
- Ray Peat