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  1. #71
    cori93437's Avatar
    cori93437 is offline Senior Member
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    I'm really sorry... but any women who are trying to speak for all women in saying that "Women always feel something(emotional) during sex" should really just stop.
    And no. Women who enjoy sex sans emotional ties are not "trying to be like men". WTH?

    People are simply different. SOME people do want/form emotional connection with physical connection, others don't always.

    Sure, I'm not a fan of the one night stand with guys. It did't take me but a couple of shots at that to figure out it was a losing bet. What I did figure out though was that I could find I guy I had great sexual chemistry with but ZERO desire for any actual relationship with and form a consensual booty call partnership with him. Thus I could go on dates with lots of guys I was interested in possibly having relationships with, but not be so goddam horney from lack of sex that I fell right into bed with them at the drop of a hat. It worked great for me. I've not had very many male sexual relationships due to that choice. I have, and have always had, an extremely high libido... I have never felt bad about having these NSA relationships even though back when I was doing it there wasn't even really a name for it like NSA or FWB.
    Once a guy I was in a NSA deal with got too friendly and hinted that he wanted "more"... I dropped him immediately as nicely as I could. I was just not interested in a relationship at all. I had made that VERY clear from the beginning.

    I did however have a ton of sex with women. A lot of one night stands and some shot term and longer dating.
    The one night stands and quickies were all very nice I assure you. No performance issues there unlike with guys. No emotions were necessary. It was just pure sexual energy getting burned and both parties were aware of that. It had exactly zero to do with me thinking about "being like a man" and trying to take my emotions out of the situation. I new I wanted sex, so I had sex. I didn't have any further feelings. Just thanks, that was awesome, and bye.

    Sometimes, even for women, sex is just sex.

    I'm "old" and married now... married for 15 years... and I LOVE that emotional connection. We don't need sex to feel connected, sometimes just a good hug or cuddle and chat in bed does that, but we still have really good sex even after all these years.
    However, the "just sex" was really good back in the day too.
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  2. #72
    wiltondeportes's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cori93437 View Post
    I'm really sorry... but any women who are trying to speak for all women in saying that "Women always feel something(emotional) during sex" should really just stop.
    And no. Women who enjoy sex sans emotional ties are not "trying to be like men". WTH?

    People are simply different. SOME people do want/form emotional connection with physical connection, others don't always.

    Sure, I'm not a fan of the one night stand with guys. It did't take me but a couple of shots at that to figure out it was a losing bet. What I did figure out though was that I could find I guy I had great sexual chemistry with but ZERO desire for any actual relationship with and form a consensual booty call partnership with him. Thus I could go on dates with lots of guys I was interested in possibly having relationships with, but not be so goddam horney from lack of sex that I fell right into bed with them at the drop of a hat. It worked great for me. I've not had very many male sexual relationships due to that choice. I have, and have always had, an extremely high libido... I have never felt bad about having these NSA relationships even though back when I was doing it there wasn't even really a name for it like NSA or FWB.
    Once a guy I was in a NSA deal with got too friendly and hinted that he wanted "more"... I dropped him immediately as nicely as I could. I was just not interested in a relationship at all. I had made that VERY clear from the beginning.

    I did however have a ton of sex with women. A lot of one night stands and some shot term and longer dating.
    The one night stands and quickies were all very nice I assure you. No performance issues there unlike with guys. No emotions were necessary. It was just pure sexual energy getting burned and both parties were aware of that. It had exactly zero to do with me thinking about "being like a man" and trying to take my emotions out of the situation. I new I wanted sex, so I had sex. I didn't have any further feelings. Just thanks, that was awesome, and bye.

    Sometimes, even for women, sex is just sex.

    I'm "old" and married now... married for 15 years... and I LOVE that emotional connection. We don't need sex to feel connected, sometimes just a good hug or cuddle and chat in bed does that, but we still have really good sex even after all these years.
    However, the "just sex" was really good back in the day too.
    That's closer to what I'm talking about.

    It's also a perfect example of getting what you want and need out of a situation instead of whining that not everyone sees it your way or giving up if it's not given to you.
    Last edited by wiltondeportes; 06-08-2013 at 01:36 AM.

  3. #73
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zanna View Post
    The shyness you encounter is not always shyness, but caution ...
    I have to agree with this.

    Foremost, I know lots of people (of many ages) who are fine with casual relationships and are even looking for those, but it's very normal for people to be cautious. There is a lot of crazy out there. A lot of it. And as such, people are cautious to not invite the crazy into their lives.

    Bloodorchid wrote about one kind: "we sexed! i know you love me!" I've run into this from men and women where it's like "you talked to me! you obviously want to be with me!" largely because there's all kinds of crazy/lonely out there.

    whether real life or online, i'm cautious.

    might I suggest a swingers club? some of them have evenings when men are allowed to come as singles, but msot of them will only let you become a member if you are part of a couple. so, look for those clubs that allow men to come as singles on occasion.

  4. #74
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    LOL, my neighbor ALWAYS had 2 or 3 guys that she didn't want to date on the side for sex. I think women enjoy a hook up as much as men do.

    And not all guys just want sex. My other online dating friend is a guy who has no desire to hook up randomly.

    Probably a lot depends on your sex drive. If you want to have sex daily and are single, I imagine part of that is hook ups without dinner and flowers.

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  5. #75
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    Quote Originally Posted by wiltondeportes View Post
    How can you even decide what feminism stands for now? What are your sources and reasoning for this statement?

    I think feminism is accused for all the world's problems by guys who actually just have problems themselves and don't have enough courage to admit that what is happening could be partially THEIR fault (and certainly partially the fault of particular woman they talk to) and NOT the feminism movement's fault.

    I once lumped feminism into the whole "Political Correctness" thing that seemed like a panacea. In hindsight, it was a bunch of whining, obsessive nostalgia, and a lack of courage to man up and change my own situation. Plus, I've learned more about general governance, so I have different opinions on the best solutions there too.
    I already posted enough on this to give you an idea, and no, it has nothing to do with what you said.
    nihil

  6. #76
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    My experiences with OKCupid and PlentyofFish were so awful that I deleted both accounts. Since I never meet potential mates in the course of my daily life, this means I had such a horrible experience with online dating that I gave up completely. The potential mates available to me are so awful that the only reasonable conclusion is that I'm better off alone. Even the sex was pathetic.

  7. #77
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    Quote Originally Posted by Derpamix View Post
    It's about labeling yourself, unfortunately your cause(which is legitimate, and for all intents and purposes, already won), is taken over by insane people, who, for some reason or another, hate men. This means, what feminism once stood for, which is equality, is no longer about equality, it's about an irrational hatred of another human being, for being a different sex. It encompasses all stupid stereotypes, while making itself out to be a stereotype. Hilarious really.

    Unfortunately labeling yourself causes others to stereotype you out to be like that other group, as what she is saying in that picture.

    Everything else, I agree with what you're saying. I love women, I don't love stupid people who spread hate.

    I blame the American media, which is run by something else entirely which I won't get into here, because it is too controversial and likely to make people get up in arms.
    Personally, I've never experienced being a woman to be a disadvantage in my career, but many women in the same career bleat on about how "it's so tough on women". I think it's more down to your own attitude.

    As I said, I have three good friends who are feminists, and they are the complete opposite to the stereotype. They're all really feminine, open-minded, love men, and promote the idea that everyone is unique. The focus is still on equal rights for women. Apparently this is "third wave" feminism.

    Quote Originally Posted by j3nn View Post
    It has been my observation that most feminists do not fight for equality, but rather for favoritism. True equal opportunity does not need labels. All humans have the same rights and they never come at the expense of another. E.g., getting hired simply because you are _________ (insert group requesting special privileges).
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  8. #78
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    First time I've engaged in any discussion here about feminism and definitely the last time.

    In my opinion, "I'm a feminist" should mean nothing more than "I believe the sexes are equal." Nothing more, nothing less. I identified as a feminist for most of my life and if grilled, would admit I still do. However, I don't like to admit it because it seems that current feminism consists primarily of accusations of "slut-shaming" and whining about the beauty ideal/banging the fat acceptance drum. And talking about how that song "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is about date rape. It's fucking stupid and I'm done with it.

  9. #79
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    My online dating summary:

    Ill marry anyone in the UK or EU so I can have the legal right to work there. Call it a business contract, I promise I'm not that annoying.

    Surprisingly I have had any offers yet lol


    Excuse me for any typos and sarcastic remarks, sent from my iPhone using Marks Daily Apple Forum mobile app

  10. #80
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    Quote Originally Posted by Violette_R View Post
    First time I've engaged in any discussion here about feminism and definitely the last time.

    In my opinion, "I'm a feminist" should mean nothing more than "I believe the sexes are equal." Nothing more, nothing less. I identified as a feminist for most of my life and if grilled, would admit I still do. However, I don't like to admit it because it seems that current feminism consists primarily of accusations of "slut-shaming" and whining about the beauty ideal/banging the fat acceptance drum. And talking about how that song "Baby, It's Cold Outside" is about date rape. It's fucking stupid and I'm done with it.
    I looked up what you said re: "baby, it's cold outside" expecting to find that any article about it was just written as a joke. Sadly no! How ridiculous!

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