I have friends who try to both take turns as much as possible in their child care. As in when the children are sick or need a thing with school done the mother and father who both work at approximately equally paying professional jobs take turns being the parent who "goes" that time so that neither is bearing the brunt of the burden.
The father has been told on numerous occasions that he needs to have his wife do it and has had to argue with his employer for his right to parent.
This is part of the problem. And this is why on most families it is automatically the wife who take off work to attend the issues concerning children. Men receive more backlash from bosses about it because it's what women are expected to do... and as a result women are often expected to take less pay.
It's all a bit of ridiculous circular logic.
Old standards self reinforcing each other.