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Thread: Sanity and weight loss page 27

  1. #261
    quelsen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    So, here's an interesting thing. I realize that I (needlessly) see myself as "different" from a lot of people here. I did lose weight (body fat) over 6-8 months (about 15 lbs) when I went primal. I think things had to happen in a certain order for me so that I could stay sane, find my awesome therapist, try out amino acids for my mood disorders, and ultimately, re-focus my goals on becoming FIT, not thin. Ultimately, people want to be healthy, right? Since my digestive issues have started resolving (not constipated all the time), I've found it easier to embrace my body as is. I'm still striving for improvement, but it's more about being functional than achieving a certain aesthetic. If I have to buy new clothes because mine don't fit anymore, so be it.

    But here's where I surprised myself: I thought, "I think I'll make it a point not to weigh myself for the rest of the year." And I was scared. I don't often weigh myself. There's a scale at work that I use maybe every couple of months and that resets my reference point. It's so ingrained in me that I should know how much I weigh (even though it's completely arbitrary) that it scares me to not have a recent number to reference. Wow. I guess it's time for me to commit to this. I'm going to have to ask my fiancÚ to weigh the cat (weigh himself, then weigh himself holding the cat) or look at the numbers for me, when I borrow my parents' scale once a month to check the cat's weight loss progress. Haha, does that make me a hypocrite (to weigh the cat)?

    I'm looking forward to hopefully a new frame of reference in how I view myself.

    Edit: the "seeing myself as different" comes from telling people to get rid of their scales, but not being willing to 100% commit to not using one myself. "I'm not actively losing weight, I don't need to know, but that means it doesn't have a hold on me." Wrong.

    I made a similar choice this year. i think both getting mentally healthier and physically so moves you in that direction. I do weigh daily, but only to see that i am stable not for fear i am not.. huge viewpoint change.
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  2. #262
    YogaBare's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Certainly Leida, you, me, or anyone should feel free to talk about our neurosis, issues, struggles, triumphs or whatever, but the flip side of that is when a healthy weight person refers to 130ish pounds as 'tonnage' she has to expect those busting their (significantly larger asses) to get to <whatever weight> to say "Wait a f*cking minute..." That is just the nature of the beast.
    It's all about perspective, isn't it?

    Personally, I don't think anyone should refer to their body as "tonnage" - even those who are obese.

    I totally hear what you're saying, and for some people a wake up call is just what they need. For other people, that won't work: they need to wake up themselves.

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Yes, the hate speak is sucktastic.

    By all means, talk about how to get leaner, harder, better. But can the hate speak.
    Don't you see that that is also hate speak?

    Quote Originally Posted by namelesswonder View Post
    Edit: the "seeing myself as different" comes from telling people to get rid of their scales, but not being willing to 100% commit to not using one myself. "I'm not actively losing weight, I don't need to know, but that means it doesn't have a hold on me." Wrong.
    Very true. Just because you don't have the behaviour doesn't mean the neurosis isn't still persisting.
    Last edited by YogaBare; 06-20-2013 at 11:24 AM.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  3. #263
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Certainly Leida, you, me, or anyone should feel free to talk about our neurosis, issues, struggles, triumphs or whatever, but the flip side of that is when a healthy weight person refers to 130ish pounds as 'tonnage' she has to expect those busting their (significantly larger asses) to get to <whatever weight> to say "Wait a f*cking minute..." That is just the nature of the beast.
    This (again), though not because she should be happy just for being under 150/200/etc. There's always room for self-improvement as most people aren't always happy with where they're at -- and there's nothing wrong with that.

    I just really hope Leida will one day learn to love herself and not look at herself in disgust when she really does look completely normal. It's just the extreme way she describes herself negatively, that I hope for her will go away in time. Maybe it is body dysmorphia, I don't know.

  4. #264
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    For other people, that won't work: they need to wake up themselves.
    Very true, and I will shut up now.

    And Leida, we want you to be happy and see the beautiful we see Hopefully one day you will.
    somehow I manage to leave my intelligence and decorum at the door wherever I go. I doubt your journal will be an exception to that - not on the rug

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  5. #265
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    Just seems like if someone is honest about their neurosis (yes, we know it is neurosis) everyone jumps on them.
    I swear mean this in the most absolutely supportive way possible: If you admit is a neurosis why not try to fix that rather than keep pounding (mentally and physically) your bodies unmercilessly? Isn't there some quote about insanity being defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? I see the kind of workouts and food gymnastics you guys do in these forums but it never seems to get you where you somehow believe you're supposed to be. What about trying to let go of the neurosis part instead?

    Also Magnolia you are my new hero...
    Breathe. Move forward.

    I just eat what I want...

  6. #266
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post

    And Leida, we want you to be happy and see the beautiful we see Hopefully one day you will.
    +1000
    Breathe. Move forward.

    I just eat what I want...

  7. #267
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Very true, and I will shut up now.

    And Leida, we want you to be happy and see the beautiful we see Hopefully one day you will.
    <3

    Quote Originally Posted by excursivey View Post
    I swear mean this in the most absolutely supportive way possible: If you admit is a neurosis why not try to fix that rather than keep pounding (mentally and physically) your bodies unmercilessly? Isn't there some quote about insanity being defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? I see the kind of workouts and food gymnastics you guys do in these forums but it never seems to get you where you somehow believe you're supposed to be. What about trying to let go of the neurosis part instead?
    That's kind of the point of this thread?
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  8. #268
    namelesswonder's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by quelsen View Post
    I made a similar choice this year. i think both getting mentally healthier and physically so moves you in that direction. I do weigh daily, but only to see that i am stable not for fear i am not.. huge viewpoint change.
    Yes, it's that shift from fear to "just checking." I kind of thought that I was okay with it, but now that I'm thinking of doing this, I have the urge to run over to the scale in the supply room "one last time." That's not a healthy attitude, in my mind, so I am cutting myself off. Unfortunately, I will still find out how much I weigh at my doctor's office, unless I don't look and ask them not to tell me (I worry that they might think I have some kind of disorder if I request this...but what does it matter?).

    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    I totally hear what you're saying, and for some people a wake up call is just what they need. For other people, that won't work: they need to wake up themselves.
    I think it's all a personal battle in the end. People can say whatever they want, but you have to make the choice to make a change (seek help, accept help, try something new, etc.). It can take a long time before someone realizes that they were not ready to change.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
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  9. #269
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    Quote Originally Posted by excursivey View Post
    I swear mean this in the most absolutely supportive way possible: If you admit is a neurosis why not try to fix that rather than keep pounding (mentally and physically) your bodies unmercilessly? Isn't there some quote about insanity being defined as doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? I see the kind of workouts and food gymnastics you guys do in these forums but it never seems to get you where you somehow believe you're supposed to be. What about trying to let go of the neurosis part instead?
    I think YB is right, that is part of the point of the thread. I also think that just admitting there's something wrong doesn't mean you know how to fix it or that it's going to be quick/noticeable to other people. (This could be expanded on, I'm just not sure where else the thoughts are going.)

    I think the best thing others can do is empathize, support in a healthy way, and try not to feed the demons. TBH, I try not to address anyone's particular neurosis (unless they're discussing treatment options and I have thoughts on that) because I don't want them to feel like that's all I see them for. I'm not my anxiety or depression, but treating those things is currently a big part of my identity.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  10. #270
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    This is why YB opened this thread: to discuss the way forward from the dead end you arrive to when you cannot snap out of the mindset of having to improve your body.

    When I was overweight, it was a relatively simple idea - lose extra weight, feel great.

    Now, years after the weight went down from the overweight to normal, there are a few things:

    1) every time the weight starts climbing up, and it tries to do so continuously, because the body remembers the overweight state it is not an easy thing. Right now I am 15-17 lbs heavier than when I took the pic someone had referred to. It is hard not to fight to get what you have had back.
    2) there is a difference between normal weight and an attractive body. Not the starved-thin body, but a body that shows fitness and vitality
    3) Heightened physiological and psychological responses to hunger, to restrictions, to fasting, to particular exercise
    4) Ebbs and flows of faith into that next magic workout regimen or dietary regimen that will finally lets you achieve what you want.

    Someone at a different stage of fitness may look at my state as desirable, but I also see plenty of people in the stages of fitness that I consider desirable. There is a continuum of improvements, and it is hard to face that you have reached your best when the gap is so wide between the noticeably fit and your own.

    Just keep in mind that the attempt here is to find the way out of the maze. Mind creates conflict when it perceives falsehood, so I preserve negative assessment of self because it's true, AND I try to change my way of dealing with it. The truth doesn't have to be mutually exclusive. I can have this body AND be happy about it AND not try to change it any longer. That's the goal.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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