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  1. #251
    Leida's Avatar
    Leida is offline Senior Member
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    Women at the same height and weight will look very different depending on the proportion of fat vs muscle. I know that my weight is 'healthy', but healthy doesn't mean that my body is not doughy, flabby, has bulges and do not look fit. I don't want to be thin, I want to be firm and look good in a swimming suit. You wanna hit me because of it? You probably need to carry stick around and beat up 99% of women around you. Because, frankly, I think that most women want that, just afraid to express it, because someone might consider them vain or inconsiderate of the feelings of others.
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  2. #252
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    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    So, here's an interesting thing. I realize that I (needlessly) see myself as "different" from a lot of people here. I did lose weight (body fat) over 6-8 months (about 15 lbs) when I went primal. I think things had to happen in a certain order for me so that I could stay sane, find my awesome therapist, try out amino acids for my mood disorders, and ultimately, re-focus my goals on becoming FIT, not thin. Ultimately, people want to be healthy, right? Since my digestive issues have started resolving (not constipated all the time), I've found it easier to embrace my body as is. I'm still striving for improvement, but it's more about being functional than achieving a certain aesthetic. If I have to buy new clothes because mine don't fit anymore, so be it.

    But here's where I surprised myself: I thought, "I think I'll make it a point not to weigh myself for the rest of the year." And I was scared. I don't often weigh myself. There's a scale at work that I use maybe every couple of months and that resets my reference point. It's so ingrained in me that I should know how much I weigh (even though it's completely arbitrary) that it scares me to not have a recent number to reference. Wow. I guess it's time for me to commit to this. I'm going to have to ask my fiancÚ to weigh the cat (weigh himself, then weigh himself holding the cat) or look at the numbers for me, when I borrow my parents' scale once a month to check the cat's weight loss progress. Haha, does that make me a hypocrite (to weigh the cat)?

    I'm looking forward to hopefully a new frame of reference in how I view myself.

    Edit: the "seeing myself as different" comes from telling people to get rid of their scales, but not being willing to 100% commit to not using one myself. "I'm not actively losing weight, I don't need to know, but that means it doesn't have a hold on me." Wrong.
    Last edited by namelesswonder; 06-20-2013 at 10:43 AM.
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  3. #253
    canio6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    And for the record, I think the last thing Leida needs is more abuse.
    Agreed and I do not think that is anyone's intent. Perhaps it's because I am a dude or ignorant or a moron, but frankly it is sad when perfectly healthy weight and attractive women look in the mirror and hate themselves. It just doesn't make any sense. I guess I will just add it to the ever growing list of 'sh*t canio doesn't understand about women-folks' and leave this thread alone. Best of luck to everyone in it. I hope you find the happiness you are seeking.

  4. #254
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    For the record I was NOT trying to be abusive! I've been reading these boards since last September and getting a lot out of them. But honestly it seems like it's always the same thing for some people, they just refuse to consider that maybe they do look good or even great and it's more a body dysmorphia problem than anything else. I have seen your photos Leida and the mean things you say about yourself (and basically any other normal sized women) are just insane. Has it occurred to you that maybe the stress of this obssession is half the battle?
    Breathe. Move forward.

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  5. #255
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Agreed and I do not think that is anyone's intent. Perhaps it's because I am a dude or ignorant or a moron, but frankly it is sad when perfectly healthy weight and attractive women look in the mirror and hate themselves. It just doesn't make any sense. I guess I will just add it to the ever growing list of 'sh*t canio doesn't understand about women-folks' and leave this thread alone. Best of luck to everyone in it. I hope you find the happiness you are seeking.
    All I was trying to say...
    Breathe. Move forward.

    I just eat what I want...

  6. #256
    excursivey's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leida View Post
    You probably need to carry stick around and beat up 99% of women around you.
    No. I want you to drop the stick and quit beating yourself.
    Breathe. Move forward.

    I just eat what I want...

  7. #257
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    magnolia1973 is offline Senior Member
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    This is why I unabashadly love men.

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  8. #258
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    Quote Originally Posted by canio6 View Post
    Agreed and I do not think that is anyone's intent. Perhaps it's because I am a dude or ignorant or a moron, but frankly it is sad when perfectly healthy weight and attractive women look in the mirror and hate themselves. It just doesn't make any sense. I guess I will just add it to the ever growing list of 'sh*t canio doesn't understand about women-folks' and leave this thread alone. Best of luck to everyone in it. I hope you find the happiness you are seeking.
    I know that's never anyone's intent, but you wouldn't believe the amount of times I've seen Leida getting flack on this forum. Just seems like if someone is honest about their neurosis (yes, we know it is neurosis) everyone jumps on them.

    I can't speak for anyone else but I, for one, am trying to talk about it in a constructive way. Better to talk about it and get over it than just try to "man up" cos' that doesn't work. It amounts to having thoughts of self hatred, and then mentally abusing myself for having them.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

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  9. #259
    canio6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    I know that's never anyone's intent, but you wouldn't believe the amount of times I've seen Leida getting flack on this forum. Just seems like if someone is honest about their neurosis (yes, we know it is neurosis) everyone jumps on them.

    I can't speak for anyone else but I, for one, am trying to talk about it in a constructive way. Better to talk about it and get over it than just try to "man up" cos' that doesn't work. It amounts to having thoughts of self hatred, and then mentally abusing myself for having them.

    I understand your point and I in no way wish Leida anything but the best but being completely honest it gets to be rather infuriating. Many people here would cut off a leg to look half as fit/healthy as Leida. It is much like when you spend 50 hours a week studying to improve your grade from a D to a C, while the valdictorian goes "Oh, I am so dumb. I only got a 97 on that test! What a failure I am."

    Certainly Leida, you, me, or anyone should feel free to talk about our neurosis, issues, struggles, triumphs or whatever, but the flip side of that is when a healthy weight person refers to 130ish pounds as 'tonnage' she has to expect those busting their (significantly larger asses) to get to <whatever weight> to say "Wait a f*cking minute..." That is just the nature of the beast.

  10. #260
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    but the flip side of that is when a healthy weight person refers to 130ish pounds as 'tonnage' she has to expect those busting their (significantly larger asses) to get to <whatever weight> to say "Wait a f*cking minute..." That is just the nature of the beast.
    Yes, the hate speak is sucktastic.

    By all means, talk about how to get leaner, harder, better. But can the hate speak.

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