Yeah.... that's sad.I also have a theory that this is why some women have EDs - they fear the womanly curves or fear the attention they would get if they were at their ideal weight.
But here's the deal. Everytime someone with a good body says "I'm fat and need to lose weight" because they are afraid that their tits and ass might attract male attention, another woman hears them and says "shit, I guess I'm fat too".
The whole reason we should give a shit about being attractive is to attract and keep a mate. Now I know that I am not every guys cup of tea. If you like long and lean, keep looking. But let's just say that enough guys find me attractive to insure I will have a mate.
Somehow, the media has decided that "attractive"= the tall slim models that are generally selected by men with no interest in mating with women to show off garments. Why the hell would you want to have the body of a 14 year old boy? Go to your average beach and the coathanger girl looks like shit in a bikini because 9/10 times her ass doesn't fill the bottom.
Yeah, there is that 2% of women that is tall, lean with curves in all the right places. They can date the tall lean men with muscle in all the right places. I know for damn sure all the dieting in the world is not going to make me look like that.
So what it comes down to.... is we have all these women who are size 0-8 that if they take 2 minutes into thinking about their clothes can look amazing..... calling themselves fat asses because they either 1. don't look like the 2% or 2. don't look like a 14 year old boy. If you are dieting to in essence, make yourselves LESS attractive to men, then at least just say "yeah, I hate it when I have tits and ass because dudes hit on me" (or just eat and wear baggy khaki capris and an oversized shirt). If you are dieting because you hate yourself, just say "I starve myself to punish myself". Whatever you do, don't say you are dieting because you are fat and ugly.
I think we owe it to the next generation of women to straighten this body image shit out. What we say to girls is "Hey, if you don't look like a 12 year old boy, you are fat and will never find a mate, go hide until you are 2, preferably with long thin legs." I mean seriously, there are a couple of your I'd like to bitch slap because if you are "fat and flabby and ugly", then I'm the town heifer.
Above all, on this site, this is about a healthy lifestyle and building a healthier self. If you can't lose anymore weight without doing crazy shit, you either need to see a doctor OR you need to recognize that your body is at a healthy weight and you get to make the most of it. Don't just sit here and bitch about losing 10 more pounds so you can be a 0 instead of a 4 and have Giselle's thighs because yours are "fat". If you just are unhappy because of past abuse, then go get some counseling and work towards a life of joy that doesn't involve punishing yourself because some guy was a douchebag 10 years ago.
Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
Starting squat: 45lbs. Current squat: 160 x 2
LOL, try heels. Try like a platform or a wedge. You have shapely legs though, you could probably wear cute flats.Can I wear it with non-high-heels, though? I can't wear girly shoes.
No vibrams or sneakers or birkenstocks or crocs.
I managed to gain 1.2 pounds overnight. How? I don't know. In one night I undo 3 weeks of work by having a glass of wine, I guess. I'm tracking on myfitnesspal and I wear a fitbit constantly and track everything. I sleep properly and never have trouble sleeping, I exercise 5 mornings a week, I walk at least 30 minutes a day, blah, blah, blah. I'm so desperate that I want to go back on phentermine so I can starve the weight off again even though I know it's only a temporary solution. Being 195 pounds and 5'6" SUCKS.
Sorry for the rant... I guess I'm just having a bad weight day. Sadly, most of my days are bad weight days.
My passion: The KW Collection - Handmade Jewelry
I don't really care what males or anybody else think of my body and I have never been hit upon by males, excessively or otherwise. I did not think I'd get married at all till I did. I feel that on the inside I am a slightly awkward, bookish, clumsy and slim figure of an old maid. I look in the mirror and I see a chubby matron who fits right in with milking cows and trading gossip by the water well, while holding buckets full of water and a couple of toddlers aloft. I don't think my misgivings about my body root in the present stuff, they are leftover from the 19th century... Sure, you have had the robust Scarlette O'Hara here, but I was nurtured on Dostoyevskiy and Turgeneyev, and I can't recall one book I have read as a teen where the protagonist was of a sturdy built. Brienne of Tarth was the first woman character I have encountered which was unequivocally not skinny, but look at all the shit she goes through. Maybe she gets to get the most interesting male in the book, but hey, that's just a fool's hope.
I don't want to lose weight because I want to attract a mate. I simply want to look like I feel inside.
I strongly disagree that the need to feel beautiful is about finding a mate (attractive is). I think it's intrinsic to want to find your reflection beautiful.
I also dunno who it helps for one to beat her feelings into submission somehow and keep them hidden. It's like telling a B student that it's shameful to voice the aspirations for getting an A, because folks with C's might take it amiss.
Last edited by Leida; 06-13-2013 at 08:26 AM.
My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.
Journal on depression/anxiety
Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).
Leida.... are you saying Scarlett O'Hara was "robust" or somehow a "larger" woman? She ended up damn near starving at one point in the movie, but was petite to begin with. So you look at those photos of Vivian Leigh and would feel large if you looked like her?you have had the robust Scarlette O'Hara here
scarlett Ohara - Bing Images
Leida.... I hope that if you have daughters or young women that look up to you, that you are more kind to them than you are to yourself about their bodies.