I totally know what you mean Leida. The problem for me is consistency. If I work out / diet, I do see results, but energetically I can't maintain any kind of strict regime, and I end up crashing, which "undoes" what I've been doing.
The journey I've gone on with Primal has taught me that I can look in the mirror and hate what I see, or I can start giving myself a break. For some people, striving for perfection just brings endless sadness.
If you're deep and sensitive, with conflict interlaced through the fabric of your soul, then focusing on the body is often an attempt to control what lies within. This is tantamount to torture, because you are denying so much of yourself.
So, I'm going shopping tomorrow, and I'm going to buy clothes in a bigger size. A little landmark.
"I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.
In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."
- Ray Peat