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Thread: Sanity and weight loss page 13

  1. #121
    magnolia1973's Avatar
    magnolia1973 is offline Senior Member
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    I've seen women profiled that look larger and less tight than you do.

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  2. #122
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbhikes View Post
    I know a lady who got 40 years for not doing enough to prevent someone else from committing murder. She's still in prison and so are you, Leida.
    Sad and well said...
    Breathe. Move forward.

    I just eat what I want...

  3. #123
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    I dunno, I feel like I am leading a less ascetic lifestyle now, allowing myself to sleep in on some days, skipping the gym in favor of the garden or other chores, not counting too often, not measuring the inches, and eating fruit. I figure if this outweighs the benefits of dropping back to normal weight, I will eventually naturally stop hoping.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  4. #124
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    sbhikes is online now Senior Member
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    Some thoughts I have had today:

    This morning I did 3 sets of 10 pushups! Awesome! I couldn't do a single pushup a few months ago. Next time I'll do sets of 11.

    Before lunch, I'm on my way to the food coop, I think to myself, hey, I'm not actually hungry. Maybe I'll take a walk instead.

    On my walk I thought about how I should keep noticing when I'm not hungry. Because by not ever noticing, I seem to have convinced myself that I am always hungry. Noticing more often when I'm not actually hungry seems to be sinking in to my brain that maybe I'm not a gluttonous beast.

    As I walked, an annoying young guy came up behind me on a skate board and complimented the color of my shirt. I could tell when he saw my 48-year old face he wasn't expecting to be complimenting an old broad. Ha ha, he must have seen my squats-sculpted ass and thought I was sexy. Good for me.

    I thought about my Oly class weight lifting videos. I actually did Olympic weight lifting. Someone told my boyfriend, "Dude, you better lift some weights because she's is going to beat you up". Ha ha. It's not true, but I still feel awesome for having taken every step to get where I am today.

    Since I have been focusing more on the now and on what I am capable of instead of what I look like and how I compare to others, I have felt a lot better about myself.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Highest squat: 167.5 x 2. Current Deadlift: 190 x 3

  5. #125
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    I have been through each of those things sbhikes, and it all wore thin. I exhilarated in my lifting and how many pull-ups I can do, and how I feel different about food, and that I ran a cool ran with dropping for push-up sets for the total of 100 push-ups, and when I earned my certification with the local Fitness association and taught my first class, when the staff in our super-busy rec centre started recognizing me, how people on the beach would comment to my husband if he knew where his wife was swimming and he'd reply casually that she can cover few clicks no pro... and all that was temporary, and stop being novel.

    And it became disheartening and almost pointless when lifting (or running or swimming or whatever) progress stopped and stalling continued for months and now years on end. Athletic ceiling is a bitch.

    It is hard to go on without a tangible reward.
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

  6. #126
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leida View Post
    I have been through each of those things sbhikes, and it all wore thin. I exhilarated in my lifting and how many pull-ups I can do, and how I feel different about food, and that I ran a cool ran with dropping for push-up sets for the total of 100 push-ups, and when I earned my certification with the local Fitness association and taught my first class, when the staff in our super-busy rec centre started recognizing me, how people on the beach would comment to my husband if he knew where his wife was swimming and he'd reply casually that she can cover few clicks no pro... and all that was temporary, and stop being novel.

    And it became disheartening and almost pointless when lifting (or running or swimming or whatever) progress stopped and stalling continued for months and now years on end. Athletic ceiling is a bitch.

    It is hard to go on without a tangible reward.
    I would focus on just living a healthy lifestyle rather than the results. Eat healthy, get the exercise you enjoy, perhaps take up meditation, then focus on things that are really important to you. A healthy lifestyle is the foundation for a well lived life, once you have established a healthy lifestyle then you need to focus on and set new goals and find purpose to your life.

  7. #127
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leida View Post
    I have been through each of those things sbhikes, and it all wore thin. I exhilarated in my lifting and how many pull-ups I can do, and how I feel different about food, and that I ran a cool ran with dropping for push-up sets for the total of 100 push-ups, and when I earned my certification with the local Fitness association and taught my first class, when the staff in our super-busy rec centre started recognizing me, how people on the beach would comment to my husband if he knew where his wife was swimming and he'd reply casually that she can cover few clicks no pro... and all that was temporary, and stop being novel.

    And it became disheartening and almost pointless when lifting (or running or swimming or whatever) progress stopped and stalling continued for months and now years on end. Athletic ceiling is a bitch.

    It is hard to go on without a tangible reward.
    That's silly. Surely you keep doing new things in life, keep life an adventure and move on to new things to learn, don't you?

    Life is too short to just wallow in self-pity. You have to find your successes where you can and celebrate them. It's the only way to move forward in life.

    So I shared my thoughts today because on the topic of sanity and weight loss my personal insanity is to eat too much and to think I'm ugly and fat (I've only been told I am my entire fucking life, first by my parents and grandparents, then by schoolmates and then by myself). So I have been consciously trying to shift my focus away from those things and toward what I can do and how I feel.

    That you think doing a few pushups is a not a worthy achievement anymore doesn't mean you are so far advanced and beyond me I can't possibly understand what you are going through. This is my achievement. It's pitifully small, I know that. I celebrate it anyway. You need to find your own things to celebrate.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Highest squat: 167.5 x 2. Current Deadlift: 190 x 3

  8. #128
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    Or.... if all else fails, every time you feel bad because you don't have a hard body pretend that the person you are bitching to lives in war torn Afghanistan, has to wear a burkah and is not eating so her kids can have food. The next time you feel shitty because you only did 100 push ups, think of the soldier who got his arms blown off.

    Athletic ceiling is a bitch.
    No. Homelessness is a bitch. Being abused by your spouse is a bitch. Cancer is a bitch. Living in North Korea is a bitch. Not being able to increase your swimming pace, bench press or 5K is not a bitch.

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  9. #129
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    I would hate to get to the end of my life and realise I spent my best years worrying about my appearance. Life is short, and this life may be all there is.

    I'm 28 and have agonised about the way I look for as long as I can remember. I am now actively trying to change my priorities and realise that my weight has nothing to do with my happiness or my self worth.

    Leida I really feel for you, with what you are saying, but perhaps you need to really prioritise loving yourself no matter what? It won't change over night, you're not suddenly going to be happy with yourself, but this is something that needs to be ACTIVELY worked towards. I know how hard it is to let go of the body angst - but really, will you be happy when you lose that 15lbs? Will it be enough? Or once you get to that weight, will you focus on a different flaw? Perhaps you will notice a new wrinkle, or decided you don't like your nose? This is my own concern - that when I reach ,y goal weight I will still be unhappy with my appearance, and either want to lose more, or start stressing about some other part of my phsyical appearance.

    BUT, what if, instead of being happy when you reach your goal weight, you could be 100% happy and not have lost any weight at all? If you could snap your fingers and be genuinely happy and confident in your own body, would it MATTER that you still had 15lbs to lose?

    For me, if I could snap my fingers and be happy at my current weight and appearance, I would do it in an instant. Even if that meant I lost all motivation to ever lose another pound.

    I read this book earlier in the week, from www.eatingless.com , and whilst I am no where near cured, it really opened my eyes to the negative thought processes that are damaging me. It was only like, $10 on kindle.

  10. #130
    Leida's Avatar
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    I am pretty happy with all my other achievements, immigration, degrees, family, job - everything I've wanted, I've earned. Except for the control of my body. I meditate, I have picked a very good meditation sequence from the Cleansing book from all things, pretty neat, about all the good qualities Earth has and so do you....

    I agree 100% that the happiness with one's body right here, right now is the goal of the whole process, but since the magic finger snap is unavailable, and the physical evidence in the mirror does not exactly fill you with happiness, and our mind is very apt at picking on the contradiction when you try to tell yourself that what is not true and creating a conflict. I actually believe Susan Alberts describes it very aptly in her books.

    Empathy, i.e. extending your good will and looking beyond your little circle of problems, is a must in every person's life, and it does help you to appropriately scale your problem. I know that the athletic failure is not the most important thing in my life, and I do not dedicate my life to changing my body. On the other hand, I do not like just going through the motions, I do everything I do wholeheartedly. And I am used to getting some result out of it. A contrast between the satisfaction between the feeling your body thoroughly challenged, and the look in the mirror in the dressing room brings on the duality of the purpose. And, yep, I tried to keep the purpose simple and away from how I look, and yet, it keep re-surfacing. Because it is not true that I don't care how I look.

    Hence the mental trap.

    I really don't explain it well, don't I?
    My Journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread57916.html
    When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.

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