You lousy kids! Get off my savannah!
I'm sure you've tried to talk things through already, so it might be worth considering couples counselling. Would be a waste not to fight for something great.
It's a good point: it's difficult to know how different or similar people would be to how they are now if you removed all the social conditioning. I'd suspect however, that we wouldn't be as enlightened as all that. Jealousy, and the desire for power, run deeply within the psyche. Even dogs experience jealousy (though it could be argued that this is due to domestication).
Also, I think sometimes monogamy is not a social constraint, but the expression of a genuine bond. There are animals who mate for life too.
Saying that, it would be interesting to have a society where everything was allowed, but given how immature our society is it would probably all end in Shakespearean-style tears...
"I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.
In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."
- Ray Peat
to answer the first question: each person in a relationship (however that is formed) should work together to find the right frequency where both parties are happy with the resultant "sex life."
there are so many factors that go into an individual's "hang ups" around sex. when i say "hang ups" i don't just mean things stopping people from having sex, but also things like you describe -- your ex being upset that you didn't want to have sex all day long or whatever is also a form of hang up. THere are cultural reasons, social reasons, personality type what nots, family crap, personal crap, and just general stupidity.
I put myself in this category, yo. I got all kinds of weird hang ups and i haven't met a person yet who doesnt' have something weird going on in relationship to sex.
in the end, you find a partner (or several or whatever) and you work out your shit together. hopefully, along the way you have a good time.
Gotta agree with zoebird here. There's an quote I've always liked:
“We’re all a little weird. And life is a little weird. And when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall into mutually satisfying weirdness—and call it love—true love.” - Robert Fulghum
My sorely neglected blog - http://ThatWriterBroad.com
Also, Dr OZ says men should have sex at least 700 times a year (according to men's health article on the matter).
Assuming a gal doesn't want to do the deed for 12 weeks out of the year due to red tent experiences, that means that "on" weeks would be 16 times per week.
Apparently no one has studied what women need for health. I couldn't find any on google anyway.
Last edited by zoebird; 06-01-2013 at 05:43 PM.
Time is passing so quickly. Right now, I feel like complaining to Einstein. Whether time is slow or fast depends on perception. Relativity theory is so romantic. And so sad.
CW-125, part calorie counting, part transition to primal
GW- Goals are no longer weight-related
I'm not really one to be taken seriously or given any validity to when it comes to this issue, but - and I would probably change my mind if I were actually in this situation - I possibly wouldn't have a problem with my partner paying for a "professional" if we he was dying for sex and I wasn't willing to participate for some reason. To me it would just seem like a business transaction... People pay to have their naked bodies touched all the time (massages) and this would just be a little extra...
It simply studies how llamas ovulation is affected by seminal fluid -- which isn't exactly a study of female, human health. Likewise, it focuses on how the male acts on the female, not what the female is and/or may need independently.