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Thread: So, why men won't lift weights? page 83

  1. #821
    magnolia1973's Avatar
    magnolia1973 is online now Senior Member
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    This is kind of like the Judgment of Solomon. I'd rather lose than be told everybody wins. This ain't the special olympics.
    Hmmm....OK, we will give Mr. Anthony a third for wearing a straw cowboy hat. And enjoying the tux. It's hard for me to do that.

    So that puts it between Mr. Mahogany and Mr. Rug. And the whole argument over Rocky movies makes it hard.

    So tie breaker questions:
    Have you ever removed any part of your body in woodshop?
    Have you ever stitched a gaping wound shut with fishing line and then doused whiskey on it to kill the infection?
    A tree falls blocking your fine lady's drive way: do you A: Cheer for the chance to use a chain saw? B:Cheer for the chance to use your ax? C: Call a landscape crew to clean up?
    Do you own sandals?

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  2. #822
    WeldingHank's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    A tree falls blocking your fine lady's drive way: do you A: Cheer for the chance to use a chain saw? B:Cheer for the chance to use your ax? C: Call a landscape crew to clean up?
    Do you own sandals?
    Wheres the option of moving it by hand, so no one has to wait around while I hack that thing up with an ax and build a shed?

  3. #823
    RichMahogany's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Hmmm....OK, we will give Mr. Anthony a third for wearing a straw cowboy hat. And enjoying the tux. It's hard for me to do that.

    So that puts it between Mr. Mahogany and Mr. Rug. And the whole argument over Rocky movies makes it hard.

    So tie breaker questions:

    Have you ever removed any part of your body in woodshop?
    No. I'm intact.

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Have you ever stitched a gaping wound shut with fishing line and then doused whiskey on it to kill the infection?
    Needle and thread from a sewing kit. Cutting lemons as a bartender. Tip of my thumb and vodka. But pretty much.

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    A tree falls blocking your fine lady's drive way: do you A: Cheer for the chance to use a chain saw? B:Cheer for the chance to use your ax? C: Call a landscape crew to clean up?
    D. Try to move the tree with my bare hands. Because gloves are for sissies.

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Do you own sandals?
    Are flip flops sandals? Otherwise, no.

  4. #824
    not on the rug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Hmmm....OK, we will give Mr. Anthony a third for wearing a straw cowboy hat. And enjoying the tux. It's hard for me to do that.

    So that puts it between Mr. Mahogany and Mr. Rug. And the whole argument over Rocky movies makes it hard.

    So tie breaker questions:
    Have you ever removed any part of your body in woodshop?
    Have you ever stitched a gaping wound shut with fishing line and then doused whiskey on it to kill the infection?
    A tree falls blocking your fine lady's drive way: do you A: Cheer for the chance to use a chain saw? B:Cheer for the chance to use your ax? C: Call a landscape crew to clean up?
    Do you own sandals?
    ok lets see..
    limbs...check. appendages...check. my father taught me how to be safe with power tools.

    never stitched myself with fishing line. I have used duct tape on a few finger cuts that should have taken stitches though. then doused my insides with whiskey to fight the infection. a real man only needs 2 tools. duct tape and wd-40. if is moves, and it shouldn't, duct tape it. if it doesn't move, and it's supposed to, wd-40 it.

    tree falls. I cheer for the chance to use both. gotta use the chainsaw to limb the tree and section it out, and the axe to split it for firewood. duh...everybody knows that

    I own 1 pair of flip flops. reef brand. because the reef girls are out-of-this-world hot
    I have a lot of hard miles on my body from before I realized I'm not 100% invulnerable. Now I just think I'm 75% invulnerable. -Mr. Anthony

    Give me a spouse/life-partner who I don't want to punch in the throat when she talks. -Canio6

  5. #825
    cori93437's Avatar
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    Yo... dudes.

    No sewing stuff with sewing kit string. It's a really bad idea unless you are sure it's nylon. Cotton is a no-no and will actually promote infection and poor healing.
    If necessary really light weight mono-filament is best.
    And keep some proper semicircle needles around too... sewing needles are bunk for skin unless you sharpen the tip.
    Reality.
    Keep some superglue gel around, the little individual use tubes. Glue up most of the gap leaving a small drain hole at one end. Use a sparing amount of along one side on the top of the skin, then just touch the skin together. Easy peasy.
    This is a pro tip.

    I've done both.
    On myself, other humans, and animals.
    My first stitch job... my dad's knee from a chainsaw accident when I was like 11.
    Too big a job for just glue that day.
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  6. #826
    magnolia1973's Avatar
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    Alright then, gotta go with Mr Rug as the most straight. Mostly it's because Mr. Mahogany had a sewing kit on hand while Mr. Rug had duct tape. And wow, Welding Hank.... right there in the mix.

    It was a really close competition though. And the actual most important factors could sadly, not be evaluated.

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  7. #827
    not on the rug's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Alright then, gotta go with Mr Rug as the most straight. Mostly it's because Mr. Mahogany had a sewing kit on hand while Mr. Rug had duct tape. And wow, Welding Hank.... right there in the mix.

    It was a really close competition though. And the actual most important factors could sadly, not be evaluated.
    in honor of my epic win (thanks magnolia) I will now grace your eyes and ears with the epitome of straightness and masculinity. you're welcome

    Queen - 'We Are The Champions' - YouTube
    I have a lot of hard miles on my body from before I realized I'm not 100% invulnerable. Now I just think I'm 75% invulnerable. -Mr. Anthony

    Give me a spouse/life-partner who I don't want to punch in the throat when she talks. -Canio6

  8. #828
    cori93437's Avatar
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    Don't I get some man points for my epic flesh stitching and gluing knowledge.

    Skills I tell ya!

    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  9. #829
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    I just came back from the jungle where I was having a giant orgy with the native women. During the orgy a lion snuck up on us and savagely lurched at my throat. I turned around, as the lion was ferociously flying at me with his claws full out, and impaled him through the eye with my 37 inch penis. The lion's body was not heavy enough to bring down my boner, and I just shook him off and continued the orgy. I have made all 42 women orgasm repeatedly. When finished, I noticed a cut on my leg from the lion's claws. I tore off some of the lion's hair and stitched my skin with it, using my bare hands to puncture my skin with the hair.

    I then jumped on my pet rhinoceros, and rode away into the sunset, as the women tearfully watched my massive hairy pecs and my 37 inch penis disappear into the night.

    True story.

  10. #830
    RichMahogany's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Alright then, gotta go with Mr Rug as the most straight. Mostly it's because Mr. Mahogany had a sewing kit on hand while Mr. Rug had duct tape. And wow, Welding Hank.... right there in the mix.

    It was a really close competition though. And the actual most important factors could sadly, not be evaluated.
    I didn't have a damn sewing kit, I used my masculine wiles to coax it from a waitress! But I'm glad to see the rug man win. Proud of you, big fella!

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