Page 81 of 92 FirstFirst ... 3171798081828391 ... LastLast
Results 801 to 810 of 914

Thread: So, why men won't lift weights? page 81

  1. #801
    not on the rug's Avatar
    not on the rug is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    nj
    Posts
    4,032
    Shop Now
    Quote Originally Posted by RichMahogany View Post
    I'm in. Pretty sure I can beat you guys in the beard portion. What are you guys doing for talent?
    dude, give me 5 minutes, and my beard will be massive. that shit grows like a weed. I just hate to have it over the summer. next fall, when hunting season rolls around, the beard contest is on! (Note: hunting is manly)

    as for talent...I could knife fight a grizzly bear while cleaning a bathroom and singing a love song to my woman. all at the same time.

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    I'm happy to judge that contest.
    As much as I'd like to just ask y'all to throw up photos of you shirtless, that isn't accurate in assessing your level of straight. Hmm... my process would probably get me in trouble with my husband and your wives.

    But if you have Zubaz and wear then unironically, you are straight.
    If there is a photo of you with a gun and a cigar, flexing, floating around the internet, and you did that unironically and think it makes you look sexy, you would be right, and very straight.
    If you see a woman squatting and think....mmmm that ass.... you are straight.
    If you see a woman bent over deadlifting and think.....mmmm.... that ass... you are straight.
    If you see a woman squatting and deadlifting and think.... she is gonna regret that when skinny jeans are in style, you are gay.

    I
    how about every time I see a woman, I always think "that ass..." does that count?

    I am going to the shore soon. maybe a shirtless pic will surface here sooner or later...
    I have a lot of hard miles on my body from before I realized I'm not 100% invulnerable. Now I just think I'm 75% invulnerable. -Mr. Anthony

    Give me a spouse/life-partner who I don't want to punch in the throat when she talks. -Canio6

  2. #802
    magnolia1973's Avatar
    magnolia1973 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    3,892
    OK, Criteria:
    Talent:
    You must be able to operate a grill and successfully grill a manly portion of meat, IE something like a roast or a pork butt.
    You need to know how to change my oil. And successfully execute that.
    You need to be able to successfully lift your lady friend and carry her to the bedroom to make sweet love to her. Bonus if you get that she doesn't really like sweet loving. Extra bonus of your lady friend works out and is surprisingly heavy.

    The talent portion should be executed in your most manly outfit. Wifebeaters with oil stains get bonus points.

    Swimwear:
    If you wear a speedo and I'm all... dude, really, gross. You are straight and likely European. If you wear a speedo and I'm all "dayum" you are not straight. But I wish you were. If you wear something that hides your nice ass and quads and a &%I&^% rash guard, you are full on straight. If you ditch the rashguard and have a Farmer's Tan and I'm bummed that I can't see your ass, you are straight.

    Evening Wear:
    If you get excited about evening wear and look good in it, negative straight points. If you look amazeballs in a tux and bitch about being tight around your neck, positive straight points. If in an attempt to not have to wear the evening wear you wander in, pick me up, throw me on the bed and have your way with me, full on straight.

    Interview/Question
    1. Do you like Rush?
    2. I would/would not drive a mini cooper, new VW bug, Monte Carlo

    http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
    Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

  3. #803
    RichMahogany's Avatar
    RichMahogany is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    7,188
    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    OK, Criteria:
    Talent:
    You must be able to operate a grill and successfully grill a manly portion of meat, IE something like a roast or a pork butt.
    You need to know how to change my oil. And successfully execute that.
    You need to be able to successfully lift your lady friend and carry her to the bedroom to make sweet love to her. Bonus if you get that she doesn't really like sweet loving. Extra bonus of your lady friend works out and is surprisingly heavy.

    The talent portion should be executed in your most manly outfit. Wifebeaters with oil stains get bonus points.
    Lots of points for me so far. Lady friend just started working out. On a set of squat stands that I built with my bare hands out of concrete and 5 gallon buckets and 2x4's.

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Swimwear:
    If you wear a speedo and I'm all... dude, really, gross. You are straight and likely European. If you wear a speedo and I'm all "dayum" you are not straight. But I wish you were. If you wear something that hides your nice ass and quads and a &%I&^% rash guard, you are full on straight. If you ditch the rashguard and have a Farmer's Tan and I'm bummed that I can't see your ass, you are straight.
    Board shorts and no rash guard. I deduct a point from myself because I can almost still fit into the size 28's from last year and have one pair in size "extra small" that I can still get into.

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Evening Wear:
    If you get excited about evening wear and look good in it, negative straight points. If you look amazeballs in a tux and bitch about being tight around your neck, positive straight points. If in an attempt to not have to wear the evening wear you wander in, pick me up, throw me on the bed and have your way with me, full on straight.
    Haven't worn a tux since prom, but I complain about my dress shirts being tight around my neck 5 days a week. My neck is a 16. See the comments above re: size 28 board shorts.

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Interview/Question
    1. Do you like Rush?
    2. I would/would not drive a mini cooper, new VW bug, Monte Carlo
    1. Who's Rush?
    2. a. I would like to try to flip a mini cooper. Or at least have handles welded to the frame and Strongman deadlift it for reps.
    b. Only if the girl who owns it is hot. Because even in a lady's car, the man should drive.
    c. Only if it's a manual

  4. #804
    Stacy15's Avatar
    Stacy15 is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    607
    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    OK, Criteria:
    Talent:
    You must be able to operate a grill and successfully grill a manly portion of meat, IE something like a roast or a pork butt.
    You need to know how to change my oil. And successfully execute that.
    You need to be able to successfully lift your lady friend and carry her to the bedroom to make sweet love to her. Bonus if you get that she doesn't really like sweet loving. Extra bonus of your lady friend works out and is surprisingly heavy.

    The talent portion should be executed in your most manly outfit. Wifebeaters with oil stains get bonus points.

    Swimwear:
    If you wear a speedo and I'm all... dude, really, gross. You are straight and likely European. If you wear a speedo and I'm all "dayum" you are not straight. But I wish you were. If you wear something that hides your nice ass and quads and a &%I&^% rash guard, you are full on straight. If you ditch the rashguard and have a Farmer's Tan and I'm bummed that I can't see your ass, you are straight.

    Evening Wear:
    If you get excited about evening wear and look good in it, negative straight points. If you look amazeballs in a tux and bitch about being tight around your neck, positive straight points. If in an attempt to not have to wear the evening wear you wander in, pick me up, throw me on the bed and have your way with me, full on straight.

    Interview/Question
    1. Do you like Rush?
    2. I would/would not drive a mini cooper, new VW bug, Monte Carlo
    I'd be more than happy to help you judge.

    Bonus question: Do you own a Harley Davidson

  5. #805
    Urban Forager's Avatar
    Urban Forager is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    2,740
    Quote Originally Posted by not on the rug View Post

    as for talent...I could knife fight a grizzly bear while cleaning a bathroom and singing a love song to my woman. all at the same time.
    I take back anything I might have said that was not flattering..... you clearly are highly talented. Pictures would be nice.
    Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

  6. #806
    RichMahogany's Avatar
    RichMahogany is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    7,188
    Quote Originally Posted by not on the rug View Post
    dude, give me 5 minutes, and my beard will be massive. that shit grows like a weed. I just hate to have it over the summer. next fall, when hunting season rolls around, the beard contest is on! (Note: hunting is manly)
    I'll concede that you've got me beat me on hunting and power tools. (my cordless drill is an 18 volt though)

    I still doubt your beard can be as thick and lush and heinous as mine. I'll believe it when I see it.

    Quote Originally Posted by not on the rug View Post
    as for talent...I could knife fight a grizzly bear while cleaning a bathroom and singing a love song to my woman. all at the same time.
    Hyperbole points for sure, Bill Brasky.

    I fought a bunch of dudes in a cage a couple years ago. And beat all 4 of them (not at the same time). Any points for that?

    Quote Originally Posted by not on the rug View Post
    how about every time I see a woman, I always think "that ass..." does that count?
    It certainly counts, but if you don't do this, you couldn't get into the contest anyway.

  7. #807
    Mr. Anthony's Avatar
    Mr. Anthony is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    2,304
    Oh, I got this.

    I hit all those criteria up there, but can also play the hell out of a guitar. I cut my teeth on good classic rock, but soon learned that being able to play every song girls like on a guitar goes a long way.

    Rush = crappy overrated band with one of the best drummers to ever live.

    I'd like to hit a Mini Cooper while driving an F-650, to see if I could drive the Mini as far as I can a golf ball.

    I'm just as comfortable in a James-Bond tux/high class event as I am camping in a hammock drunk on whiskey, in a spot where no one else ever bothered to hike to.

    Hunting and fishing rule.

    And, this:


    And this:
    Last edited by Mr. Anthony; 06-20-2013 at 08:47 AM.

  8. #808
    not on the rug's Avatar
    not on the rug is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jun 2010
    Location
    nj
    Posts
    4,032
    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    OK, Criteria:
    Talent:
    You must be able to operate a grill and successfully grill a manly portion of meat, IE something like a roast or a pork butt.
    You need to know how to change my oil. And successfully execute that.
    You need to be able to successfully lift your lady friend and carry her to the bedroom to make sweet love to her. Bonus if you get that she doesn't really like sweet loving. Extra bonus of your lady friend works out and is surprisingly heavy.

    I have 2 grilles (1 propane, 1 charcoal) and a smoker which I use regularly to cook all cuts of meat, large and small.
    last weekend I changed my oil and my wife's. at the same time
    I frequently lift my lady friend and carry her to various locations for "sweet lovemaking" and whatnot. and while she isn't heavy (125lbs) she is very fit and athletic and a former college athlete.


    The talent portion should be executed in your most manly outfit. Wifebeaters with oil stains get bonus points.

    hmm...manliest outfit. probably something camouflage. which I wear when I kill animals.

    Swimwear:
    If you wear a speedo and I'm all... dude, really, gross. You are straight and likely European. If you wear a speedo and I'm all "dayum" you are not straight. But I wish you were. If you wear something that hides your nice ass and quads and a &%I&^% rash guard, you are full on straight. If you ditch the rashguard and have a Farmer's Tan and I'm bummed that I can't see your ass, you are straight.

    board shorts. in fact my board shorts are so cool that the 17 year old long-haired surfer dude who sold them to me exclaimed "whoa, solid pair of board shorts brah" as I handed them over the counter to him to check out.

    Evening Wear:
    If you get excited about evening wear and look good in it, negative straight points. If you look amazeballs in a tux and bitch about being tight around your neck, positive straight points. If in an attempt to not have to wear the evening wear you wander in, pick me up, throw me on the bed and have your way with me, full on straight.

    I actually enjoy getting dressed up every so often. and I rocked a straight up james bond styled tux for my wedding. (lemme see if I can find a pic) I hate buttoned collars and sleeves though. I ALWAYS roll up the sleeves of my dress shirts for work, push up the sleeves of my hoodies, etc

    Interview/Question
    1. Do you like Rush?
    2. I would/would not drive a mini cooper, new VW bug, Monte Carlo

    rush. ok band. possibly 2nd greatest drummer ever.

    I would in fact, NEVER drive any of those vehicles. ever. I would drive an actual mini if I had the opportunity to do so, like, in England or something...bonus points for being a car guy, a guitar and /shooter/hunter, bass player, a gun owner, and a phenomenal cook?
    so...??
    Last edited by not on the rug; 06-20-2013 at 09:00 AM.
    I have a lot of hard miles on my body from before I realized I'm not 100% invulnerable. Now I just think I'm 75% invulnerable. -Mr. Anthony

    Give me a spouse/life-partner who I don't want to punch in the throat when she talks. -Canio6

  9. #809
    Urban Forager's Avatar
    Urban Forager is online now Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2012
    Location
    Northern California
    Posts
    2,740
    My vote is for Mr. Anthony!

    Magnolia, you got your work cut out for you!
    Life is death. We all take turns. It's sacred to eat during our turn and be eaten when our turn is over. RichMahogany.

  10. #810
    magnolia1973's Avatar
    magnolia1973 is offline Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    3,892
    You men are SO MANLY and SO STRAIGHT that you don't even need facial hair.

    http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
    Check out my blog. Hope to share lots of great recipes and ideas!

Page 81 of 92 FirstFirst ... 3171798081828391 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •