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Thread: So, why men won't lift weights? page 38

  1. #371
    Slacker62's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by marcadav View Post
    Please don't let the narrow-minded view that can permeate this forum put you off the benefits of living a primal life. People tend to only see things from their perspective. Able-bodied people have no viewpoint/frame of reference to see how their viewpoint or comments might impact people different from them.
    No worries!

    It's just that discussions of what 'real men' or 'real women should be' always get my dander up a bit, and the fact that this is the first thread that caught my attention after joining the forum didn't help matters. I'll either stay here or I won't, I have no desire to create drama. But regardless I'll still pursue the paleo lifestyle as best I can within my given constraints. I'm permitted to work out with two 25-pound dumbbells and do as much cardio as I can tolerate. I believe a real man is one who makes the most out of what they are handed in life, and by that definition I am doing just fine!

    Granted, if I were born with this defective heart in the paleolithic I would be long gone by now.

    But I'm not ready to off myself just yet.

  2. #372
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slacker62 View Post
    No worries!

    It's just that discussions of what 'real men' or 'real women should be' always get my dander up a bit, and the fact that this is the first thread that caught my attention after joining the forum didn't help matters. I'll either stay here or I won't, I have no desire to create drama. But regardless I'll still pursue the paleo lifestyle as best I can within my given constraints. I'm permitted to work out with two 25-pound dumbbells and do as much cardio as I can tolerate. I believe a real man is one who makes the most out of what they are handed in life, and by that definition I am doing just fine!

    Granted, if I were born with this defective heart in the paleolithic I would be long gone by now.

    But I'm not ready to off myself just yet.
    Hell yeah. Work with what you got. I still would encourage you to get a second opinion on whether you can safely lift heavier, because I truly believe in the benefits and I have heard many stories of people being erroneously advised that weight training is not safe by their doctors, when in fact it would be therapeutic for them to do so. But I don't know anything about your particular condition and I certainly can't recommend you taking that kind of risk in the absence of a qualified determination of its safety. But if lifting heavy would truly kill you, it goes without saying that it's not an example of "being a pussy" or "making excuses" when you choose not to go that route.

  3. #373
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    Quote Originally Posted by RichMahogany View Post
    4. Everybody should read this article, and all women should read both of these.
    Thanks! Great article!
    A Lion in Iron: WomenóBe More, Not Less

  4. #374
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    Quote Originally Posted by RichMahogany View Post
    I still would encourage you to get a second opinion on whether you can safely lift heavier, because I truly believe in the benefits and I have heard many stories of people being erroneously advised that weight training is not safe by their doctors, when in fact it would be therapeutic for them to do so.
    Thanks for the nice post!

    Fortunately I've had the opportunity to be seen at one of the top heart hospitals (Cleveland Clinic) and my specialist is one of only a handful of doctors in the country who deal exclusively with this particular issue. The problem is that I was born with an extra thick heart muscle which impairs its ability to pump properly. Anything that strengthens (i.e. enlarges) it even more is bad news. In theory, working out with dumbbells should at least allow me to work on peripheral muscles (is that the right word?) without putting too much burden on the heart itself.

    It's a shame actually because I've got a classic endomorph body type and I'd bulk up like nobody's business if only I could lift heavier weights.

    At any rate, I'd rather concentrate on things that I can do rather than regret the things I cannot.

  5. #375
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    The classic weight training where you go into the gym, blast yourself continuously for 45 minutes (or an hour and a half), then leave red-faced and panting is clearly not for you. But I see no reason why you and your doctor couldn't set up something where you never went anywhere near your max, did short sets, and took lots of rest between sets. Perhaps wearing a heart monitor to make sure you don't elevate your heart rate would be a good source of data.

  6. #376
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leida View Post
    But not even curl??! Hey, I understand the need to curl in front of the mirror. I just don't get not even touching weights. Like my husband won't lift (says his shoulder hurts, would rather go on a treadmill, WTF?). Just don't get it. Is it because it is too easy for men to get decent results? So no challenge? Men too proud to start with an empty bar and overload, decide it's too hard and quit?
    I understand you, it must be frustrating for women when men don't make the effort to have manly bodies, at least at a basic level. A man who wants a good-looking woman should see it as his duty to look good himself. Both for catching a woman and when you are living together. The need to be attractive to each other never ends.

    I feel the same way when I see fat women. Why, oh why do women get fat? When being attractive is her biggest card in the dating game. It is important for men too, but women see men's attraction as a combination of many things, looks but also social status, money, career, personality. All the things needed to protect and provide for her and her offspring. But women are attractive to men primarily because of their looks. It comes from our instinct to find healthy women who can bear children. And because men evolved to be quickly aroused by the visual, as these men passed on their genes more than the rest. The woman needed to display signs of youth and health: slim body, small nose and ears and a non-elongated face (as these grow with age, big eyes, lush and long hair (sign of health), youthful voice and laughter, a certain hip-to-waist ratio, smooth skin ... slim body! It's not so hard, for Thor's sake. Just don't eat those potato chips. I don't.

    But I digress.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Anthony View Post
    America is becoming a nation of sparkling-vampire, everyone gets a medal, skinny jeans-wearing, emo music-listening, whale-saving, Prius-driving, Axe-wearing sissies. Guys would rather talk about their feelings with the girls they're too chicken to ask out and play video games than get under weights that could crush them or learn to throw a proper punch.
    Good description of what we may call "beta males". That means more women for the alpha males, while the betas are off playing video games.
    Last edited by Erik W; 06-11-2013 at 06:18 PM.

  7. #377
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    Quote Originally Posted by Zanna View Post
    My husband won't lift weights. As he is losing weight, he is just looking soft. Not appealing but I think he is nervous to be a beginner at the gym.
    I understand that, there are a lot of guys at the gym whose sole kicks in life come from showing off in gym shorts and tight t-shirts. They clang the equipment together, grunt loudly and shout to be seen. They love to show off when there are men around who have less muscles, the way all men have in the beginning.

    A solution to that is to buy dumbbells or a barbell and work out at home. It is cheaper than the gym and it gives great results. Instructions can be found at bodybuilding.com and in YouTube videos. It works perfectly fine! And you don't have to spend time traveling to the gym and back.

  8. #378
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    Some of us women never were attractive to begin with. I'm still surprised to this day anybody thinks I'm pretty.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    I can squat 180lbs, press 72.5lbs and deadlift 185lbs

  9. #379
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erik W View Post
    A solution to that is to buy dumbbells or a barbell and work out at home. It is cheaper than the gym and it gives great results. Instructions can be found at bodybuilding.com and in YouTube videos. It works perfectly fine! And you don't have to spend time traveling to the gym and back.
    We have all the equipment we need at home, but my boyfriend won't lift or do any other exercise regularly. I've come to the conclusion that it's because he'd be competing against me. I've been seriously lifting and doing various other exercises since last November, and he's been slacking off and making excuses. Now when he tries to do something that I have been working on regularly either he embarrassingly can't, because what I'm doing involves skill that's a lot harder than it looks rather than merely a feat of strength, or he hurts himself.

    Quote Originally Posted by sbhikes View Post
    Some of us women never were attractive to begin with. I'm still surprised to this day anybody thinks I'm pretty.
    Please. I wish I could go back to 40 years ago when I was younger and thought I was ugly and fat. I was so wrong, and I held myself back so many years just by my own attitude about my body. I could have enjoyed myself so much more all this time. People do not see me that way. It's partly seeing yourself through their eyes, and partly what you project.



    You were never unattractive. You are beautiful. Let go of those feelings. Release them and enjoy yourself.

  10. #380
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    Quote Originally Posted by Mr. Anthony View Post
    America is becoming a nation of sparkling-vampire, everyone gets a medal, skinny jeans-wearing, emo music-listening, whale-saving, Prius-driving, Axe-wearing sissies. Guys would rather talk about their feelings with the girls they're too chicken to ask out and play video games than get under weights that could crush them or learn to throw a proper punch.
    This is the greatest quote in MDA history.
    Don't put your trust in anyone on this forum, including me. You are the key to your own success.

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