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Thread: 4 degrees warmer

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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug 2012

    4 degrees warmer

    The name Derpamix, by being so completely ridiculous and stupid, is actually the embodiment for the militant opposition of all establishment.

    I like caffeine, nicotine, and sugar. I'm both narcissistic and modest. I'm a walking cognitive dissonance. I'm both a misanthropic and a humanitarian, and I actually hate everything. I plan to one day escape to an island far off the grid, and use digital currency to fund my many addictions. Oh, and I'm a junkie, who brags about drinking, doing lines of cocaine off hookers and smoking cigarettes. I also eat 300g of carbs a day and weigh the same as a drug addict.

    I'm on a quest for immortality and eternal youth. In the name of science I subject myself to overdosing on untested drugs, which I'll write about here.

    Today's log:

    I awoke at the ungodly hour of 3:00am, where I begrudgingly awake to reality while peeling myself away from the warm embrace of my cats and my 15 year old futon. Feeling downtrodden, I stumble to grab my pack of cigarettes and bottle of whiskey, take a swig, light up the cigarette, hop in the shower and cleanse my body of all positive energies. I shave my face of excess hair, and continue on with my extensive grooming. After this, I hiss, and curse at the rising sun really loudly. I smoke again, and take about 65 different nootropics.

    Breakfast consists of a quadruple espresso shot, more cigarettes, a shot of whiskey, eggs and sourdough toast. As the sun rises, I get into my metallic coffin and head away to the place in which I sold my soul to become a mindless consumerist slave.

    Arriving there, I'm ambushed by a barrage of complete stupidity, and I quietly do my job, waiting for the solitary bliss of my first caffeine and nicotine break. My sanity is tested. After the break, feeling slightly better, until I'm again assaulted by more illiterate progeny while I impatiently wait for lunch.

    Cutting a long story short, I hate my life and my job.

    Stats check:

    Hair: Perfect
    Skin: Perfect
    Temperature: Waking 98.3, mid-afternoon 99.5, right now 99.0 all systems normal
    Cognition: Tired, sleep deprived, and feeling unstimulated and bored. Thought about perhaps tagging the side of a building, but didn't for some reason. I love street art.
    Mood: I dunno lol
    Total calories: 2.5k today, pretty low, but not feeling hungry. I'm dropping weight kind of easily.

    Everyone likes pretty pictures right? I've thought about doing this from the top of skyscraper too:

    And, I'm on an electro kick lately.

    Hi Zach
    Last edited by Derpamix; 05-24-2013 at 09:16 PM.
    Make America Great Again

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