So I'm away from this journal for a couple days, and there are pages and pages to catch up on. So overwhelming!
So you guys ready for some of my dreams?
I was in a place that was familiar to me. I remember thinking that I had dreamed of that place many times before, but I'm not sure if this is true or just my imagination since a bunch of you have been talking about dreaming of the same places over and over again. It was a school. I think it was a boarding school. The buildings were made of gray stone, but the buildings had a gothic look from the outside. The inside was very modern, like most universities. It has four libraries. I was in one of them at one point, but all I remember is that it was very bright inside. I lived on campus.
I remember the setting of this dream well, but the plot is jumbled up. It involved a man and a mean old woman who looked like one of my neighbors (I don't think she's mean in real life, but she's mean in the dream). She told me to put a line in something I was writing and then criticized me publicly for putting that line in. I resolved to write something else that revealed the fact that she basically set me up. The man was a newspaper reporter, I think. We were lovers. I think we were all reporters, maybe.
I was with my friend A's older brother. Somehow we were in love, but a part of me knew that I didnít really love him or that it wouldnít last. I remember being on a bus with him. I was resting my head on his shoulder, and he asked me something. I replied ďIím in love with you now, but I canít say how long it would last.Ē
Another scene: I was with my friend B looking at my closet. He was commenting on my clothes. He picked up a pair of heels (actually he only picked up one shoe of the pair), they were black and the heels were high. He exclaimed about how high they were. He was basically exclaiming over a lot of my clothes. Canít remember exactly what he said, but the gist was that he thought they were hot, provocative. Then, suddenly, I asked him whether he thought A's brother would tell or has told A about us (me and his brother). B said something like probably. And I went into a panic over how A would take the news.
Then A's brother and I were wandering around in the woods or somewhere in the wilderness in the middle of nowhere. We entered a tent with no sides (just a roof) or maybe it was a gazebo or something. A was there. He was holding a large metal plate that had a sharp, serrated edge. His brother tried to get it away from him by tugging at it, and during the tug of war, the brotherís hand was cut. The brother stepped back and away from A, and I stepped in between them, fearing that A was going to try to kill his brother. Then A thew the plate at us, as if it was a ninja star, but the plate flew wide (flew at a wide angle) and missed us. I knew that he never really meant to hit us. The whole time I was talking to A, trying to explain to him. Canít remember what I said exactly, but the sense was that I told him that I really cared for him as a friend. The dream ended with me hugging A and crying. I remember hugging him at least twice, hard and close, and I was crying.
So some background. A is a college friend of mine whom I have not seen for many years. Shortly after graduating, he deliberately cut off all contact with all of us (my group of friends). Ever since then, I have felt that I had failed him as a friend. There is a lot of guilt there, but strange that I should dream of him now. During my last year of college, A and I hung out all the time. He had a crush on me, but I only liked him as a friend. Right around graduation, he told me that he was depressed and was waiting for someone to help him. My own life was a mess. I didn't have a job and didn't really know what to do. At the same time, i was obsessed with someone else. It was all a mess, and I was in no position to help anyone. Months later, when my life was not as messed up (at least I had a low-paying job), it was too late to do anything because he basically told all of us that he didn't want to be friends with us anymore. I have always felt guilty for having failed him as a friend. I don't know where the bit about his brother came from because although he does have a brother, I have never met his brother.
I don't remember this one as clearly.
I was hanging out with a friend at her place. She was pregnant. She asked me to pick her up at a certain time. I think she wanted me to pick her up and bring her back to my place before she goes in labor. So we agree that Iíd pick her up, and I go home. But then I fell asleep. I woke up in a panic, thinking that Iíd missed picking her up or maybe missed her text telling me to pick her up (slept through it or maybe my phone wasnít near me for some reason). I think I woke up right around then and was glad that it was a dream and not real.
I was having sex with two women in a tent. But I had to stop because my dog had run out of the tent, and I had to go and bring him back. So I went out. It was bright outside the tent, really sunny, unnaturally bright. I chased him down and carried him back into the tent. Heís a small dog. I could see his face clearly in the dream. He had white and brown fur. I brought him in and set his head down on a pillow, the way youíd set an infant down so that he would go to sleep. One of the women was mad at me for leaving. I seem to recall not really wanting to have sex with them that much.
I don't know what this is about. I've never had sex with women before. I also would not own a small dog. I'm a big dog kind of girl. The sex scene was not very clear; I don't have clear memories of it, just knew that that was what I was doing.