Oh Derp, your journal is kinda depressing, you know. It's weird, because in here, there is a totally different ambiance--completely different from everyone else's journal. I'm not sure how that's possible since it's just a thread in the MDA forums. Can threads have an ambiance? Apparently so.
Your writing style is also well suited for stream-of-consciousness novels, but I think yours would probably be very depressing.
And I totally understand about the wind. I hated not being able to light my cigarettes back when I smoked.
I have to start keeping a dream journal again so I can remember my dreams better. I've been having some weird ones lately, but my memories of them are so fleeting that I pretty much forget them within minutes of waking up. Then sometimes something reminds me of them again, but I still can't remember them clearly. Usually all that's left is a feeling. The only way I can hang on to those memories is if I write them down right after waking, but my mornings are so hectic that it's hard to find time. *Sigh*
I tried some of that kratom stuff. it's too much like an opiate for my taste. (I dislike opiates--they put me in a stupor that I just don't like. Well, the only times opiates are good is when they put me in that waking dream state, which is pretty cool, but I can't always achieve that. It's more often just a stupor accompanied by mild nausea.) It's supposed to be a stimulant a low doses and opiate-like at high doses. I started low--2 grams but felt nothing. I waited about an hour then took another gram. Then it was an opiate-like feeling, complete with the nausea (only when I move around--again, like an opiate). Don't know how I skipped over the stimulant phase. It did give me vivid and strange dreams though, but I can't remember them now. I think next time I'll just take it right before bed to get the dreams without experiencing the high.