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Thread: q re: OT personal, embarassing matter page 4

  1. #31
    RitaRose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by prufock View Post
    If you are attractive enough to get him into bed, you are attractive enough for sex. Besides, you can always turn out the lights.
    The Boyfriend and I were watching TV when a Victoria's Secret ad came on. Just joking around, I said something like "I look just like that, don't I honey." He replied, "When the lights are out, ALL women look just like that!"
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  2. #32
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    So many men just look "off" these days and it's like men and women are morphing into the same body shape. A lot of middle aged people just look asexual. Are the men you are dating remotely healthy looking? Not to be too much TMI, but when I have sex with my husband, 9 times out of 10, he is hard before I am naked. And I have the same "holy shit, my body looks like hell naked" issues.

    I'd say the problem is with them, not with you. I assume you are enthusiastic about sex and comfortable with it?

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  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by prufock View Post
    "Several studies have looked at the prevalence of ED. The Massachusetts Male Aging Study1 reported a prevalence of 52%. The study demonstrated that ED is increasingly prevalent with age. At age 40, approximately 40% of men are affected."
    Source
    So 60% may seem high, but it's not outside the realm of expectations, particularly if you consider sampling bias.


    If you are attractive enough to get him into bed, you are attractive enough for sex. Besides, you can always turn out the lights.

    The guys probably feel even worse about this than you do.
    I'm 31 and I notice little difference between now and when I was 18, at 40 does something switch off?
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  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by InSearchOfAbs View Post
    I was going to mention the alcohol thing too.....

    Alcohol could have been a factor in only one of the instances. (Usually I'm the one doing the drinking. More on that later.)

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Erik W View Post
    To get back on topic: the one thing guys want to see in a woman's body is a waistline. They will not say that though, because it is too obvious for them to have thought of. A waistline is the sine qua non for a woman's body to look attractive. It doesn't have to look great, it just has to be noticeable.
    The only people who have ever commented on my small waist were other women.

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mr.Perfidy View Post
    I think like an arab or russian is a safer bet. I bet a lot of NYC Primal guys are irritating hipsters.
    I have always found Slavic accents very sexy.

    And while not necessarily hipsters, they are irritating. It's why I haven't actively sought out primal/paleo men.

  7. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Techie View Post

    Say, "Come on in, the door will be unlocked, I will be blindfolded, do what you want"

    And there went my girl boner. Yuck.

  8. #38
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    Really the thing is that like, no one acknowledges at all that there is pressure on the dude I think- just in this thread of course there are how many "of course anyone can point at me and I will fuck them immediately!" male-poster comments. I have a theory that literally nothing true has ever been spoken about the penis, so you should maybe take all that with a grain of salt.
    "Ah, those endless forests, and their horror-haunted gloom! For what eternities have I wandered through them, a timid, hunted creature, starting at the least sound, frightened of my own shadow, keyed-up, ever alert and vigilant, ready on the instant to dash away in mad flight for my life. For I was the prey of all manner of fierce life that dwelt in the forest, and it was in ecstasies of fear that I fled before the hunting monsters."

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  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by kenn View Post
    I'm 31 and I notice little difference between now and when I was 18, at 40 does something switch off?
    No.
    (Has not for my husband anyway...)
    “You have your way. I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”
    ~Friedrich Nietzsche
    And that's why I'm here eating HFLC Primal/Paleo.


  10. #40
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    General consensus seems to be either:

    1) bad luck - this would fall into my general life history of can't win for losing

    2) low confidence on my part - I thought about it and I honestly don't think that's it

    3) subconsciously choosing sexually dysfunctional men - if it's not 1, it's some version of this. I put some thought into it and realized that I've done too well at accepting the conventional wisdom that women my age who are still single must be too picky, even though I know I'm not. It's not unreasonable to want a romantic partner who is nice to you, who you can tolerate being around, and who you want to have sex with. I've been settling for men who are nice enough and not unattractive instead of men who really make me want to get dirty with them. And who I really like and think are cool people. And maybe they could tell I wasn't really that into them even when I was trying to talk myself into being into them.

    Anyway, I'd already assessed the situation and realized what I was doing wasn't working for me. I honestly don't know what else to do but give up, but if the choices are bad sex or no sex it's not really a choice. At least the latter bears no risk. I actually think I have a lot to offer a man but if I'm not getting anything out of it, sexually or emotionally, it's not worth the hassle.

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