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Thread: I'm watching my father kill himself as we speak... page 4

  1. #31
    RitaRose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eKatherine View Post
    With the assistance of my mother's doctor, she put my father on a fat free skim milk and whole grain diet, on the premise that an 80 year old man can never get down to target weight too fast. He lost over 100 pounds and his memory before dying from Parkinson's.

    Yeah, I blame them.
    I agree. Sorry you had to go through that.
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  2. #32
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    ^ These doctors really ought to be held accountable. Criminally bad advice.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Neckhammer View Post
    Sorry to hear. It is sad to say, but family are just as receptive to lifestyle change as complete strangers. Change has to start within. It's like telling someone a hundred times to quit smoking when that person has no plans of stopping.
    Yep, I've kind of given up trying to help him. He's not a bad person in the least, but damn, he can be aggravating at times.

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Take him to a nursing facility and introduce him to someone with diabetes living with an amputation, constant infection and so weakened that a feeding tube is required. Because eventually with diabetes, it starts killing you, even with meds. Miserable way to die. Watching my father go through these cycles and it's heartbreaking.
    Actually, he was talking about amputation tonight at dinner as though he had already decided that it was a forgone conclusion.

  5. #35
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cierra View Post
    All's I can say is that you can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped. That may sound pretty harsh, but it's the truth. How old is he, though? If he's old enough, and you have money to spare, maybe you can get a caretaker for him? I don't know your situation, exactly.
    Funny thing? His girlfriend is a caretaker for people with disabilities and dementia, ect. So he kind of has that already, although from what I've seen, she's a freakin' enabler more than anything. The nutrition aspect of this is not her strong point.

  6. #36
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    Oh, Drumroll. I'm so sorry you are going through this. My Dad just passed away last November at 87. He had high blood pressure for decades and borderline diabetes. Dad never really was a SAD eater, more like a health food CW eater. He bought the whole evil saturated fat thing hook, line, and sinker.

    It took getting taken to the ER with a massive attack of cellulitis in his legs and shooting neuropathy pains so bad he could barely hobble to get him to say to me, "Well, I think I am about ready to try that crazy diet of yours." Direct quote.

    I started cooking all his meals and cleaned out his pantry. Within days all the inflammation and pain were gone. Within a month we had his scary high BP down to 115/75 consistently and he was able to get off of 2 BP meds and the statins.

    He did really well for a while until the damage done on his heart by all those years of high BP caught up with him in the form of CHD. He threw a couple of clots and had some small strokes and it was downhill from there.

    I firmly believe that, had I gotten him Primal a few years earlier, he could have lived another ten years. His Mom made it to 98.

    Hugs. I know how hard it is to try to help where the help isn't wanted or understood.

  7. #37
    Drumroll's Avatar
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    Thanks PB, your support means a lot. But as I said before... I can't help him unless he wants to be helped, so for now, my advice is staying put. Something has to change in his mind first before he'll be receptive enough to take it.

  8. #38
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    Have you read this? Maybe you can take some solace in it.
    Is the paleo diet hard to do? Can you make the change?
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
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  9. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbhikes View Post
    Have you read this? Maybe you can take some solace in it.
    Is the paleo diet hard to do? Can you make the change?
    That's kind of the opinion I have already reached. I am here to help, but only if it is wanted. And it is not. So I can't really do much except let it happen. I am being the best example that I can be for him and if it still doesn't take, then it's on him and not me, that the last few years of his life were miserable.

    I help people IF they WANT the help, not if they don't.

  10. #40
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    The kicker is, it still is "on us" because we're their children and frequently, are the ones providing the care hands-on or financially during their later years.

    I hate watching a parent give up. Seems oddly, utterly selfish but maybe I shouldn't judge. Like you said, maybe just be that best example. And find peace in that.

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