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  1. #21
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    If you have a gluten allegy to the point that cross contamination in a kitchen is going to make you ill, then by all means say "hey, I know you mean well, but this is serious. Like a shellfish allergy, it can make me extremely ill. I wish I could eat some, but I just can't risk it".

    Don't expect people to be experts regarding your diet. If it legitimately makes you or your child sick, part of your life is simply going to be informing people that you have a very serious food allergy and giving them detailed information if they want to cook for you. Most people are very understanding of food allergies, even if they can't cook correctly for you.

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  2. #22
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    If you have a gluten allegy to the point that cross contamination in a kitchen is going to make you ill, then by all means say "hey, I know you mean well, but this is serious. Like a shellfish allergy, it can make me extremely ill. I wish I could eat some, but I just can't risk it".
    It's not an allergy.

    Don't expect people to be experts regarding your diet. If it legitimately makes you or your child sick, part of your life is simply going to be informing people that you have a very serious food allergy and giving them detailed information if they want to cook for you. Most people are very understanding of food allergies, even if they can't cook correctly for you.
    Nobody expects people to be experts regarding the diet. It would be great if people would simply accept a "thanks, but no thanks". But they don't.

    The issue is that people mean well and are inspired to try to cook for you no matter how hard you try to dissuade them. They think it's an easy thing to do, and even if you discuss it with them at length and it appears they get it, they may not.

  3. #23
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    How is gluten intolerance any different from a food allergy? Maybe if you stated it like I state my shellfish issues, people would *get it*. It's pretty damn easy "Yeah, that shrimp looks awesome, but if I get even a small amount of it, I need to head to the ER." Boom, done. People stop telling you to "pick the shrimp out".

    I dunno, someone trying to cook for you is a nice gesture, even if it could inadvertantly kill you. Bitching or being annoyed just seems petty. No one was ever less than gracious about my vegetarianism or shellfish allergy and no one ever seems to take offense at me turning down non-primal foods.

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  4. #24
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    How is gluten intolerance any different from a food allergy? Maybe if you stated it like I state my shellfish issues, people would *get it*. It's pretty damn easy "Yeah, that shrimp looks awesome, but if I get even a small amount of it, I need to head to the ER." Boom, done. People stop telling you to "pick the shrimp out".

    I dunno, someone trying to cook for you is a nice gesture, even if it could inadvertantly kill you. Bitching or being annoyed just seems petty. No one was ever less than gracious about my vegetarianism or shellfish allergy and no one ever seems to take offense at me turning down non-primal foods.
    It's not an allergy, whether you've decided it is the same or not. It is an entirely different immune reaction unrelated to an allergic reaction. That's why some people are allergic to wheat and others are intolerant to gluten. Pretending it is an allergy is taking people further from understanding what is going on. It contradicts what they've heard elsewhere.

    I normally just say, "I can't eat gluten."

    People get upset if you don't eat what they went to a great deal of effort to make just for you. They did reading. They found a recipe. They bought special ingredients. Refusing to eat something that's you know is likely to make you sick rather than making the sacrifice of being sick for weeks is not what I would consider "being bitchy, annoyed, or petty".

    In a sense, being gluten intolerant is a special case, because half the public already thinks you are only doing to to annoy them and "feel special".

  5. #25
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    I wish it was an allergy. Puke, maybe epi pen, couple days later all is well.

    Every time I'm exposed to gluten (even from cross contamination) I have heartburn and other less pleasant digestive issues for over a month. I'm going to have to spend a whole afternoon scrubbing the kitchen once the in-laws leave to make sure the gluten is gone.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by eKatherine View Post
    I understand where you're coming from, but this is also a world where people will bake you a treat to "surprise" you, where they don't understand that it can be impossible to cook a gluten-free recipe without cross-contamination in a kitchen where gluten resides. People get insulted if you tell them in advance not to bother. The issues involved in keeping gluten-free can be complex, and it is not reasonable to expect someone unacquainted with them to be able to cook something safe. Eating a piece of cake somebody used a mix they thought was gluten-free but wasn't can mean being sick for weeks.

    Cooking vegan for a non-vegan is a breeze compared with the challenges of cooking gluten-free.
    Yeah, so what? So they tried to do something nice for you. Just say no thank you. Don't eat the cake. Don't eat the surprise. Say thank you, and if you have to accept the gift, save it for later and either throw it out or give it to someone else. So they get insulted if you tell them not to bother. Well, that's their response and you can't control it even though you have to tell them not to bother. It's your choice to go around life thinking all of this is a huge annoyance, that everybody is in the way and if only they would change you could live an easy-breezy life. Well, you can't live an easy-breezy life. Nobody can. But you can make it easier-breezier by not having a cow over everything you can't control.
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  7. #27
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    I get cake offered on a daily basis, multiple times a day. As above, it's a form of office bonding that is the 'tribal' culture where I work at the moment.

    i repeatedly turn it down, and yet they still keep offering. Because it's not the cake as such, it's the gesture. And that's fine with all of us. They offer (they've included me in the group) - I turn it down nicely (because I appreciate the intention), and we all carry on doing the same thing every day because it's not about Actually Eating The Cake - it's about the give-and-take-we're-all-one-group interaction that happens whether you eat it or not.

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbhikes View Post
    Yeah, so what? So they tried to do something nice for you. Just say no thank you. Don't eat the cake. Don't eat the surprise. Say thank you, and if you have to accept the gift, save it for later and either throw it out or give it to someone else. So they get insulted if you tell them not to bother. Well, that's their response and you can't control it even though you have to tell them not to bother. It's your choice to go around life thinking all of this is a huge annoyance, that everybody is in the way and if only they would change you could live an easy-breezy life. Well, you can't live an easy-breezy life. Nobody can. But you can make it easier-breezier by not having a cow over everything you can't control.
    Sure, you can think it's "having a cow" when people don't want to hurt other people's feelings. Or when they want other people not to go to a huge effort and then get upset and not understand why.

    I'm going to take that soup home instead of eating it now. That'll work. NOT.

  9. #29
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    Quote Originally Posted by sbhikes View Post

    And if you are celiac or have celiac children, never go anywhere without bringing your own food or being prepared to not eat. Expecting other people to care about your requirements when other people live in their own self-obsessed universes is a recipe for constant frustration.
    On the surface I agree with this statement but when we are talking about family members (my mother and mother in law) who beg and beg and beg for your family to come over for a meal at some point you have to give people the opportunity to prove that they can handle it. In our case they couldn't and now we only go for a meal if I am bringing the food for the "sick people" as they call them..lovely eh?
    So don't be so quick to judge harshly. Every situation is different.

  10. #30
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    Quote Originally Posted by dacec View Post
    On the surface I agree with this statement but when we are talking about family members (my mother and mother in law) who beg and beg and beg for your family to come over for a meal at some point you have to give people the opportunity to prove that they can handle it. In our case they couldn't and now we only go for a meal if I am bringing the food for the "sick people" as they call them..lovely eh?
    So don't be so quick to judge harshly. Every situation is different.
    I completely understand. I HATE vacationing with relatives because half the time they will "try" my food and end up contaminating it, sometimes without telling me. This week was the first time I haven't gotten sick around the in-laws, and it was miserable for me because I had to watch them constantly and now I'm going to throw out half the things in the kitchen because they used them without asking me. And I have to scrub the crap out of the toaster oven and all the other appliances and pots and pans.

    It gets old having to cook every holiday meal because you can't trust your family, and you can't get rid of them. Then you can't keep any of the leftovers because they insisted on having gluten rolls and contaminated everything. Now I just take a frozen dinner for myself when I have to visit them.

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