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Thread: Naiadknight's chronicles page 83

  1. #821
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    Thanks, Meaty. Thanks. /sarcasm
    I would rather be a little heavier and still have a job. I keep worrying about paying my share of the bills and such. Husband keeps telling me not to worry, we have money saved up, he's making enough to cover if we need to, I'll be drawing unemployment. But it still feels like I'm not pulling my share. And I'm downright ASHAMED to be unemployment. I know, logically, I shouldn't be, but I am. It means I'm taking help without being able to offer anything in return.
    Manda- I never watch that show, but I'm curious now, just from that one scene.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  2. #822
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    But it still feels like I'm not pulling my share
    NK - *said with much loving kindness* - this is totally the wrong way to think about it.

    You are married and he loves you. Shared sorrow is halved and all that jazz...

    Believe me, you will have many opportunities to pull more than your fair share over the life of the relationship. Don't cheat your husband out of his chance to be a rock for you.

    Plus - since when did money become the only way we measure contributions to the family? I have a wife who works only 10 hrs/week in paid employment. Earns about 3% of our annual income. And yet I wouldn't want to trade obligations with her ever. She is the organized, busy rock who runs a household of 4 kids, one of whom due to her autism needs tons of extra effort and attention. She has actually stated, seriously, to me, "my job in life is to cure Z of her autism". We both know that "cure" may not be possible, but improvement and love ALWAYS are possible. I couldn't BE without her, and Z is the luckiest girl in the world to have her for a Mommy. It ain't the money!

    Please - look in the mirror and behold the special person you are and why you matter to those who love you. Think back on the younger girl/woman who helped parent little sibs when the real Mom wasn't doing the job well enough. That's the prize your husband married - not just an extra earner in the household.
    Never eat anything bigger than your own head.

  3. #823
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    Quote Originally Posted by Joe View Post
    NK - *said with much loving kindness* - this is totally the wrong way to think about it.

    You are married and he loves you. Shared sorrow is halved and all that jazz...

    Believe me, you will have many opportunities to pull more than your fair share over the life of the relationship. Don't cheat your husband out of his chance to be a rock for you.

    Plus - since when did money become the only way we measure contributions to the family? I have a wife who works only 10 hrs/week in paid employment. Earns about 3% of our annual income. And yet I wouldn't want to trade obligations with her ever. She is the organized, busy rock who runs a household of 4 kids, one of whom due to her autism needs tons of extra effort and attention. She has actually stated, seriously, to me, "my job in life is to cure Z of her autism". We both know that "cure" may not be possible, but improvement and love ALWAYS are possible. I couldn't BE without her, and Z is the luckiest girl in the world to have her for a Mommy. It ain't the money!

    Please - look in the mirror and behold the special person you are and why you matter to those who love you. Think back on the younger girl/woman who helped parent little sibs when the real Mom wasn't doing the job well enough. That's the prize your husband married - not just an extra earner in the household.
    +1millionand1.

    you are remarkable, you both bring your parts to the relationship and to the marriage and to the world.

    You are a contributor, life is a balance-you know this, you tell me this. Balance at this moment is something you are working on and it is great! Your husband loves you and you love him and that is plenty for now! <3

    The end

    Manda
    Live Like No One Else

    http://primalterp.blogspot.com/

  4. #824
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Joe-
    I know, it ain't all about the money. And he married me for me, warts and all. It's still a hard thing to wrap my head around. I'm too used to being the rock myself. Having to actually lean on and truly depend on someone, in almost all aspects of my life is a REALLY scary. Every time I've depended on som.... nevermind, that's neither here nor there. I'll try, but it'll be a bitch kitty to do it. It's not a lesson I ever wanted to learn. I'm kinda used to and liking the idea of being self sufficient. But I married him, so I guess I'll try to let him hold his position.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  5. #825
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    I repeat - Don't cheat him out of his chance to man up and be there for you.

    Then he won't hate himself when the day comes (and it will - as surely as night follows day) when he needs YOU. What is happening right now between you two is a beautiful thing and you will look back and realize that this is one of those times that promotes the relationship from JV to varsity level. It makes it stronger.

    Just reading between the lines, you have come so far in life. I understand you like to meditate. So throw this on the meditation fire: what is happening to you right now is on your path for a reason. You can learn from it.

    I wish I was half as self-aware in my 20's as you are. Don't stop - your insight will carry you where you need to go.
    Never eat anything bigger than your own head.

  6. #826
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    Joe-
    Thank you. I'll try. I've had a lot to think about recently, but I have a feeling this all plays into a lesson about relying on others. It's a lesson I need to pick up on soon, because if I don't learn from it in smaller ways, life has a tendency of holding my nose in it until I realize I ain't breathing (making it exponentially worse.) And thank you for the self awareness compliment. You have no idea how much that means to me.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  7. #827
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    My take on the word bitch.
    That and "Thanks!"
    Smile and agree when they insult you. It really screws with their head.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  8. #828
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    And I'm downright ASHAMED to be unemployment.
    Manda- I never watch that show, but I'm curious now, just from that one scene.
    Uh... yeah... that shame I should be feeling about being on E.I should come about... now...
    I think it's broke.

    Speaking of, now that I'm going to skill and my break is also broke, they decided to STOP PAYING ME.
    Their reasoning: I'm in school during the 9-5 working window so I shouldn't be paid because if I did have a job I wouldn't be able to do it.
    Huh?... Isn't the point of me getting E.I was because they leeched a similar amount while I was working, and now that I can't get a job, for the life of me, and am in school the 'getting a job' conditions have remained the same?!

    Fuck you, just so you know, is a very polite Canadian congratulatory phrase.
    Please appreciate the gesture, as it is rare and far in between.
    Thank you.
    "The penis is the male animal-flower, a soft-firm dildo, a warm dream."
    -Raymond Peat, PhD

  9. #829
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Hehe. Nice cover, Meaty. And I hear you on the unemployment school stuff. I fought that in college, then gave up and used loans. I'm now getting my soul back from the US govt for $140/mo. It blows. Like a hurricane.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  10. #830
    Joe's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    Smile and agree when they insult you. It really screws with their head.
    My man Epictetus was 2 thousand years ahead of you on that one.

    Quote Originally Posted by Epictetus (60-110AD)
    If you hear that someone is speaking ill of you, instead of trying to defend yourself, you should say: “He obviously does not know me very well, since there are so many other faults he could have mentioned."
    PS - speaking of your definition of bitch - I have the feeling you are the type of woman I call "small but mighty".

    OK off to finish feeding dinner to the little people.
    Never eat anything bigger than your own head.

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