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Thread: Naiadknight's chronicles page 70

  1. #691
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    I damn near just lost it here in the office. A co- worker was playing a sound clip of their grandchildren laughing and something hit home: My grandmother will never get to meet my children (when they happen.) I know how rare it is for great grandparents to actually meet their descendents, but I was hoping, ya know? That really is when it hit that she'll actually be gone in a little while, not just holding on by her fingertips, but GONE. Eep.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  2. #692
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    cillakat is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    My grandmother will never get to meet my children (when they happen.)
    That moment of realization is terrible. When my 56 year old mother in law was dying of lung cancer, we were talking about how she'd never meet her girls children. One of her girls was 12 weeks pregnant at the time. 7 years after JoAnns death, the other now is pregnant and due in March.

    It's just awfully hard.

    *hugs*



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  3. #693
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    they'll know, just not in a way that we understand here on earth.

    keep memories, show pictures, share stories. the spirit is there. i do this regularly with boog and his grandfather that he will never know.

    ah, shit. more hugs to you, naiad.


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  4. #694
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Thanks, y'all. I keep tearing up over the stupidest stuff and the woman's not even dead yet. What kind of mess will I be after the fact?! Hell, I can't even listen to the song that always calms me down without crying right now, because the last time she was truly happy was at my wedding and I walked down the aisle to that song. I know I should go home and sit watch, but I also know what an emotional and mental strain that'd be on me. I need to release some of this somehow, because I can feel hints of the bronchitis I had when I younger every time I breathe in. It's that cold, tight feeling down in my bronchial tubes. I don't think I'm actually getting sick, I think it's just anxiety and stress.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  5. #695
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    It certainly sounds like stress, Naiad. (Hugs and more hugs)
    My heart breaks for you. Let it out though. Don't hold it in. It's cleansing, somehow. And take some time to yourself to deal with this.
    Starting Weight/BMI: 184/29.7
    Current Weight/BMI: 130 /21.0
    Ultimate Goal: 125/18

  6. #696
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    Awwwww. Babe.
    You're really going through it----but you're stronger than you know.
    And we're here for you <3

  7. #697
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    You know what's funny? I think my thyroid is finally sorted out. I'm actually feeling temperatures like everybody else. My eyebrows came back (with a vengeance, as per family genetics.) My skin's no longer scaly. I'm still shedding like a cat, but there's more hair than there once was (which is amazing in and of itself because I've always had a LOT of hair. Like 2-4 times what a blond should have.) I still have gunk in my throat, but I think that's stress and allergies. I'm still tired some days, but that's more my sleep schedule and stress than EVERY day. I'm eating normally again. I think it was a combo of finding the right dose of levothyroxine, going Primal, and getting on a food sourced multi with full B complement and iodine. But, I did it. My thyroid is acting right again. I'm curious as to what my numbers are now, but not curious enough to pay the doc an arm and a leg for it. I'll wait until my husband's insurance is my only insurance.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  8. #698
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    "...shedding like a cat..." You just described me! I'd wait too (I'm cheap!) I really believe the hair thing will always be, but I do think the multi, the diet, and the supplements have made a huge difference overall. I've added them in at different times too.
    Starting Weight/BMI: 184/29.7
    Current Weight/BMI: 130 /21.0
    Ultimate Goal: 125/18

  9. #699
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    I have found my alter ego.
    Just4: I've always shed. Always, even when I was little and couldn't spare any hair TO shed. If I'm at your place more than 5- 15 min, you WILL find some of my hair later.
    That little bit of a good news revelation is all it took to bounce me back up to my normal self. I'll still be having my dark spots, and it's a long road to go before all this is cleared up, but I'm me again, for the moment.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  10. #700
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Lunch: 1 brisket sandwich minus bread and sauce (read: 3 oz brisket), 1 scoop (1/2 c?) mustard potato salad (the only kind I'll eat), 1 slice cheesecake minus the crust.
    Dinner: Spag sauce w/ Italian sausage over sauteed zuke and steamed broccoli and red bell with mozz stuffed italian sausage meatballs.
    Exercise: 6 miles on bike, 1 bike sprint (wanted to do more but SIL was being a weenie.)
    1) No more wheat. Point blank, the end, do not pass go. yep.
    2) Eat more veggies. At least 30 g carbs, preferably 50 g carbs per day.
    60 g
    3) Sprint at least once a week and PBF as per e-book and WOW.
    YAY! it happened, kinda.
    4) Fight inflammation. This includes:
    A) Getting O3 : O 6 levels to at least 1: 4, preferably 1:1
    5:9, 2 tsp fish oil
    B) Watching and mediating stress. No more stress puppying.
    Aside from that post above, yeah. Then again, I slept most of the day.
    5) Sleep at least 6.5 hrs per night, preferably 8 or more.
    7 hrs
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

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