Naiadknight's chronicles page 596

[naiadknight]

And I'm flying solo until Friday afternoon. Have I ever mentioned how much I HATE living alone, especially with no job to keep me occupied and out of the house? I have lived alone, without roommates or siblings or Geek, for all of a month, maybe 2 in my life. Being alone like this is usually a real test of where my mind actually is, and I don't like tests in that area.
I know, I have writing and blog and jobhunting and P&P prep that should keep me occupied, but just knowing that back bedroom (Geek's lab and home office) is empty and I'm sleeping alone these next few nights is a bitch.
In happier news, I refound my glasses from before contacts. I guess there's not a critical need for an eye exam now, as the glasses appear to be the right prescription, or so close it makes no difference.

[jenn26point2]

I'm not much for being alone either - and that's ok b/c it's virtually impossible when you have kids. Just remember that once you have kids, there is NO going back. So unless you're willing to give up your freedom to do and plan as you please, I would not advise kids. Brad and I love our kids dearly and wouldn't trade them for the world, but it is SOOO much work to do anything - even just going to the grocery store. I often skip going to the store b/c I don't want to drag two kids with me.

That being said, kids do bring so much light and joy to your world that aren't produced by anything else. Their smiles, their hugs, their laughter... the laughter is the best, with hugs coming in a close second. Their laughter makes me want to hug them. lol

Anyhow, I hope you are feeling better soon. I am a grumpy, unhappy, crabass when my sleep is disrupted.

[naiadknight]

Jenn-
I know I'm not ready for kids right now. That's why I was only talking about it as a pretty daydream. We both want kids, eventually, but we're not set up for it yet and I'm not ready to be a mom again. I'm still talking my way through the mess I made my first time around when I was supposed to be a kid. As fucked up as I am, I'm not sure I'll ever be truly ready for kids. I do hear the mom clock ticking every once in a while, but I've got time to repair myself, my financial and job situation, and live my life before it becomes make or break. The way I go off on the dog (rarely, usually coupled with lack of sleep and a foul day of taking it up the ass) for not learning to not do something is enough to show me I'm not ready for kids yet.
I know I need to finish getting dressed (again) and update the blog. I also know I'm not fucknig going anywhere, so what's the damn point, aside from updating the blog?

[namelesswonder]

I don't fare well when I'm alone. I'm still glad that when my ex and I broke it off in college, I got to keep our room in the 8-bedroom apartment and live with our friends, but even just being alone in my room, I was very lonely. I tended not to venture out much beyond cooking, class, and work (and showering and that kind of stuff, but YKWIM). Those are the times that I tend to pick up my hobbies again, though. I'd rather not loneliness and productivity couple together, but what can you do?

[naiadknight]

Both of today's blog posts are up: a blog update and one that actually has a decent pic of Froot Loop!

[naiadknight]

I should probably start trying to figure out how to cook that catfish. Anyone have any ideas that aren't fried catfish?

[Twibble]

...deep fried catfish?

[naiadknight]

That's what happens when you turn me loose on catfish, veggies, and what's in the fridge.
Ricotta Catfish Otono
(serves 1)
2 catfish fillets (~0.5 lb)
1/2 zuke, chopped
1 tom, chopped
3 garlic cloves, chopped
1/4 bell pepper, chopped
1/4 c ricotta
2 tbsp butter
2 tbsp salsa
1/2 tsp paprika
1/2 tsp cayenne
1 lime's juice
Heat butter in cast iron pan on medium, add the garlic. Saute until fragrant. Lay the catfish in the pan. Wait a few minutes and sprinkle with ~1/4 the lime juice and the salsa over the top. When the bottom turns white, flip the fish and add half the veggies to the empty space in the pan and another quarter the lime juice. Wait a few minutes, and dust the whole mess with the spices. Add half the ricotta in lumps over the top of the fish. Continue cooking (progressively cussing and telling it to hurry the hell up.) When the fish is done, remove it and add the rest of the veggies, ricotta, and lime juice. Saute until al dente and serve with the fish.

[naiadknight]

Just spent a solid 45 min talking to the Mother. Felt kinda like talking to a stone wall, but it felt more like crying on the shoulder of someone that just want to let you get it all out without interrupting. I finally found those tears and emotions I've been holding back as well and let them flow. You know those crying jags where you can barely breathe because not only are your nose and sinuses clogged, but the snot's all running down your throat and blocking that? It was one of those. Not much seal blubbering, more just letting the tears fall and talking. I'm not sure I feel better or cleaner, but I do feel a bit more relaxed.
After dinner, probably out of lack of fat and carbs and loneliness, I attacked some ice cream in the fridge. I ate the last 3 bites of a pumpkin pie blizzard and the last quarter of a Ben and Jerry's Dublin Mudslide pint.
Now for the sleep a heavy batch of tears seems to always dictate.

[namelesswonder]

I hope you slept well.