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Thread: Naiadknight's chronicles page 595

  1. #5941
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    Ugh. flu sucks. Badly. Esp since it's of both the intestinal and fatiguey feeling crappy lymph node growing kind.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  2. #5942
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    Don't think it was the flu, because it's gone after laying on my ass most of yesterday afternoon.
    I need to plan out my meals this week, or loneliness will have me eating junk. Geek goes out of town Tues morning and gets back around 5 Friday. I'll also be on foot, unless I have good reason to fill up the car, because my gas light's on and filling it up for shits and giggles isn't an option. I guess I'll be getting a lot of moving slowly in.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  3. #5943
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    Twibble is offline Senior Member
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    I have to go your direction on Thursday anyway, so if you need something, holler. If you need something more urgently, holler earlier.
    Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

    If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

    Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

  4. #5944
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    Eh, neither HEB or meximart are far enough away to be worth that. Meximart's furthest, and it can't be any further than trekking back and forth across my university campus.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  5. #5945
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    I WILL kill that goatfucking dalmation next door. Or the neighbors, either one will solve the problem of dogs that haven't been trained not to bark under my fucking bedroom window. Honestly, had I had just a little less presence of mind this morning, after pounding on their front door and leaning on the doorbell, I'd've put a brick through the fucking thing's skull. I'm generally very much about not killing things (that don't invade my home.) The only reason I haven't drawn a bead on this fuckheaded dog is the possibility of jail time. I REALLY need to borrow a BB gun or paintball gun from someone. Maybe a few trips to the vet or extra baths will convince them to train their useless fucking dog.
    Yes, I'm awake. No, I don't want to be.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  6. #5946
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    Some of the stuff on pinterest almost makes me want podlings. Then I remember I'm unemployed and can't keep a job to save my life and come back to the reality that, with the way my adult life has gone, I'll likely never be in a stable enough position to have kids.
    I know some of this is being woken up at the asscrack of dawn in a rather rude manner, and that sleep would make me feel better if I could get it.
    Doesn't change the depression that arises in times like this.
    I want stability. I crave it. I had a taste of it in college, and a hint my first year here. Something so boring and vanilla to most is like an exotic fruit to me. I want a job I can keep without worrying over being fired or laid off. I may want one that pays more, but I'd take stable over higher pay. I want to know what stable and constant in all of my life (not just family and home) is like.
    I will not choose that dark path.
    I want to cry, bu over so stupid a reason and a lack of sleep? No point.
    I'm tired of being a sounding board with only one person to turn to myself. I'm tired of having to constantly be strong because I fuck myself into corners like this. I want to be able to be weak and cry and get it all out of my system. I wonder if I'm too strong for my own good. If maybe, I'm not meant to hold up everything in my own little corner of the world. I know I should feel more comfortable letting the Mother and Father take all these worries and tears and make me feel better. Hell, I have trouble even letting Geek comfort me. I'm too used to having to be the mountain for everyone else. The idea of the mountain needing support is almost laughable.
    I may come back and delete this post when I get more sleep. It shows too clearly my mental state when I don't get enough sleep in troubled times.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  7. #5947
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    namelesswonder is offline Senior Member
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    Weakness, strength, whatever. You are feeling things, and that's okay, and if nowhere else, this should be somewhere you can express those feelings. I have felt similarly about producing offspring, especially in the times of poor sleep and/or depression. The good thing is, we still have a good chunk of years before producing our own becomes potentially dangerous or just flat out unlikely. It's not a decision one has to rush into, at our ages (nor should we ever). I've had to have that mental pep talk with myself plenty of times. Damn hormones.

    Do you keep a personal/private journal?

    I'm not really stable enough to be of much help right now, I don't think...but I've got ears. I'm not keeping odd hours these days, but just remember I'm out there, thinking of you, and I'm more than willing to listen.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  8. #5948
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    I need to get back to writing in my journal, the handwritten one a very dear friend gave me as a graduation gift after HS.
    The kid thing comes and goes. I'm so fucked up, I don't know if having a kid is a wise move. I know I have time, we have time, even before the rough time frame Geek and I agreed on.
    Trying to think positive about both jobs. I think the env firm may have just chosen their words poorly. I'm honestly not sure on the civil firm. I may have shot myself in the foot by being honest, but I hope not.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  9. #5949
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    Had my primal freak moment of the day. I went to Fourbucks because Geek wanted some. I ask for my drink sugarfree with fewer pumps of the syrup. The young lady at register went to hit a button on the machine, stopped, and asked "fewer pumps?" I confirmed and she asked the manager how to ring it up on the machine. Apparently, most folks want more sugary crap, not less.
    (Yes, I realize fake sugar is probably not my friend right now.)
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  10. #5950
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    naiadknight is offline Senior Member
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    Primal Blueprint Expert Certification
    This week's menu:
    Today- spaghetti squash and sauce
    Tomorrow- Pangasius (a type of catfish) with veggies (broccoli, tomato, zuke, salad, greens, avocado something... some of whatever of that sounds good.)
    Wed- Baked spaghetti- leftover sauce mixed with more spag sauce and veggies, covered with cheese and pepperoni and baked until gooey.
    Thurs- Steak and baked sweet tater and salad.
    Fri- ??? possibly hanging with SWG for Science! with Food! night, or staying home for leftovers

    Or possibly sweet chili salmon, applewood sausage, or leftovers one of those days. I overbought, as always, so this $30 grocery bill will likely last me at least a couple weeks. (Granted, Father in Law brought over the salmon and sausage because they didn't like them, so those were free.)
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

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