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Thread: Naiadknight's chronicles page 582

  1. #5811
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    I'm bored as hell at work today. Nothing to do but busy work. That's unfortunate, because it gives my already stressed brain time to worry and ponder and freak. My anxiety is no longer through the roof, but it sure as hell isn't where it's supposed to be. I'm still tense enough to have breathing problems. What I wouldn't give for a Xanax or something to knock me unconscious right now. Hell, even the hospital might be a better place to be than my job.
    I made an eye appt for Saturday at Wallyworld. I'm hoping it comes out cheap, because I'm really socking away money again in case I get fired.
    In a way (not seriously), I wish someone close to me would croak or land in the hospital. It would give me reason not to be at work and to cry my brain out. I need to cry. Unfortunately, I released just enough pressure last night that I don't have enough pressure left to trip the valve again, so no desperately needed tears.
    I've also idly had manic, suicidal, and risk taking thoughts (running a red light with heavy traffic flow, wanting to spend all my money on a shopping spree for crap I don't need, having to physically restrain myself to keep from punching someone, that sort of thing.) I recognize them for what they are, so I don't act on them, bu that's def not a good sign. I know it's related to the stress at work.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  2. #5812
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    namelesswonder is online now Moderator
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    I can relate to those idle thoughts and the wish for something to happen that could drawn me away from work. Only wanting to get away from work right now, but idle thoughts are definitely not a good sign for me either. Wish I had a solution for ya.
    Journal on depression/anxiety
    Currently trying to figure out WTF to eat (for IBS-C).

  3. #5813
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    The best solution, except monetarily and careerwise, would be to pack up my shit, turn in my letter, and walk out the door, possibly into a local inpatient clinic.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  4. #5814
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    Twibble is offline Senior Member
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    *hugs*

    Should I come over that direction for lunch?
    Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

    If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

    Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

  5. #5815
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    If you want. I know it's a drive for y'all.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  6. #5816
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Scratch that. Geek wants to do lunch.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  7. #5817
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    OK. Maybe tomorrow? I'm supposed to be at the kids' school tomorrow night anyway, so I'll just hang out in Odessa for a bit.
    Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

    If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

    Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

  8. #5818
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Ok. We can do that. Figure out what restaurants are Twibble friendly and let me know.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  9. #5819
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Broke down for lunch. Had ramen with a poached egg and some slivers of ginger. Can already feel the inflammation and what I hope isn't a migraine. I've been craving ramen for over a month. Why the hell do I want such shitty food when I have the good stuff? Well, today, I didn't (had no leftovers and one egg,) but you get the idea.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  10. #5820
    Twibble's Avatar
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    I thought Geek was doing lunch with you?
    Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

    If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

    Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

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