Didn't sleep for shit. Got maybe a solid 3 hrs, and very broken after that. Again, worry over work. I need to clear my head of this. I'm so damned worried after Friday for the sake of my job. I can't afford to be fired, both financially and resumewise. With Boss's mood swings, and what seem to amount to mercurial firings, I'm twitchy. I have anxiety issues as it is, and I just made huge progress on the perfectionist thing, and Boss seems more than willing to break me on both of those. Seems like one of those asshats who makes themselves look and feel better by firing people and going on power trips, kinda like Boss's Boss once did at the city. A PHB. Too much power and not enough brain or sense. The idea of going into work fills me with all kinds of dread. I want to cry my eyes out already today; and I'm not even at work yet. I'm so sick of being a pawn and someone to bitchslap around at work. But in this climate, I take what I can get, especially with my checkered resume. Both jobs I've gotten that I liked, some powertripping clown decided I didn't need to be there. After all I've done for this damn company, I fucking DARE Boss to fire me. I know he would, though, if I happen to make another less than perfect program. No pressure.
I applied for another job Sunday, an engr firm in Midland Sunday. We'll see. It seemed too perfectly written to match my skills and abilities to be real. they prob want me to move to the Houston office or something, even if I get a callback.
I just want to say "FTS. find another whipping child."