Naiadknight's chronicles page 576

[Pebbles67]

I cleaned out my subscription folder over the summer and deleted Lopi along with a few others. I was following too many journals.

[namelesswonder]

I accidentally pruned my subscription folder over the summer hehe.

I'm bored at work too. it's cloudy out, all the leaves are changing. Perfect Fall weather. Get me oouuuuttttt

[naiadknight]

It's still in the 90s and clear, here, but it still beats sitting at a damn desk with all this energy.

[naiadknight]

Alright, since I've befriended at least a few of y'all on fb, and met a couple of you, and this journals long enough to discourage stalkers, it may be time to introduce myself by my given name:
Hi! I'm Jen!
(It only took me 3 years!)
The memory beast is trying to rear its head today. Oddly enough, its not bringing forward painful or bittersweet memories, but memories of happy times, even in my dark days. Memories of laughing with old friends, of Christmas and Thanksgiving and Easter, of Six Flags, of Niagara Falls and Gettysburg and frigid Lake Huron, and smiles and happy times. Something is shaking these all loose. It's even bringing forward the spot of sunshine on Promise Day, a funny lunchtime joke that was oh so not PC.
(I guess I've never used that term before: Promise Day is also known as the day I almost committed suicide. I call it that because, after all was said and done, I used the same knife to give myself a vertical scar where I would've cut myself open and made a promise, a sacred vow, that suicide would never ever be an option again, nor would I entertain the idea. Oddly enough, that scar has vanished. Completely. It was a raised scar and now its gone, some time in the past couple weeks.)
At any rate, yeah. Happy memories, floating to the top like helium balloons. Is this what a world without dysthymia feels like?
ETA: It appears this BC has 5 ug less ethinyl estradiol than my previous one. I wonder if I had too much estrogen in my system.

[jenn26point2]

Hi jen!!

[jenn26point2]

Why does it keep dropping my case to lower in that message?? It's supposed to say HI JEN!!

[naiadknight]

The forum drops all caps messages to no caps, thinking you accidentally left your caps lock on or are trying to troll.

[naiadknight]

HOLY SHIT!
I think I found out why this BC seems to be fixing my problems. Look at this list of things low levels of progesterone can cause.

• Hair Loss- haven't noticed it
• Acne- nope, except under gratuitous stress
• Anxiety- I have enough anxiety for 3 mental clinics
• Dry Eyes- I thought it was the contacts doing it
• Obesity- I've had to fight my weight since I left college. I'm only not overweight through effort.
• Panic Attacks- And how
• Angry or Emotional Outbursts & Mood swings- What, that's not normal?
• Headaches- Yep.
• Muscle Pain- yep.
• Breast or Nipple Soreness- remember what I was talking about earlier?
• Muscle Spasms-I thought that was low magnesium
• Abdominal Gas & Bloating- remember the deadly clouds I mentioned?
• Constipation- I normally only go a couple times a week.
• Low Energy (Fatigue)- remember all that energy I JUST found?
• Sleep Problems Such as Insomnia- no insomina, but I could sleep the clock around
• Skin Problems- dry, scars and wounds healed VERY slowly and appeared inflamed for quite a while,
• Water Retention- "pissing like a racehorse"
• High Cholesterol- gee

Like I said, HOLY SHIT!

[jenn26point2]

Sweet. Maybe you have found your saving grace by switching the birth control... and hopefully by ditching mine, I'll notice these things going away too.

[namelesswonder]

Sounds a little like me, too.

I'm so glad you have those happy helium memories coming up. In the midst of my more recent negative memories, I am thinking plenty about lots of happy things to do with Boyfriend, too. Good memories about our relationship thus far, about plans for the rest of the year, hopes for the future etc. It's relieving, to say the least.