Today really feels like one of those days where I want to put it all down, pick a direction, and start walking. Not necessarily a Fukitol day, but one of those days when I need to get out and away from people and stress. I recognize the feeling for what it is. My mother would regularly act on those emotions and wander off. This was back before cell phones, of course, so she'd be gone for hours on end, with me worrying about her, watching my siblings, helping Dad locate her, and making sure Dad didn't go off the deep end about it. I can feel the tightness in my chest of anxiety and a squelched panic attack. I want ot walk away from it all, leave it in the dust, and go somewhere without pain and stress. I won't, because of how badly Mom fucked me up doing that (who, me, abandonment issues? Nah) and I know my problems would still be here when I get back, except multiplied. Doesn't change the urge.