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Thread: Naiadknight's chronicles page 471

  1. #4701
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    I'm wigging. I have my annual performance review in half an hour and I know I sucked ass the first half of the year (because of my 6 month review.) I'm wanting to assume I didn't do so hot in the last half either, although I tried to do better. I'm thoroughly expecting to get reamed (well, not reamed because that's not either of m ymanager's styles), quite possibly a disciplinary write up. I fail as an engineer. I need another career, because I obviously can't make it private sector...
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  2. #4702
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Wow, that was kinda dramalicious.
    Didn't go anywhere near as bad as I thought. I was harder on myself than they were. This batch of bosses is actually pretty understanding and DON'T want me to fail. I guess Fucking Andrews poisoned the well for private sector there (not to mention an already skewed sense of self- worth.) Crisis averted. Go back to your lives.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  3. #4703
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    Pebbles67 is online now Senior Member
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    Ooooh sorry I napped through your performance review crisis. Some friend I am. I meant to respond to your worry rant as well. Thought I did. I'm losing it. Well, it was a good one.
    Glad the review went better than expected.

  4. #4704
    canio6's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Pebbles67 View Post
    Ooooh sorry I napped through your performance review crisis. Some friend I am. I meant to respond to your worry rant as well. Thought I did. I'm losing it. Well, it was a good one.
    Glad the review went better than expected.
    ^ Yeah, I totally missed it too. Sorry Naiad. I am glad to hear all went better than expected though. Perhaps there is hope for the private sector yet. As for sig stealing...yours has steak in it, mine only nudity. Steak is probably far more popular ona primal forum....okay, I got nothing

  5. #4705
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Eh, apparently, they realized that I did hear what they said at the 6 mo review and made moves to correct the behaviors. As to the worry rant... I don't blame y'all for missing it. there's more than a few rants in this journal.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  6. #4706
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    So, yeah. Reading more Clash of Kings during lunch? Bad idea. I can now only think of that world and hanging cross sections is boring me to tears, when I can think lnog enough to do so.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  7. #4707
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    4 shots of espresso and a cubic shit ton of sugar may have been a bit much this morning. WHEEEEE!
    SQUIRREL!
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  8. #4708
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    Twibble is offline Senior Member
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    So that's what that explosion to the east was...
    Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

    If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

    Twibble's Twibbly Wibbly

  9. #4709
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    I'll never understand my damn emotional brain. Every time an appropriately aged male that I hang with on a regular basis starts showing signs of my normal type (both good and bad aspects), it automatically kicks into mate hunting mode. I try and remind it that a suitable mate has been acquired and it ignores me. The urge goes away after a while, but not in a short enough time frame to keep me from double and triple checking my every move around the friend to make sure he doesn't think I'm initiating cheating on the person I'm with (Geek, in this case). EVERY DAMN TIME I get a close male friend within my specified dating parameters, this happens. I've lost more friends than I care to count this way. They'll read the signals for what they are, ask or act on them, I shoot them down (or, in more than one case, slap them down or cut ties because they acted on them without asking first,) and either they'll cut ties, I'll cut ties, or the friendship will suffer a death of attrition while I scale back the hanging out to a point where I can shut my emotional brain up. I don't get it. I'm very monogamous (I thought), but every suitable possibility for a mate creates this thing. I thought about the open relationship idea, but that's not what this is. I'm only interested for a brief period of time (3 months, I think is the record), and still way more interested in the original partner and not ruining the other friendship, rendering that open relationship idea moot. It appears that my brain seeks variety while not actually wanting it. I actually broke up with a few exes to chase the variety act before I figured out what was going on. I've had this issue since puberty. So... what? I need Geek and a harem of geeky, scruffy, intelligent, decent looking males with anger issues against inanimate objects? That ain't gonna happen.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  10. #4710
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    Pebbles67 is online now Senior Member
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    A harem sounds nice...I have to tell you that the above post really resonates with me and you are not alone. I am married and have been with my husband 21 years. We have created a beautiful life. I have zero intention of ruining our lives to seek fun elsewhere.

    BUT I have been having a real issue like yours. Now that I am getting male attention again for the first time since I was in my
    20's, I have all kinds of new feelings to deal with. I feel beautiful and sexy and I honestly enjoy the attention. There are three men in my daily world that I would get with if I were free. I have the desire to flirt mercilessly with them and find myself thinking about what it might be like. Then, realizing that I have gone too far, I pull back and it seems weird to them and me.

    Before I met my husband, this type of behavior got me into a lot of trouble. I would jump into and out of relationships often and I got a bad reputation. For me it was all tied up in self esteem. (Not saying that this is your problem)

    I wonder sometimes if I can trust myself. What if I get pissed off at my husband (happens a lot after 21 years) and do something stupid? I guess I have to believe that deep down I am not that girl anymore and I will do the right thing or not do the wrong thing.

    Attraction is a very powerful and strange thing. I have no easy answers as to how to deal with it. Sorry.
    Last edited by Pebbles67; 03-04-2012 at 06:29 PM.
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