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Thread: Naiadknight's chronicles page 436

  1. #4351
    naiadknight's Avatar
    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    Lunch: salad- chix tit, avocado, red onion, spring mix, iceberg, bleu cheese, bacon, parm/ garlic vinaigrette.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    SWG is ok (well, he's much better than he was). He wasn't responding because he had checked himself into a psych ward.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  3. #4353
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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    SWG is ok (well, he's much better than he was). He wasn't responding because he had checked himself into a psych ward.
    Good for him. Whew

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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    SWG is ok (well, he's much better than he was). He wasn't responding because he had checked himself into a psych ward.
    Wow! Glad he's working on himself then.
    Georgette

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    Quote Originally Posted by naiadknight View Post
    SWG is ok (well, he's much better than he was). He wasn't responding because he had checked himself into a psych ward.
    What a relief! Not only is he not going to harm himself, he's seeking help. Awesome for SWG!
    Motherhood: When changing from pj pants to yoga pants qualifies as 'getting dressed'.

  6. #4356
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    naiadknight is online now Senior Member
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    Sooo looking forward to dinner tonight. We finally have air conditioning and, therefore, the rest of our house back, which means we can cook again. Tonight is homemade spag sauce that'll have been in the crockpot for 18 hrs by the time we eat it and zuke noodles. I'll figure out lunch when I get that far.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

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    Yay for AC!!!!
    Georgette

  8. #4358
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    Yay for homemade spag sauce!
    Most people don't realize how much energy it takes for me to pretend to be normal.

    If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I'd fart.

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  9. #4359
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    Had a panic attack at lunch, came home early. Panic attacks are not my friend and are evil and should be destroyed. This is the first one I've ever had where my distaste for large crowds got the better of me, which unnerves me more than the panic attack itself did. I should control my emotions, not the other way around, especially when it comes to idiot people who wouldn't know personal space if it jumped up and bit them in the ass.
    Abt to start prep on zuke noodles for dinner, if I can convince my head that the blade on the mandolin is friend, not foe.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

  10. #4360
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    Had spag last night with zuke noodles.
    Still kind of dazed from yesterday, and a bit depressed. I need to get this med taken care of quick. (I'm on Ortho Tricyclen, the stupid pharmacy filled it as OTLo, which is a large part of what's been fucking with my head and body this month. I've been on the full dose of 5 years now, I don't need some ijit pharmacist deciding "that should be Lo, dere.")
    I've also been thinking about what happened yesterday. I think the crowd was the straw that broke the camel's back, in this case, and there was a whole host of other causes for this. I still feel guilty over not being able to control my emotions enough to stave off the panic attack, and I definitely feel at odds with myself over feeling guilty for something I didn't/ couldn't control and simutaneously trying to bury it and deal with it before I can bury it.
    This occurrence also undid some of my mental conditioning that I need to repair NOW. Somehow, the panic attack or the atermath broke the link that makes suicide a nonoption. I can still see my reasoning behind it being a nonoption, and thankfully I'm not deep enough for it to be an issue, but somehow, the link between my reason to not do it and the action itself got broken. Because of what the reasoning itself is, that's technically a good sign, but I still need to revert ithe action back to a nonoption. Just another day in my fucked up head...
    When I snapped yesterday, something else snapped as well: my wall against the depression. I need to just quit the damn birth control until I can get the correct dosage, but I'm afraid that doing that would send me even deeper, and with that link broken, I can't afford to go any deeper. If any anti depressants actually worked on me, I'd happily take them for a while until I could make suicide a nonoption again and get myself back from the darkness. Like I said, something snapped. It wasn't just a wall, it was more like a rubber band holding everything together that had been stretched past it's breaking point a long time ago and finally broke, came whipping lashing tearing through my psyche, unleashing a bunch of stuff along the way.
    I'll figure it out. I just need to stuff the monsters back in the cage and forge another link for the nonoption.
    "No fate but what we make"- Sarah Connor, Terminator 2
    Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, steak in one hand, chocolate in the other, yelling "Holy F***, What a Ride!"
    My Primal Battle Tome

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