I absolutely think that the fact that I'm at home 80% of the time, means my full time "job" is revolved about food and what the next adventure is, in order to get some health. I do have other hobbies, but food is the only thing that is going to keep me alive/energetic so I think it's in my best interest to have some involvement as to why I make the choices I do. (But yes, I take it a bit too far.)
I think now that after almost a week of 'Diet Recovery 2', I want to change the way I look at food. I should just look at all food as options and eat whatever the moods strikes, and forget about any consequences.
In a reply above, I mentioned how I think my mentality needs to escape the "diet recovery" (I think you did too after a month), and just eat the food as fuel and to heal, because at last I'm not starving myself and macronutrients. I read "diet recovery" and I think that it's the best idea ever because everything Matt write seems to be almost the opposite of what I've followed in the past, so it must work, right! My ED is also stemming from a diet plan which has every recipe and snack pre-prepared to a schedule and program that is supposedly going to make me better/happier/healthier. It is indeed another obsession - I find myself re-reading the eBooks just to see if what I'm doing is "correct" and whether my symptoms will clear up if I continue.
I think that being sensible about food is the best approach, obviously more whole food is appealing (fruit) Truthfully, I think my ED is also because of the obsessions of those people whom first got me in to wanting to be healthy in the first place. I feel like because they have it all planned out in terms of weekly meal plans (which I obsessed about big time) that that kind of organisation means better recovery or something.
It's like I need someone to plan out my meals or what I should eat in any given day and in which quantity. Not that I expect anyone to do that, but I'm stuck on following whatever meal plan someone gives. Hmmm, strange.
Tomorrow is suppose to be another(!) good day here in England. I'm thinking fuck it, pack a bag and get the fuck out of the house.
Thank you my friends!