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  1. #1191
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    So, I take it back... I am fucking STARVING. Actually that's an exaggeration but I am pretty hungry. Guess my body just realized that I didn't eat for four days. Also I've been eating fair amounts of sweet potato which I'm coming to conclude may not satiate me as much as other foods and leads to water retention which is gross.

    My digestion and bloating are not great. I'm back off the aloe vera agaon. I think they only work if you drink half a gallon of water with them... I haven't experimented enough to be sure.

    Had a few anxious dreams last night
    -- My mom decided to fly me and my friends to Hawaii for my 21st birthday (belated, I suppose) and gave me 1000's of dollars in cash to spend while there. Instead of being ecstatic, I had a breakdown asking her why on Earth she would send me some place I'd have to wear a bikini in front of my friends (because of my belly bloat). it was a odd mix of people there to be certain but Yoyo was one of them and she was trying to console me! I've been trying to ignore the bloating and just get on with my damn life but obviously it still upsets me quite a bit.
    -- My friend Bert and I were in the garage of my childhood house. He wanted to have sex but I said that would be unfair to my best friend because she has feelings for him. I went upstairs to the bathroom and meanwhile my mom came home and I heard her kick him out even though there was absolutely no basis for it. Surely he was just sitting on the couch or something. She stormed into the bathroom while I was occupying it to lecture me. She brought up the fact that my friend Kyle had been over not the night before and what was I, some sort of harlot? Truth was Kyle and I were just out on the porch talking. I hadn't done anything with either of them but nevertheless she said my behavior was disconcerting. I told her what was "disconcerting" was that she was in the bathroom while I was trying to pee! (i enjoy being a smartass even in my dreams). This one needs no real interpretation. Those things did happen (except for my mom coming into my bathroom...) but with different people. I might have more guilt than I allow myself to feel.

    I also had a miniature crisis yesterday involving my future, since I'm already sharing. Hopefully some of you will have wise words for me... I've already said that I will refuse to spend my life in an office, which is fine. But I feel I've wasted time. I think I wasted time with my degree by studying something just for the sake of studying it, for the sake that it would "look good" on a resume, not because I actually wanted to pursue it for the long term. I know it's never too late; I could pick up and start doing what I want to do tomorrow if I felt like it; there are no paths, no roads we have to take. Anyone who says so is full of fear. I think I might be full of fear.

    My entire childhood I thought I wanted to work with animals and I did work with horses for many years (in addition to riding them for competition). My last couple of years of riding were terrible, however. I had serious issues with my trainer and her approach, I had issues with my horse at the time and a lot of regret that followed in how I had treated him. I was also depressed for other reasons during my last few years of high school which all interplayed. I went off to college thinking I never wanted to ride again, never wanted anything to do with animals, even (besides pets) and put it all out of my mind.

    Fast forward to last summer, I wound up working at the riding academy I had began at as a kid working for the school horse coordinator. Essentially I was responsible for about 30 horses and all of the kids that took lessons on them. My main tasks were essentially looking after the horses' health (including medical administration) and teaching the children safe practices. I also helped out with a volunteer program they do during the summer which involves taking underprivileged, inner-city kids out of their shitty environments and teaching them how to ride. The owner of the stables also had me training some of the newer arrivals (most of them mustangs) to be safe for the kids to ride.

    It was physically demanding, hot, etc. but I loved it. During high school I had worked for my trainer as her assistant doing much of the same work and remembered how - even though it was brutal, exhausting, and resulted in some injuries - I loved doing that as well.

    So it all has me thinking about what I really want to do. My mom is the senior vice president of a large company, my sister puts on concerts at the White House and plans parties on Yachts in Cannes.... But my mom doesn't care what I do; she doesn't pressure me to follow any path and I feel no desire to follow in anyones footsteps, but she does pressure me to do something she deems valuable, like going to grad school. I really do appreciate her wanting what's best for me, but I wonder if others cloud my judgment.

    I don't know. I really don't know. I have no idea. This was just a rant and a really long one at that which wasn't my intention.

    Orz
    Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

  2. #1192
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    ^ Well that was weird

    Anyway, something I am now a little more certain about is that starches lead to enough water retention to cause my face to swell. It has been my experience that just one day off of starches (sweet potatoes, even) causes my face to slim down noticeably (to me). I can eat plenty of fruit and sugar in its place, so it is not carbohydrates, just starch. There seems to be no difference in stomach bloat, however, meaning water retention doesnt play into that much.

    Also I have been feeling hypoglycemic for the past two days and I'm not sure why. That drop in blood sugar and irritability that is mitigated once I eat. Haven't experienced that in some time.
    Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

  3. #1193
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    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post
    So it all has me thinking about what I really want to do. My mom is the senior vice president of a large company, my sister puts on concerts at the White House and plans parties on Yachts in Cannes.... But my mom doesn't care what I do; she doesn't pressure me to follow any path and I feel no desire to follow in anyones footsteps, but she does pressure me to do something she deems valuable, like going to grad school. I really do appreciate her wanting what's best for me, but I wonder if others cloud my judgment.

    I don't know. I really don't know. I have no idea. This was just a rant and a really long one at that which wasn't my intention.

    Orz
    ^ Well that was weird
    Ha, I had not seen that, but your dreams as you told them made me LOL. Do I get to analyze?

    As to your question/rant. You are lucky that there's not much pressure from your parents. If it's me, I'd pick school over work. But that maybe influenced by the fact that studying was not what I chose back when I had the option to
    Though it's difficult to say without knowing the particular situation.

    I get random attacks of hypoglycemia sometimes too and I have no idea why.

  4. #1194
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    Quote Originally Posted by Graycat View Post
    Ha, I had not seen that, but your dreams as you told them made me LOL. Do I get to analyze?

    As to your question/rant. You are lucky that there's not much pressure from your parents. If it's me, I'd pick school over work. But that maybe influenced by the fact that studying was not what I chose back when I had the option to
    Though it's difficult to say without knowing the particular situation.

    I get random attacks of hypoglycemia sometimes too and I have no idea why.
    Ha, analyze away, Dr. Cat....

    Well I'm starting to understand why people spend so much time in school now. Probably because they have no idea what the hell else to do. I'm not sure that's where I'm heading.

    Have you always had bouts or is it fairly recent? I used to have it often as a kid but this is definitely new for me. I can't pinpoint why that would be.

    ETA: Was still feeling irritable after lunch so I just pounded back a large amount of sugar held together by some coffee. I am feeling much better.
    Last edited by ombat; 08-19-2013 at 01:21 PM.
    Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

  5. #1195
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    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post

    Well I'm starting to understand why people spend so much time in school now. Probably because they have no idea what the hell else to do. I'm not sure that's where I'm heading.
    This is true. And, as someone who has spent most of her life in school, I can tell you that not knowing what the hell else to do is not a good reason to continue to go to school.

    What year of college are you in? Are you starting your fourth year? You are still young enough to be able to do whatever you want, but I think it's important to think carefully. I mean, yes, in theory, you can always start something different whenever you want to, at any age, but it's not great (and, again, speaking from personal experience) to keep changing careers. One of the reasons is that, when you're 30, you'll find that you are still nowhere or just starting a career when everyone else your age who has found something and stuck with it are at a more advanced stage in their careers. This doesn't really bother me that much, but I do feel like I can't switch careers yet again at this point.

    However, in your case, since you're still young, even if you've studied something in college but now feel like you don't want to do it, you can and should switch to something else. Your college degree doesn't need to dictate your career path at all. You just need to spend some time figuring out what you really want to do with your life. (Easier said than done though. I'm 31 and still have no idea what the hell I want to do with my life.)

    I think there's not much point in going to grad school unless you want to pursue a career that requires a graduate degree. Grad school can be a huge waste of time for some people. But, then again, I don't really regret going to grad school. But I like learning things and like school in general and value learning for its own sake.

    Just out of curiosity--what's your major? And what do you think you want to do at the moment?

  6. #1196
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    Quote Originally Posted by diene View Post
    This is true. And, as someone who has spent most of her life in school, I can tell you that not knowing what the hell else to do is not a good reason to continue to go to school.

    What year of college are you in? Are you starting your fourth year? You are still young enough to be able to do whatever you want, but I think it's important to think carefully. I mean, yes, in theory, you can always start something different whenever you want to, at any age, but it's not great (and, again, speaking from personal experience) to keep changing careers. One of the reasons is that, when you're 30, you'll find that you are still nowhere or just starting a career when everyone else your age who has found something and stuck with it are at a more advanced stage in their careers. This doesn't really bother me that much, but I do feel like I can't switch careers yet again at this point.

    However, in your case, since you're still young, even if you've studied something in college but now feel like you don't want to do it, you can and should switch to something else. Your college degree doesn't need to dictate your career path at all. You just need to spend some time figuring out what you really want to do with your life. (Easier said than done though. I'm 31 and still have no idea what the hell I want to do with my life.)

    I think there's not much point in going to grad school unless you want to pursue a career that requires a graduate degree. Grad school can be a huge waste of time for some people. But, then again, I don't really regret going to grad school. But I like learning things and like school in general and value learning for its own sake.

    Just out of curiosity--what's your major? And what do you think you want to do at the moment?
    Thank you, Di! Yes I am going into my fourth year as an economics major with a mathematics minor and a Japanese minor. I know that my degree does not have to dictate what I go on to do. Luckily I do feel as though my degree looks impressive enough to get me in the door of other fields, especially for a woman - you don't see too many female econ majors and probably even less with mathematics (in honesty a mathematics minor is a joke but hopefully not everyone knows that).

    I really have no idea what I want to do. I have considered going into education which would pretty much require further schooling...

    What was your graduate degree in?
    Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

  7. #1197
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    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post
    Thank you, Di! Yes I am going into my fourth year as an economics major with a mathematics minor and a Japanese minor. I know that my degree does not have to dictate what I go on to do. Luckily I do feel as though my degree looks impressive enough to get me in the door of other fields, especially for a woman - you don't see too many female econ majors and probably even less with mathematics (in honesty a mathematics minor is a joke but hopefully not everyone knows that).
    Econ is pretty versatile--you can pretty much do whatever you want with that. Plus, if you're good at math, that's even more awesome, and there's even more stuff you could do. But if you don't want to work in an office--well, that's a pretty big limitation. But I think it's a good restriction. Working in an office pretty much sucks.

    Sometimes I think it would be nice to have a job that keeps you on your feet most of the time.

    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post
    I really have no idea what I want to do. I have considered going into education which would pretty much require further schooling...

    What was your graduate degree in?
    What would you want to teach?

    I have a master's in chemistry. I was in a Ph.D. program, but I left with a master's after I got bored/frustrated with my research. I have a tendency to become obsessed with something, pursue it for a couple years, get burned out/bored with it, and then abandon it for something else. I think it's fine to switch paths when you're younger, but it's not great to keep switching (which is what I did--and here I am, thinking about switching yet again).

    Edited to add: My unsolicited advice is to work for a bit after college. Get a regular job, and see how you like it. Even an office job. It may tell you something about yourself. You might find that you actually like working an office job, or you might find that you absolutely can't stand it. In any case, going to school continuously (or getting a job at an academic lab so it's as if you never left school--which is what I did) is not conducive to figuring out what you want to do with your life. They call academia the ivory tower for a reason. I think it's good to get some exposure to the real world early on. You could always go back to school.
    Last edited by diene; 08-20-2013 at 11:59 AM.

  8. #1198
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    I was thinking about teaching social sciences or mathematics, depending on what level I would teach at. I haven't given it too much thought.

    My internship this summer has been a desk job and it's been brutal. I don't even work 5 days a week and I can hardly stand it. I suppose it could be different if I was truly interested in what I was doing, but I can't fathom a 9-5 every day for the rest of my life.

    I feel like the two of us are very similar in this regard - I can be 100% gung ho about something for an extended period of time and then just.... But there are people who never settle down with one "career" and I think more would be this way if they didn't think they needed "security"
    Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

  9. #1199
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    Looks like you really don't like desk jobs then. Well, I guess try teaching? Do you really need a graduate degree to teach these days? I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure that most of my high school teachers didn't have graduate degrees. I think you get paid more if you have a graduate degree, but it's not a prerequisite?

  10. #1200
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    Quote Originally Posted by diene View Post
    Looks like you really don't like desk jobs then. Well, I guess try teaching? Do you really need a graduate degree to teach these days? I have no idea, but I'm pretty sure that most of my high school teachers didn't have graduate degrees. I think you get paid more if you have a graduate degree, but it's not a prerequisite?
    If you work at a private school you do not need a teaching degree, but otherwise (and for higher ed) you would need one.

    My cousin's wife works at an alternative school that teaches kids who need individually tailored education for any number of reasons, from students with "special needs" to those who are athletes and cannot spend 5 days per week in a classroom due to traveling for completion or whatnot. I have been talking to her about it and might want to try some place like that? It could be interesting.
    Is it weird in here, or is it just me?

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