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  1. #11
    qqemokitty's Avatar
    qqemokitty is offline Senior Member
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    This could have been written by me as well. I've let so much of my life pass me by because of my weight, and my terror of leaving the house because of everyone judging me. >.< So many things I've missed out on because I was ashamed of my body.

    And the irony of the tabs above the article just drove the point home. No matter how body confident you might be, there is always someone there ready to take you down a peg to make a buck off your "flaws."

  2. #12
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    The funny thing is that I don't notice people's weights except for people who really are pushing morbidly obese. The weirdest thing for me was a group photo taken at Christmas with some girlfriends. I ALWAYS feel like the fat cow of the group, like everyone is staring at me. And I saw that photo and realized I was smaller than all but two of the women, but that I didn't consider any of the others to be fat.

    This is all very sad, that we wrap so much importance into something so actually unimportant.

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  3. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    The funny thing is that I don't notice people's weights except for people who really are pushing morbidly obese. The weirdest thing for me was a group photo taken at Christmas with some girlfriends. I ALWAYS feel like the fat cow of the group, like everyone is staring at me. And I saw that photo and realized I was smaller than all but two of the women, but that I didn't consider any of the others to be fat.

    This is all very sad, that we wrap so much importance into something so actually unimportant.
    I think perhaps it depends on who you are surrounded by. Out of all of my friends and relatives, the largest person (aside from me) wears a size 6. So, in every picture I am much larger than everyone else, even the men. It just makes me feel bad.

    Since shifting to primal I'm trying to focus more on health and less on appearance, but it is very tough to do. Maybe if I had even just one friend that was close to my size I wouldn't feel so out of place all the time, but who knows. I do think I am healthier than most of my family and friends. I haven't had a cold in 2 years and now that I've gotten my migraines figured out I really don't have any health issues that I can think of. But... when we go clothes shopping somehow all of that is out the window. In situations like when we go to a bar and no one talks to me so I end up babysitting the coats and purses while my friends are all talking to new people or dancing, size feels much more important than health. I'm just as interesting, successful, intelligent, whatever as my friends are, but men at a bar are not interested in talking to me. I've never once been asked out on a date in person. That stuff hurt, even though we want to say that it doesn't matter.

  4. #14
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    ELizabeth826 is online now Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by GoJenGo View Post
    Heck, just look at all of the tabs above the article. "Lose 10 pounds! Breakfasts under 350 cals! Bikini body workout!" They're everywhere.
    Terrible isn't it? They couldn't have at least paid lip service to prompting HEALTH rather than weight loss? Even if you don't read magazines like Shape and Cosmo (which are the worst offenders), it's almost impossible to escape these messages.
    No disease that can be treated by diet should be treated with any other means.
    -Maimonodies

  5. #15
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    Gosh, that was hard to read! That was me, for 25 years, except for the ending. I try not to think of all those years as wasted. I don't know if it makes it easier or harder that something just clicked in my head a year ago and now I have something like the body I longed for all those years. I avoided so many photographs because I hated seeing my giant self. I worry that I already planted the poisonous seeds in my daughter's mind a long time ago. Ugh.
    50yo, 5'3"
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    CW-125, part calorie counting, part transition to primal
    GW- Goals are no longer weight-related

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by nikitakolata View Post
    In situations like when we go to a bar and no one talks to me so I end up babysitting the coats and purses while my friends are all talking to new people or dancing, size feels much more important than health. I'm just as interesting, successful, intelligent, whatever as my friends are, but men at a bar are not interested in talking to me. I've never once been asked out on a date in person. That stuff hurt, even though we want to say that it doesn't matter.
    I hate it that anyone is ever made to feel this way. It is just heartbreaking and, unfortunately, is not uncommon. Those awful feelings kick off the cycle of thought that eventually paralyzes us and leads to our putting life on the back burner UNTIL we.....A., B., or C., or all of the above. We are then on a mission to do whatever it takes to avoid being vulnerable to that kind of pain again, regardless of the sacrifices involved.
    Last edited by GoJenGo; 04-17-2013 at 02:47 PM.
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  7. #17
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    Sounds pretty familiar. I still find myself doing it almost everyday. Not really don't it, but THINKING it. "Oh, this will be so much easier when I'm down in weight." Which, is honestly true. I guess the difference this time is that I actually AM losing weight. This poor woman is still lost the CW weight loss sea.
    The process is simple: Free your mind, and your ass will follow.

  8. #18
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    I did not read the article but I'm sure it contains all the thoughts I've had in my own head since I was a little child. It doesn't help when people like some of these younger men who push starch and bro science come on here and reinforce it with the whole CICO thing. I truly believe we get fat(ter) and sick when we eat too little and try to cheat on eating less with low calorie, low nutrient foods. I have reached a point where I understand this is what I am, always have been and always will be. I still don't like it that I am fatter than most women in the gym and not stronger than them to make up for it, but I am what I am. This is as good as it gets. I may as well just live life to the fullest right now.
    Female, 5'3", 49, Starting weight: 163lbs. Current weight: 135 (more or less).
    Starting squat: 45lbs. Heaviest squat: 180 x 2. Heaviest Deadlift: 230 x 2

  9. #19
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    It's very sad indeed that we define beauty as being at a lower weight.

    We went out for burgers this weekend, and there was a very thin woman who looked very sad, sallow and unattractive. I don't know if she was sick or what, but I didn't think pretty at all. There was another mom with an envious body and 4 kids, she was not having much fun and also didn't strike me as pretty. Meanwhile there was a heavier woman, very much a plus size, nicely dressed, hair done, make up on, big smile, having a ball. She struck me as pretty and likely a fun date! The people with her were clearly enjoying her company!

    A lot more goes into beauty than thin thighs. The irony is that the quest for thin thighs often robs us of the other things that make us pretty. The energy and joy and pretty hair and skin.

    This is getting just, well stupid. This obsession with weight. I looked at my arms last night and cried. My legs too. My scale makes me mad. Yet yesterday, I made it through a brutal WOD at Crossfit. I put on a dress this morning that makes me look like an hourglass, even the 22 year old in the office thinks I look hot in it.

    Nikitakolata, I saw your pic on the etsy site. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. Talk to men and dance and let someone else man the purses.

    http://maggiesfeast.wordpress.com/
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  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia1973 View Post
    Nikitakolata, I saw your pic on the etsy site. YOU ARE GORGEOUS. Talk to men and dance and let someone else man the purses.
    You are sweet. The unfortunate thing is that that picture is from when I was at my lowest weight (the day before my wedding). I wish I still looked like that. To get to that weight I took phentermine twice a day and went to the gym twice a day. I wish I had maintained it, but after a year at that pace I was just too burned out. Darn, right?

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