edited because I'm just anal enough to want to sort out the formatting, lol
it's ok. i have had to steal the magazine with all the bullets in one time. i spent that xmas driving around with it under my car seat. i gave the bullets to someone safe and replaced the magazine. i also then later had to steal the gun for my own safety in case he acquired some more bullets. i have been hauled up at kindy when my kids were little and i was still with their dad. kindy teacher asked my littlest one how her party went and she had said good and apparently dad was going to shoot mum. he was unlicensed so at least he couldnt buy bullets. and seriously, if your ex was going to kill you, he would have used anything. blunt object, kitchen knife, pillow whatever. many much better weapons than a rifle. my ex was a bully. he used to threaten and talk. maybe he would have shot me or maybe he would have just waved the gun around. he's thrown knives and axes etc at me and never hit me so i think it was all bluster.
FPR again? i would have definitely been out the window then. i have bailed with all the kids and animals before so i know i can do that much. my numbness and detachment happens in situations i cant get away from usually. i am also eternally grateful i dont have to live like this anymore. last time he shoved me around was a few years ago now and it was coz he threatened me in front of the kids. i laughed so much i cried as it was so ridiculous. he then shoved me around coz i was laughing. i figured i needed to not be intimidated as the kids needed to not ever be afraid or bullied by him and they learn most by how you allow yourself to be treated.I just lay in bed listening to him tearing the house up and waited to die.
my rural roads are actually quite dangerous. especially now. tourists who cant drive on gravel. trucks etc. there is a book i can get here which is track and trails of the local area. awesome book. you may have something similar for your area and then you can make like Annie and go on a tramp once a week. if i was to be stuck at home, and it has happened alot in the past due to small children, i would do circuits of where i can see them. we used to hula hoop too. skip. just dont sit still. i am also liking my barbell compounds. even join a gym and go work out a few times a week. dont you work at a university? they would have a gym?
on a positive note. i saw a black headed tern i think at the beach fishing. quite unreal. it swooped and dived briefly into the bit between where the sea was receeding and the first breaker on the way again. so it would have been shallowish water. i didnt see what it caught or if it caught anything. i have never seen one doing that before. i saw a sealion swimming close to shore too. thankfully it stayed there.
edited because I'm just anal enough to want to sort out the formatting, lol
i dont really ever run unless i have to. i can get into the addictive qualities of running on a treadmill and i do ocassionally bust out a 5k hill run on the tready to prove i can still do it. but it really is no fun and very few of the older women i see running have the aesthetic i am after. and i have to be having fun which is why i am also not much good a HIIT. i can manage barbell compounds as they make me think and are technical enough to keep me going. but sprints on a exercycle or beach sprints meh. i get bored. beach sprints are a no no anyways coz of afore mentioned hounds propensity to want to stand next to me and we get tangled up when i run which always ends in me face planting with a large red dog standing on top of me wagging his tail!
i worked out you didnt mean current hubby. he always sounds very sweet. interesting too about the physical thing. i guess thankfully you will never know for sure and at least you and the kids werent harmed. poor you and kids tho. but yeah. FPR classic. like the dream with the monster heading your way and you cant move. frozen to the spot. but you did make it out for the kids so you can override the FPR. i have btw subtly taught my kids that you need to keep moving if anyone is shooting at you. i always discuss it in terms of our rabbit shooting activities. how hard it is to hit a moving target. it of course does depend on the circumstances as my great uncle did survive delva wood (sp?) by pretending to be dead. and not many men survived there.
another year. I am going to make a special effort to journal all the things I try for nutrition and exercise. that way maybe I can get a better overall picture of what works and where I am going with it all.
goals for the year. pretty generic standard stuff.
sort the bad eating habits out
continue gaining strength
keep fitting all my jeans
learn new things
breakfast. I force myself to eat when I get up. cup of water first. euww!!! then I poached some venison and made an omelette from 2 eggs and some edam. no mushrooms left today. cup of coffee. vit B tablet. I have tried the whole doing the beach fasted but it is a crock. I always always stuff up nutritionally later on in the day if I do that. my experiment of adding extra protein to breakfast seems to be working very well. venison is good as it is pretty much pure protein.
did the beach with the dog first thing. It was cold and windy. sand stormy in places. supposedly a 5k round trip but I am not totally convinced. either way, walking in sand is still better than even dirt roads and I never wear shoes. I may try it with the weight vest tomorrow. main reason I didn't today is training later. prior to that, I have always felt maybe we may need to outrun a sealion which is no fun in sand. since the dog is going so well on his marine mammal avoidance, we should be sweet. my theory behind the weight vest is it gets the adductors too. so I will be watching that to see what changes happen.
Go for it seas- i possibly need to resurrect? My old journal or begin a new one ??????
Not sure that MDA needs another journal ?????? LOL
"never let the truth get in the way of a good story "
I think it helps as you should hopefully be able to see patterns or other people can comment and give you ideas.
Happy new year Seas and all the best with your goals. I wonder what new things you will learn. I want to learn to recognise more of our native plants and birds, as well as to take up (wait for it...) tap dancing. lol. Also, having had a go at kayaking I now think that would be a fun activity to do more of should the opportunity arise.
Annie's Primal Highlights
What Annie Did Next
if you can take pics, I can always see if I can ID the plants. i'm not so good on birds but I have to obvious ones nailed and our plants will be subtly different to yours. this is a good place to look too Home | New Zealand Plant Conservation Network
in terms of new things, I want to learn things that train our senses we can train such as balance. I need to get back into my weaving and maybe this year I will finish learning to surf and do more rock climbing. I also need to take care of business a bit better. at some stage, it dawns on you that no matter how much your back is against the wall, the only person and people who suffer are you and also your kids. so this year I will be more together. I am after all OMG the head of the family which is very scarey some days.
k so today
L some steamed cockles and a 2 egg edam omelette.
D 400g cherries and a trim chai on the way home from the gym. prob 1/3 GF pizza dd made.
several cups of coffee all day too
gym was way too much fun as usual.
curtsey lunges with 2 x 26kg dumbbells .10 on each leg
walking lunges with 2 x 18kg dumbbells. prob 20 m either way.
walking single arm OH lunges with a 16kg dumbbell. 20 m either way. swopping arms on the turnaround
fighter's lunge with 11kg dumbbell. 10 on each leg
Bulgarian split squat with 18kg dumbbell on side going down. 1o on each leg.
straight legged deads on step with 30kgs 4 x 10 supersetted with
heavy good mornings 40,45,40,45 4 x 10
weighted glute bridge. we messed around a bit. tried the bench under the smith machine. 15 x 30kgs x 2. lay on the floor with a 40kg barbell. 1 x 20. stopped messing around and got the Olympic bar out and shimmied under that. 2 sets of 15 @ 60kgs.
stiff arm push down 18kgs in fourset so rotate around and do 3 sets 15 reps per exercise with
bench dips with feet on swiss ball for elevation
abwheel roll outs x 15
OH press x 15. I was too rinsed to check the weight but it was nasty
then ascending and descending ladder
10, 15, 20, 15, 10 reps of seated row started at about 36kgs and worked my way down to 24kgs. lat pulldown. 30kgs.
Blood 'yell, I can see why you only go to the gym once a week looking at that workout, got to say it looks punishing!