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Thread: B*tchapalooza 2013 page 254

  1. #2531
    badgergirl's Avatar
    badgergirl is online now Senior Member
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    Primal Fuel
    Welcome back! You were missed xx
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  2. #2532
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    RittenRemedy is offline Senior Member
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    I only rarely wear shoes with heels, but the only times I've fallen in them, I've been sober. I think I've been drunk at least half the time I've warn them, including running on poorly maintained Korean streets.

  3. #2533
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    JoanieL is offline Senior Member
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    Quote Originally Posted by badgergirl View Post
    Welcome back! You were missed xx
    Thank you! This seems to be the summer of checking out for me. One planned, one not. Can't wait to see what fall brings.

    Quote Originally Posted by RittenRemedy View Post
    I only rarely wear shoes with heels, but the only times I've fallen in them, I've been sober. I think I've been drunk at least half the time I've warn them, including running on poorly maintained Korean streets.
    You know that saying about God protecting drunks? Mah little pea brain doesn't know a whole lot about God, but being in the artificially relaxed state of drunkenness can surely keep a lot of pain from happening.

    Apropos of nothing, the fine for puking in a taxi in NOLA is $140. Actually, I don't know if it's a fine, but it's the standard amount added to the fare, and it's posted in all the cabs. Thank goodness that I'm not a puker.
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

  4. #2534
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    JoanieL is offline Senior Member
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    I watch a lot of shows on cooking, and I also like to watch shows about mixology (previously known as bartending). Having gone to Costco today, I bought some beer. The party pack of Blue Moon. It's not micro, but it's certainly not Bud - somewhere in between. Oh yeah, I haven't had a beer since last summer.

    And I bought some tequila. Later, I remembered that I'd seen a show on beer cocktails. I made the following drink: ice, 2 shots tequila (if, like Doc, you hate tequila, use something you think will go with beer), juice of half a lemon, ~10 oz of a pale ale (you can use the whole bottle, but the glass I used only would hold about 10 oz with the other ingredients). Put the beer in last so the carbonation "mixes" the drink - you don't want to stir if you don't have to, because you don't want the carbonation to flatten.

    Sounds weird, right? But day-um, it's got everything. Hard alcohol for the buzz, lemon for the brightness, and beer for the fizzy and that lovely beer taste. I just thought of something. I'm not a big salt lover, but salt goes with both beer and tequila, so if you salt the rim of the glass, that would probably be nice.

    My first beer cocktail. Oh Costco, how you bring me low. hahahaha.

    Peace,
    J
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

  5. #2535
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    JoanieL is offline Senior Member
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    Catching up

    I wrote some stuff in longhand when I first lost my laptop. So, some catch-up.

    Observation. OMG has keyboarding made journalling easier. Longhand is a bitch. On day two, I had a cramp in my hand from writing with a pen. I'm one that grips a pen tightly, and carves into the page. Which is no big deal doing To-Do or grocery lists, but not great for writing bloviated journal entries.

    I cleaned out my freezer, my fridge, and my kitchen cabinets. I would sit when balancing on one foot and the big toe of the other would start to pain me. This cleaning isn't unusual.

    The weirdness came in when I inventoried everything (including the little storage area that serves as my pantry). I've read that OCD worsens as one gets older. I'm glad my case was mild as a youth.

    One of my meals was skewered spicy ground lamb. Skewered ground meat looks like a turd once you unskewer it. Actually, once it's cooked, it looks like skewered turd. The sauce was buttermilk, pineapple habenero jelly, curry powder and ground ginger. Delish (but ugly).

    My sleep improved with no computer. Since I use my computer as a "TV set," it's on almost 24/7. Since I spent my TV hours reading instead, there was no added light in the room when I fell asleep.

    I remember something from many years ago. I thought John Lennon said it, but I can't find it online.

    "Above the clouds is a beautiful place where nothing is real but what you believe.
    And the sun shines through the purple haze on the strawberry fields forever."

    A fairy tale that I wrote follows.

    Peace, love, and old LSD references,
    J
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

  6. #2536
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    A Grim Fairy Tale
    (Based on true events, and probably not a good idea to read right before bed.)


    Once upon a time in a land called Post Katrina, a young Prince of Fun met a lovely Princess of Adventure.

    The hurricane had decimated parts of the city, and even The Quarter, which no City Father would ever allow to be inhospitable to tourists, had taken a hit.

    They were bartenders. She was that pretty girl who would probably do okay, no matter what she chose to pursue as a career. She was bright and personable. He was that boyish guy who can find a party in any situation.

    They came together during a time of no electricity. A time when people were taking the FEMA money and getting the fuck out of Dodge. The country had abandoned NOLA (or so it seemed to her inhabitants), and if it were to be saved, it would be the hearts and souls and money of those who loved her enough to stay that would do so.

    They stayed in her apartment. But they would also organize block parties and community dinners during these very trying times. Yes, they stole things like food and candles, but for the most part, they were merely trying to survive. And to bring some cheer to their neighbors. They were well liked in the neighborhood.

    Unfortunately, the boy who is a lot of fun in the face of adversity is not always the boy one chooses when things return to normal. The lights came back on. The city started to heal. Where she had once looked to him as a respite in the despair of Post Katrina, she now looked at him as a burden. A boy who would never grow up. Clingy. Drug-addled.

    They tried to keep it together - they really did. They loved each other. But where he wanted that total edgy, can-we-survive thing, she wanted to return to normalcy.

    Eventually, they fought almost constantly. They couldn't get back to those days of lawn chairs on the street with impromptu pot-luck dinners with the neighbors. The days of surviving by their wits and guts. That reality that was closer to an apocalypse than it was to just plain life.

    He sensed that she was pulling away, and he became more morose and despondent. And as men are wont to do in that situation, he became more violent. The tighter he held, the more she pulled away. The more she pulled away, the tighter he held.

    Eventually, she could no longer cope. The lease was in her name, and she told the landlord that she wanted the (former) Prince of Fun out. The landlord helped her, and evicted him.

    He was beside himself. He became obsessed. She was his one true love - how could she do this to him? His behavior became more and more erratic. His drinking and use of drugs increased. In a word (or some), he was losing it.

    She, on the other hand, was getting back to her normal life. She hung out with friends, and continued to tend bar.

    One night he asked her if he could stop by the apartment they had once shared. A lot of us would have said yes, and so did she.

    A few days later, they found him dead. He had jumped to his death from a parking structure. In his pocket was a letter explaining everything. Based on that letter, the police went to the young woman's apartment. What they found affected even those who had been on the job for decades.

    Unable to convice his princess to reconcile with him, he had killed her. He lived in the apartment with her corpse for a few days. When he realized the ramifications of what he had done, he tried to get rid of the body. Her head was in a pot on the stove, and her limbs were chopped up in the oven. When the horror of what he'd done penetrated the fog that was his brain, he wrote it all down, put the letter in his pocket, and jumped to his death.

    The End
    "Right is right, even if no one is doing it; wrong is wrong, even if everyone is doing it." - St. Augustine

    B*tch-lite

    Who says back fat is a bad thing? Maybe on a hairy guy at the beach, but not on a crab.

  7. #2537
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    Well. That was quite grim.

  8. #2538
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    badgergirl is online now Senior Member
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    More Bluebeard than Cinderella, as life so often is.
    My journal: http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/thread60211.html Into RPG table top games? Check out FateStorm and (in development) Vanguard! 3D printed miniatures for sci-fi RPGs.

  9. #2539
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post
    I love you guyses!

    I stepped off a curb wrong and twisted my ankle. Since I already had a bad case of ajada, and things happen in threes, the next morning, my laptop turned into a big ugly paperweight. Just FML. No smart phone to tell anyone because you know, I'm cheap. Today was the first day I wasn't limping, so I went to Costco and bought a new laptop.

    I wish I had a more fun story to tell you, but it was just me temporarily bending over for the fates.

    Peace and love,
    J

    PS: Here's a little thing that makes me go hmmm... I've fallen six times since I moved to the city that doesn't maintain its roads and sidewalks. The only time I was drunk when I fell was when I was still a tourist. No pain the next morning. Either Bourbon Street is rubber, or I am when I'm drunk.
    you had me at "bending over"..... lol

  10. #2540
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    Quote Originally Posted by JoanieL View Post
    I watch a lot of shows on cooking, and I also like to watch shows about mixology (previously known as bartending). Having gone to Costco today, I bought some beer. The party pack of Blue Moon. It's not micro, but it's certainly not Bud - somewhere in between. Oh yeah, I haven't had a beer since last summer.

    And I bought some tequila. Later, I remembered that I'd seen a show on beer cocktails. I made the following drink: ice, 2 shots tequila (if, like Doc, you hate tequila, use something you think will go with beer), juice of half a lemon, ~10 oz of a pale ale (you can use the whole bottle, but the glass I used only would hold about 10 oz with the other ingredients). Put the beer in last so the carbonation "mixes" the drink - you don't want to stir if you don't have to, because you don't want the carbonation to flatten.

    Sounds weird, right? But day-um, it's got everything. Hard alcohol for the buzz, lemon for the brightness, and beer for the fizzy and that lovely beer taste. I just thought of something. I'm not a big salt lover, but salt goes with both beer and tequila, so if you salt the rim of the glass, that would probably be nice.

    My first beer cocktail. Oh Costco, how you bring me low. hahahaha.

    Peace,
    J
    hmmm sounds like you should call that a Mexican Shandy....

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