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Thread: Girlfriend Desperately needs help page 2

  1. #11
    noodletoy's Avatar
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    is breakfast 1 egg and 1 slice of bacon? is lunch 2 oz of chicken salad? or is she eating 3-4 eggs?

    that kind of thing...

    i lost 30 pounds on low-carb before going primal. it was slow -- took 6 months, but i am in my my 40s. however, my body got much "smaller" because the carb bloat and lots of fat were gone. no fruits, lots of leafy greens. high-fat, moderate protein.

    As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

    Ernest Hemingway

  2. #12
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    I would strongly suggest that she track calories for a few days to see whether she's over- or under-eating, as well as to get a more accurate assessment of her macros. Does she move around a lot at a slow pace? I dropped 25 pounds in less than two months in my pre-Primal days by IFing (eating once a day) and kept them off for good. Have her give that a go one she dials into Primal a bit more fully.

  3. #13
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    I'd also take a look at sleep, medications, and stress. Weighing so often can lead us to some daffy conclusions.

  4. #14
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    How long did it take to put that weight on? How long has she had it? She expects it to just fall off in three weeks?

    Yes, it does happen that way for some people, but other people can go for weeks and not lose anything, then suddenly drop pounds in the span of a couple of days. It seems the body is busy doing some healing or repair or something, and once that is fixed, starts dropping weight. (I made that up, and have no idea if it is true, but it appears to be.)

    Does she have objections to primal/paleo? It's not a quick fix, necessarily. Is there a reason she's in a rush?

    From a male perspective, I feel like if she can't/won't tell you her weight, she's got some semi-serious body image issues going on that losing weight may not fix. Admitting the true extent of the problem is part of admitting the problem, and the first step in fixing it.

  5. #15
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    First of all she needs to stop weighing herself so often, those daily fluctuations do your head in - speaking from experience! I weigh 2kg heavier at night than the morning, and even my morning weight fluctuates daily over 2-3kg. Best to weigh once a week, or even have a full month off. I am losing so slowly that I can't see it on the scales when weighing daily, or even weekly, and so I kept tweaking my diet and giving up because I *thought* nothing was happening, or I'd binge out of despair and frustration. But then I committed to a whole month without weighing, and after one month I had lost a kilo. This was a very small daily loss, and if I had been monitoring constantly I probably would have binged or given up.

    If shyour girlfriend is really doing everything right that she can think of - i.e. not eating too much, low carb (if that's your poison) etc, I'd head to the doc. Thyroid issues, among other things, are more common than you'd believe. I gained 10-12kg, in spite of daily exercise and counting calories (eating less than 'maintenance' - according to calorie calculators), because of low thyroid. And I was SUPER motivated as I got married during this time also.

    When I finally got onto a good doc she did lots of tests, including muscle reflexes, and determined that, as opposed to the 2000 calories needed to maintain that all the calculators estimated for me, my daily energy requirements were about 1400 or something ridiculous. I literally did not lose weight for over a year despite being very srtict with calories etc, and attempting all versions of primal (no eggs, no dairy, fasting, low carb etc) - it is only now that I am properly medicated that I am finally losing weight. So if it were me, I'd be heading to the doc.

    Also, give her lots of support. Make sure she knows that you love her and are attracted to her no matter what size she is. This will help reduce her stress about her weight, which can also affect weight loss.

  6. #16
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    Quote Originally Posted by lucy1984 View Post
    Also, give her lots of support. Make sure she knows that you love her and are attracted to her no matter what size she is. This will help reduce her stress about her weight, which can also affect weight loss.
    Yes, it's hard to tell whether she actually wants to lose weight or if it's you that wants her to. Or if she'd like to, but is not prepared to commit to what it takes (ie fully primal). Especially bearing in mind that unfortunately it sometimes seems a whole lot easier for men than women to easily succeed.

    Maybe just be careful not to put temptations in her way, don't comment at all on her efforts or results (my husband would NEVER ask me what I weigh and I appreciate that. I could also sometimes do with a little more reassurance that he thinks I'm fine the way I am. Believe it or not, that would not demotivate me from trying to improve myself), and keep doing what works for you. You can probably cheat a bit without it hurting your results, maybe not the same for her. If you do that in front of her, it can be tough.

    If she really seriously wants to know about how to make this work for her, direct her to the articles on site.

  7. #17
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    jkr
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    I'll echo the multiple posters that said she is over-training and under-eating. Seriously, she is working out often but eating very low-carb. VLC is mostly for overweight sedentary people, which she is not. Get those good starches in her, like plantain and sweet potatoes, and convince her to lay off some of the running.

    Again, what is her sleep and stress levels like? Stop weighing all time. She is eating well now, not binge dieting. It might take a bit for her body to heal other more important things, like the endocrine system, before it's willing to drop weight.

    Do a search on this board and you'll find TONS of threads similar to this one.

  8. #18
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    If your girlfriend has "only" around 20-30 lbs to lose, it's understandable why that kind of fat will fight and nail to stay on her body, as opposed to if she had 50+ lbs to lose and was palpably overweight. Give it time, I'd say around 2 months. A lot of people will say to not be militant and eat some carbs and fruit, but I've found that if your goal is under 30 lbs, you really do have to dial in the carbs. This means reducing, if not eliminating fruit, dairy, caffeine, and the like for a few weeks. The tummy pooch will melt away if she does that.

    In the first week or so of that kind of VLC regime, it will take a lot of self control. She might experience cravings. Take it easy on the running/sprinting and take more long, easy walks.

    Supplementing with L-Glutamine and Chromium might help, too.

  9. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by fcby9 View Post
    This means reducing, if not eliminating fruit, dairy, caffeine, and the like for a few weeks.
    Why caffeine?

  10. #20
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    Quote Originally Posted by unchatenfrance View Post
    Why caffeine?
    Personally, caffeine is a trigger. I tend to use it as a crutch when I'm short on sleep and want an instant spurt of energy. It just wires me up. Coffee in and of itself is fine (purely from a nutritional POV), but I add dairy (1/2 and 1/2) because I don't like it black. As soon as dairy enters the equation, at least for me, fat loss is impeded. Plus I've noticed feeling more bloated and looking puffier when I have coffee.

    Tea, especially green and herbal, and superior options. But to each his/her own.

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