Primal Diva's Journal: From FMP's to VFF's! page 5

**Lady Grok** · 01-01-2011, 02:11 PM

Thanks Evita! Happy New Year to you, as well! Drat those men, and their extra muscle. I think that is the culprit. The Man, (unfortunately) has been indulging quite a bit over the holiday season. i would estimate he gained back half of what he lost. He also ate all the nuts and dark chocolate I got in my Christmas stocking this year. I am about half annoyed, and half relieved.

I have decided to keep graphing my weight, just not putting as much emphasis on it. I have never kept up with a "diet" (way of eating, lifestyle, whatever) for this long. I would plateau, and give up. I've accepted that my body is responding to this, albeit very very slowly. Considering that I have been messing up my metabolism with CW since the age of 12, I feel lucky that the damage is at least somewhat reversible!

I weighed and measured as a benchmark today, and was pleasantly surprised. I am starting out 2011 at juuuust a hair under 230 (229.8, to be exact!) I am excited about that. I am even more excited about my waist to hip ratio, though. I have finally achieved the coveted 10 inch difference between the two. I will be taking "start" pictures today as well: Well, I guess they are start pictures for the year, and progress pictures for the ongoing process.

I am hoping to shake things up: I go back to CrossFit starting on Monday. Today is probably going to be taken up with cleaning and cooking in order to get ready for the workweek ahead.

**Lady Grok** · 01-02-2011, 10:03 PM

Oh man.

The Man and I were talking about how universally crappy 2010 was. The last incident: Teenage kids broke into our family ranch house, disabled the burglar alarm, threw a 250+ person party, and did around $10,000 worth of damage. The worst part is that in the process of partying, a young lady either drank too much, OD'd, or was roofied, and was sexually assaulted in one of the back bedrooms. She is still in the hospital, and was in critical condition. I got that news right after I posted yesterday. That poor girl, and her family: It is heartbreaking.

While we are dealing with the fallout in 2011, I would like to attribute that incident to 2010. That definitely tops the existing low of last year: getting swindled by the guy who was supposedly restoring my husband's classic car was the previous low, which only just barely eclipsed my brother's divorce and my father's plunge down the cement staircase in Rome (only avoided major damage because he managed to somersault) and a few months later, his cardiac episode (which thankfully, turned out to be "nothing").

We were discussing the list of crap (and it is even longer, believe it or not!) but the two bright spots stand out thusly: Our trip to Italy, and finding Primal Blueprint. I have fantastic memories of our vacation: the delicious food, the gorgeous panoramas, the dolce vita attitude. The thing is, I wouldn't have had such a fantastic time without following the PB. I didn't have to worry about getting a migraine, the massive amount of walking didn't faze me, I was much more comfortable in close quarters and had more room to move on the airplane because I have shrunk a bit, and I knew I wouldn't blow up like a balloon if I did have a gelato on occasion. The voracious mosquitoes also ignored me, for the most part. Thanks Mark.

I go back to work, and CrossFit tomorrow. I was discouraged from doing the crazy "New Year's Excursion" but I did lend them a bunch of sledgehammers they asked for. As it turns out, the workout was a pseudo "Zombie Apocalypse." I can't believe I missed it. I am definitely going to be in shape for next year's fiesta.

**Greensprout** · 01-02-2011, 10:22 PM

Wow, that's quite horrible news. Being the mom of teenagers, even more so. Nasty way to start the New Year.

I was planning to say welcome back, as I enjoyed reading your journal a while back.

I totally agree with highlights for 2010 being finding PB and Italy! We had some days there in 2008 around a cruise and it's most definitely on the list for a return trip with more time to explore.

Best wishes for a totally primal 2011.

**Lady Grok** · 01-08-2011, 10:38 PM

Thanks Greensprout: I have to say, it wasn't the best news: The people responsible for the girl are evidently in custody, and after some detective work on facebook, we found out that the kids are throwing another similar party at another house tonight. The police will be uninvited guests at this one, however. I appreciate the "Welcome back! Happy Primal New Year to you as well

This week has gone...well, OK. I went back to CrossFit as planned on Monday, and as a result, was absolutely crippled until Thursday morning. I was so knackered when I left on Monday, I forgot to pick up The Man's sledgehammers! Still, I will be back next Monday, and will hopefully have a shorter recovery time as my body adjusts to my renewed interest in exercise. I am shooting for two days at CrossFit this next week.

I can already tell that my body is happier: my weight is still all over the place, but my clothes are a smidge looser, I can see an improvement in muscle tone, and my clavicles are showing themselves to be in evidence. So the scale can go kick rocks.

I am also making progress in my efforts to cook at home more. I need to cook a bunch of stuff at once: that way the kitchen can stay clean in between bouts. I had a cooking fit today, so the fridge is full of healthy food: I made a great Coconut soup from the new Trader Joe's cookbook that will be fab to have on hand for lunches, along with a huge batch of hard boiled eggs, a pan of Pancetta Clafouti to grab for breakfasts...and best of all, I finally took my pressure cooker on its inaugural voyage. I was inspired by Mark's post today, and decided to make the beef stew recipe. What a revelation! I am never making a roast in the Crock pot again They always turn out dry and stringy. The stew meat turned out so juicy and flavorful when cooked in the pc, I bet roasts would be fantastic. You live and learn, I guess!

**Lady Grok** · 01-09-2011, 10:40 PM

Adventure Sunday is still in full effect! Today we headed over to San Jose for a car show, followed by dinner.

The car show was a bit of a disappointment: we were expecting classic cars, and there were a few, but mostly it was a huge car commercial, complete with test drives. Eh. There were a few vintage Ferraris that were fun to look at, however! It also fully convinced me to hold on to my beloved convertible for as long as it will run. I'm pretty "eh" about cars that are currently out on the market. I want something that is a convertible, but with a trunk, and right now the only thing I like the specs AND the styling on is the Audi A-5, which is just not practical for us right now. House first, hopefully family soon after. Payments of a sports car are just not in the cards: and the Audi isn't exactly a budget or child friendly choice.

We headed to Peet's, where I splurged on a hot chocolate, and then ventured over to a Moroccan restaurant, which was much more enjoyable than the car show. We had the requisite mint tea, a spinach salad, and some appetizer-sized kebabs...for entrees, The Man ordered Imperial Couscous, and I had a fantastic and very Primal Lamb Tagine. It was delicious, and I am already trying to figure out how I will duplicate it in the pressure cooker. We were just finishing up our entrees when the music kicked up and a bellydancer came out.

This was a small restaurant, and I had chosen it specifically based on the atmosphere, fantastic reviews on yelp.com, and of course, the dance performance. I thought The Man would take a bunch of pictures, but evidently he was feeling shy. I admit to feeling slightly smug about this, as she was very pretty and did a whole lot of shimmying.

This is where I decided to exercise my 20% and sample one of their desserts: sweet fillings in phyllo dough envelopes. We had strawberry with white chocolate, dark chocolate, and apricot with almonds. If I had decided to be good (or at least, make a better choice) they had an exotic mixture of oranges, cinnamon, and rose water which also sounded divine.

Once we were back at home, we decided to watch the first episode of The Wild Within. It's a show on the travel channel that details the hunting and gathering adventures of an accomplished outdoorsman, and it is seriously fascinating to us, as we are total city folk who aspire to be more sustainable. It would be nice to be a little less dependent on Trader Joe's for survival! It was a fun show to watch, and very inspiring. The Man says he wants to take up hunting, and I have agreed to cook anything he manages to catch, as long as he cleans it first. For now, I am thinking this is an empty threat, but you never know!

**Lady Grok** · 01-14-2011, 05:33 PM

Ok, this is supposed to be one of those "productive weekends". So far, I have just been skating, trying to get through the week. Probably the most exciting accomplishment is that I read that you can freeze roasted spaghetti squash, as well as blanch shredded cauliflower in the microwave and freeze that too! So there's two shredded cauliflowers and two monster spaghetti squashes in freezer bags, waiting to be defrosted in case of laziness or emergency.

I seem to be doing better this week. I am going to be counting carbs again and monitoring protein and fat ratios starting next week, but the thing that seems to be turning it around for me right now is coconut oil. I have a big spoonful (like 2 TB) every morning when I wake up, and wait an hour before I have my steaming cup of Earl Grey tea with heavy cream at work. I am satisfied with much less for lunch, and usually a snack-type dinner.

This morning, I was running late, and all my go-to outfits were in the towering Pile O' Laundry, so I was desperately scrambling for a black t-shirt. I found an Italian souvenir (black: "ROMA" in rhinestones across the chestal region) which I stupidly didn't try on at the time of purchase. It was an XXL: I figured it would be fine. Then I got it home, and OF course, Italian sizing! It was so tight, I thought the rhinestones were going to pop off from the strain if I sneezed. So it has been sitting, forlorn, in my t-shirt drawer. In my desperate state, I threw it on, and OH boy! IT FITS. It's definitely not baggy, but it doesn't look like I am going to explode out of it either. Wooohooo!

The Man has been flailing. He had a total meltdown last night: worrying about money, worrying about the economy and the housing market. He did his usual thing where he just dumped it all on me. I stopped him, and just said, "I have no control of this situation. You haven't consulted me about any of this, this is the result of choices you made without me or in spite of me. While I am sorry this is going on, it directly affects me, and I can't be objective about it. The fact that your expenses are the priority over mine is not lost on me. I had a crappy day too, and I am in no way prepared to talk you down off your ledge. Please give me some space, and we can discuss it later tonight."

I may not have been quite so erudite in person, but I think I conveyed the general idea!

We sat down later, and he said, "I am so depressed. I can't think straight. I hate where we are living, and I just want to escape. I just got the business tax bill, and I still have to pay X, Y, and Z. I am losing customers: two people died in the last month, (cancer for one, alcoholism for the other) and the economy is killing my customer base. I need to get new tenants in, and there's a lot of nibbling, but no bites."

I gave him my take: we need to make the common area for the tenants feel welcome. There are inexpensive changes we can make to make the grounds more attractive, and I offered to walk around with him and make a list of quick fixes, which would make anyone looking for a prospective place to live much happier. The unforseen bills (on top of the tax bill) are ridiculous: he agreed to make some calls and work out a payment plan. The tax bill isn't due until summer, at the height of our busiest season. In the meantime, we know it's coming, so put away a portion every month.

Then I said, "Also, please hear me out. We both use the same garbage can. I see the fast food bags and the soda cans. And I know, the dog ate your vitamins. (True!) So can you maybe try to cut the junk out again, and if I get you some multi-vitamins, vitamin D, and fish oil, will you please take them? I will do my best to keep the fridge stocked, if you will eat the food I put in it."

He agreed that maybe part of the reason he feels so awful is that he needs to cut out a lot of the garbage eating. The financial stuff, we can ride out. And all is back at the status quo over here in Divaville.

**Lady Grok** · 01-17-2011, 11:00 PM

I am so sorry to see this weekend go!

I am not sure how the coconut oil works, but it is WORKING. I have had amazing energy all week. I have learned from past episodes of slothful inactivity to strike while the iron is hot, and OMG, my house is now cleaner than it has been since the week we have moved in! Yes, it took 4 days to do it, and it is still nowhere near "perfect", but it's noticeably better than it was. The best part so far: Finding a pair of giant pants that no longer fit me. They went into the charity box. More encouraging: I have always wanted to look good in hats, and at this stage in the game, (of course NOW, when they are trendy) I just don't. Wishful thinking has led me to buy a few cloches and fedoras, and I have sun hats from vacations. While I was sorting through the closet, I decided to try things on and assess whether or not I could let go of my hats. Amazingly enough, the hats are staying: I can definitely see progress! Part of it is my new layered haircut, but most of it is due to the fact that my face is slimming down. I am well on my way to becoming a hat person. Hooray!

Also noticeably better: I got on the scale this morning, and I have reached a new low. I am now pretty firmly into the 220's. I can live with the idea that my weight fluctuates somewhat, and as long as I can hold steady or trend down, that's good enough. So I am going to stick with my current thing: this is the first downward trend that I have seen for awhile.

This week is freaking busy. I am hoping, once again, to get to CrossFit twice this week. Tuesday and Thursday. There are a bunch of things planned for this weekend, and I need to man up to get my exercise in. I am a little worried about the social events: I won't be in control of the situation, so my eating may be compromised. The plan is to eat a big lunch on those days and to bring along something in my purse in case of emergency. And you now, not to sweat it if I need to exercise my 20%.

**Lady Grok** · 10-11-2011, 11:33 PM

Believe it or not, I am still around: just started blogging somewhere else: Lady Grok

It's been an amazing couple of days. Realizing what this dietary change has meant for me over the long haul is simply amazing.

I am missing CrossFit: I had to deactivate (Doctor's Orders) and am now not allowed to to any strenuous exercise. The reasoning is sound, but that doesn't make it any easier. I am trying to eat as Primally as possible, and am really enjoying cooking. Probably the highlight- snipping herbs from my container garden on the porch today, to go into my Chicken veggie soup. It really doesn't get much more satisfying than that.