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Thread: Motivation Fail! - Third Time "Starting" the Grokette Lifestyle! page

  1. #1
    phillyprimalmum's Avatar
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    Motivation Fail! - Third Time "Starting" the Grokette Lifestyle!

    I'm PhillyPrimalMum, although I guess now I should call myself DCPrimalMum, since I relocated to the Capitol in January for work.

    I found this website via NerdFitness in May 2012 and began my primal journey with the goal being lose the pregnancy weight (can you still call it that if the baby is now 2?!), fit into my law school jeans, and naturally manage my depression and anxiety (no small feat when one is a working mom with a stressful job, a long daily commute, and a partner who works in another state three days out of each week!). It was great, until it wasn't...holidays and the move from PA to VA really gummed up the works.

    Cut to January 2013, did a Whole30 (well, more like a Whole 21, then broke down and added my nightly wine back in). Frustrated and depressed by my lack of progress, I fell hard off the wagon - as in, started eating grains again. Yuk.

    In the past two weeks I have been working towards a goal of 100% compliance - on diet as well as LHT, great sleep, and more play. However, I lose focus and faith easily. Whether it's stress about my job, finances, my kiddo, or just hating what I see in the mirror and my painfully slow progress, for whatever reason, I can't seem to stay motivated.

    I guess I am hoping there are some others here who have overcome that who could give me some tips on how to deal with my flagging motivation. Are there good before/after sites to view? A place to find more success stories? I have already read the entire success thread and all the featured stories several times over! I am new in my area and I'm the only person I know who is interested in the primal lifestyle, so even having "online friends" to support me could be the key to success this time.

    Anyway, if there are fellow Primal Mums, other early 30's Grokettes, or even seasoned long-time success stories who can provide advice, I'd be very grateful.

    If an overview of my current situation/stats would help:

    • Female, 33, one kid (2), one husband (NOT interested in the primal "cult", so he says)
    • 5'7'', 175 lbs, 19% bodyfat (at last measure)
    • Goal is 150 lbs, 15% bodyfat, and to create a waist again - I lost what little definition I had b/c of pregnancy
    • Sedentary job (lawyer), but box and kickbox on the weekends. When it's not winter, we bike and hike regularly as well
    • Wear a FitBit daily and track macros/calories; average intake is around 1400-1500 per day at ~50% fat, ~30% protein; generally burn in the 2100-2200 area if I didn't exercise strenuously that day
    • Average meals in a day: turkey or eggs and fruit in the morning; coffee with coconut milk; salad with protein for lunch; meat with veg cooked in ghee/kerrygold; some dark chocolate; some-lots of red wine; green or herbal tea and water throughout the day
    • Just added in bodyweight exercises twice weekly - pushups, squats, planks, dips for about 30 min each session
    • Get ~7 hours a night, no alarm clock, in a pitch black, very comfy bed!

  2. #2
    Jeri's Avatar
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    Phillyprimalmum, I hear you. I started primal in August 2012 and did well for 3 months, then fell off the wagon, tried again in January to get back on but didn't do to well, started back about 3/5/13 and am still struggling to get on. The past two weeks have been very bad for me diet wise. My husband is doing this with me but we have not done well at keeping each other motivated. Now we are moving back to WV our original home states, we have been in NC since 1997, I feel like I am eating on the run all of the time even though we are eating at home. I skip breakfast most days and luch is not good, I work in a doctors office that is owned by the hospital across the street and was eating there for luch but am very tired of their menu, so luch is bad, dinner is always pretty primal so I guess you could say I'm at 50%. I will help and encourage you if you are willing to help me. I will friend you and we will see how this goes.

  3. #3
    phillyprimalmum's Avatar
    phillyprimalmum is offline Junior Member
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    Thanks, Jeri! I already learned something from you - there is a group for 2013 starters. I am going to check that out now! See, this can work, I think.

  4. #4
    Hedonist2's Avatar
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    Mother Nature doesn't want you to have 15% body fat. Sorry, sometimes she can be a bitch. 19% is the bare minimum she will allow without fighting you.

    As Mark would say, don't let striving for perfect get in the way of being Primal.
    Ancestral Health Info - My blog about Primal and the general ancestral health movement. Site just remodeled using HTML5/CSS3 instead of Wordpress.

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    eKatherine's Avatar
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    Here's a link to a page with photos you can use to compare your body with others of known body fat %. I suspect that if you don't currently have a waist, your body fat is higher than 19%.

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    Chanda's Avatar
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    There's a 2013 group? Could you please post a link to that?

    I have a tendency to fall off the wagon, too. Almost every day. It's usually at night, sometimes I'll just get this sudden urge to eat something non-primal and then I do it. And then I think to myself, "Whoops! Well, that was my 20%!" Even with the little slip ups, though, I've lost some weight, although not a lot. But each day is a new beginning. I've done pretty well today!

  7. #7
    Annieh's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Hedonist2 View Post
    Mother Nature doesn't want you to have 15% body fat. Sorry, sometimes she can be a bitch. 19% is the bare minimum she will allow without fighting you.

    As Mark would say, don't let striving for perfect get in the way of being Primal.
    Yes, and 80% primal is good enough. You seem to have most of the principles dialled in, except for allowing yourself the freedom to relax. Enjoy the good life you have.

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    Jeri's Avatar
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    Chanda here is the link http://www.marksdailyapple.com/forum/group157.html Hope this helps you

  9. #9
    s-piper's Avatar
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    Well I do think I know why you're failing. Here's the problems...
    1. You're striving for perfection. I understand. You're a successful woman with an advanced professional degree so you're probably a life-long overacheiver. I can relate. There's nothing wrong with having goals, but when it comes to fitness setting the bar too high is setting yourself up for discouragment and ensuing failure.

    2. Your goal weight number is reasonable, but your % body fat goal is rather lofty. 15% is barely above essential fat for a woman. I agree that your percent bodyfat may not be 19%, but if it is that's definitely healthy.
    You also sound like you may be fighting your body type a bit. You said you lost what little definition you had with your baby weight. Does that mean you were always straight and, for lack of a better word, boyish in shape? If so then you may not be able to give yourself much more of a waist no matter how much weight you lose, because that's determined by underlying bone structure as much as it is fat deposition. A good example, I have a good 70lbs to lose before I'd be considered at a healthy weight, but even right now I'm somewhat hourglass shaped because I have a broad pelvis.
    There is an extent to which you have to accept your body for how it is, because some aspects are out of your control.

    3. Learning to manage stress without the instant pick me up, but inevitable crash of addictive high sugar and starch foods. I have problems with this too. And, unfortunately, can't offer a good solution because I haven't conqured this myself, but I'm trying to just learn new coping skills.

    4. Patience. This is, I believe, the hardest part of weightloss. For some people weighing themselves less often helps. I found that focusing on the outside the scale benefits helps some, and just trying to get your mind on something else when you're discouraged.

    When it comes to the actual lifestyle aspects like diet, exercise and sleep you sound like you're doing well. I think it's the mental aspect that is tripping you up, so try working on not applying perfectionistic tendancies to this aspect of your life. I'm sure that, as a lawyer, they serve you well professionally, but in when it comes your day to day life perfection is just not realistic.
    Last edited by s-piper; 03-31-2013 at 03:23 PM.

  10. #10
    PseudoDiva's Avatar
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    I feel your pain! It sounds like you are well on your way, so just hang in there. I am in the same boat. I'll start a new thread and introduce myself properly, but I just wanted to say I know how you feel, and let's encourage each other!

    Love, a 32 year old mommy of two

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