Sex and Primal relationships page

[Susie]

I have recently been thinking over sex in the context of primitive survival. A female, especially with a child, without a male protector, would not survive. Females would have needed to make sure that they had a partner who was going to stick around before mating. Fathers and uncles and brothers would know this and beat to a pulp anyone who tried to do otherwise. So why then, does it seem that so many males want to spread their seed far and wide? Why is it so hard to find a guy who will not require sex in order to decide if he wants a realtionship?

[RichMahogany]

I have recently been thinking over sex in the context of primitive survival. A female, especially with a child, without a male protector, would not survive. Females would have needed to make sure that they had a partner who was going to stick around before mating. Fathers and uncles and brothers would know this and beat to a pulp anyone who tried to do otherwise. So why then, does it seem that so many males want to spread their seed far and wide? Why is it so hard to find a guy who will not require sex in order to decide if he wants a realtionship?

I think you have some misconceptions about tribal life, and are drawing some unfounded conclusions.

[Susie]

I'd be interested in your conceptions.

[Richard Seekins]

I don't see the point in comparing sex now to back then.

I do feel your assuming way too much too.

How do you define relationship?

[Reindeer]

Well, for one thing tribal life is a security system in itself. You don't 'move away' from parents, grandparents or siblings in the same way that people do today. Food would be shared between family, as not everybody would be able to hunt. If you could only rely on the father of your children, then widowed women would also be in severe danger, which would be a very bad thing considering the mortality rate at the time.

You'd have SEVERAL male protectors - plus several female protectors. That's the point of tribal living, you'll always have someone to watch your back. You contribute with what you can, they do the same, and it all sums up to a situation that would be relatively secure compared to the alternative.

Besides, this assumes that all tribal societies even live in life-long couples. That isn't the case. I once read about a tribe in Asia where the female is expected to have sex with other men beside her husband. According to belief, once she gets pregnant, the fetus need to be 'reinforced' with the sperm of other men, so that, in a sense, all the men who had sex with her is the fathers of the child. Therefore all the men of the tribe is expected to look after all the children, since they are essentially their own. There are many such instances and they don't always work the same way. Life-long monogamy is really a far-fetched thing in a world with so many variables.

[Susie]

I was just attempting to make sense of the phenomenon I described. Promiscuity does not seem to promote survival to me, but who knows? I don't recall that far back. I am not assuming anything, just exploring.

I guess I would think a relationship would be more than just having a good time, that there would be some commitment and responsibility along with it.

[RichMahogany]

I'd be interested in your conceptions.

That primitive people lived in social structures known as tribes, and tended to adhere to the rules and customs of their respective tribes with regard to such matters. And that males have very little investment in "spreading their seed," and are therefore likely to be built by natural selection with a strong desire for doing so, as their genes have much to gain from the practice.

[Richard Seekins]

I guess I would think a relationship would be more than just having a good time, that there would be some commitment and responsibility along with it.

I feel the same. But sex is natural for a healthy relationship.

[geostump]

My thought on this is that if you're going to blame the male of the species, you ought to put blame on the female as well. It does take two and with the advancements of modern science, somebody better carry protection. If not, you deserve what happens.

A good percentage of my friends growing up came from divorced/single mother households. When these people grew up and had kids, most of them became divorced/single parents. The few that aren't divorced/single parents, it seemed that their parents had successful second or third marriages and they learned from those examples. My mother became a widow at age 51, when I was 10 and my husband's mother has been married and divorced thrice. We are the rare example of a couple that has been together over 16 years and one of us came from a divorced home. He was able to see a successful marriage through his grandparents. I'm basically saying, you're going to do as you were taught in your formative years.

[Susie]

Agreed. I guess it's a chicken or the egg question.