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  1. #31
    Derpamix's Avatar
    Derpamix is offline Senior Member
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    I don't know why people over think these things. Also, evaluating each person you date and judging whether you want to build a long term relationship including children with them is really weird. If you're not putting out unless they tell you they're going to commit to you forever, that's just being creepy, and flags off signs of entrapment and craziness.

    Sex is fun, that's all. Do it with who you have a compatibility with, odds are unless they're pushing to do you on the first date(don't do this) and you've had fun, something promising might happen.

    And I think you have a real warped view of paleolithic mating, because it's not like that.
    nihil

  2. #32
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    Thanks for all the ideas and opinions. This is not about me. I am married and I do not have a problem with sex, nor do I believe it is only about procreation. Sex is definitely fun and important to a relationship and I did not say anything about a life-long commitment. I have seen several young ladies' lives turned upside down because of getting pregnant and the guy wants nothing to do with it. I, myself, have gotten pregnant even when using birth control due to equipment failure. A good friend, who is a virgin, is what prompted my rant. She had been seeing a guy for two weeks and was not ready for sex, though she really liked the guy and wanted to continue seeing him. He would not continue without sex. The first time is especially important. I would think a guy could understand that.

  3. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by Susie View Post
    Thanks for all the ideas and opinions. This is not about me. I am married and I do not have a problem with sex, nor do I believe it is only about procreation. Sex is definitely fun and important to a relationship and I did not say anything about a life-long commitment. I have seen several young ladies' lives turned upside down because of getting pregnant and the guy wants nothing to do with it. I, myself, have gotten pregnant even when using birth control due to equipment failure. A good friend, who is a virgin, is what prompted my rant. She had been seeing a guy for two weeks and was not ready for sex, though she really liked the guy and wanted to continue seeing him. He would not continue without sex. The first time is especially important. I would think a guy could understand that.
    Sounds like he did understand that..

  4. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by slowcooker View Post
    Sounds like he did understand that..
    i was thinking the same thing
    I have a lot of hard miles on my body from before I realized I'm not 100% invulnerable. Now I just think I'm 75% invulnerable. -Mr. Anthony

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  5. #35
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    I have no respect for men who won't take responsibility for their actions, and creations, assuming they took all the proper precautions themselves and put the condom on themselves.

    As for the virgin thing, I think too much importance is placed on "the first time". I, for example, wish I wore a condom of barbed wire for the first time I had sex considering everything that happened.

    I don't know anyone who has commit to the person they lost their virginity to, I think it's a romanticism view that's been long lost, unfortunately.

    In the end, it's her choice, and if the guy is pushing that hard after only 2 weeks, he probably is only after one thing and isn't worth the time. So, to that, I understand where you're coming from.
    nihil

  6. #36
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    Quote Originally Posted by not on the rug View Post
    i was thinking the same thing
    Motion carried.

    Had he pushed her and pressured her, than I'd agree with the negative view painted of him. But, in this context? Completely unfair. He wanted to have sex, she wasn't ready. Maybe he didn't see much of a future with her. Maybe he just didn't want to wait. Either way, he knew they were on separate pages and acted like a man, imo.

    Let's say it was the former. Maybe he wasn't interested in anything serious with her or just didn't see much of a future with her. You said she really liked him. Would he have been a better guy to have put on a ruse and kept dating her. Taken her virginity. Have sex til he was bored and then split?

    I think what this guy did WAS the admirable thing to do.

  7. #37
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    just like women can get pregnant with a diaphragm, or even on the pill, condoms can break. how is that "just" the guy's fault? as far as i'm concerned, condoms are pretty good at preventing std's, but not so great at not making babies. i have always felt it's far more incumbent upon the woman to be fastidious in her choice and execution of b/c so she's not left with an unwanted pregnancy.

    the whole "golden vagina" thinking of sex as currency makes me nuts. that "allowing" a guy to have sex with you means you're speshul is just juvenile. most women outside of their teens are sexually active.

    also, if you're out of high school and a guy is "pushing" for sex? you're both doing it wrong.
    As I ate the oysters with their strong taste of the sea and their faint metallic taste that the cold white wine washed away, leaving only the sea taste and the succulent texture, and as I drank their cold liquid from each shell and washed it down with the crisp taste of the wine, I lost the empty feeling and began to be happy and to make plans.

    Ernest Hemingway

  8. #38
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    Exactly, thanks for duplicating.

  9. #39
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    Agreed.

  10. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by noodletoy View Post
    just like women can get pregnant with a diaphragm, or even on the pill, condoms can break. how is that "just" the guy's fault? as far as i'm concerned, condoms are pretty good at preventing std's, but not so great at not making babies. i have always felt it's far more incumbent upon the woman to be fastidious in her choice and execution of b/c so she's not left with an unwanted pregnancy.

    the whole "golden vagina" thinking of sex as currency makes me nuts. that "allowing" a guy to have sex with you means you're speshul is just juvenile. most women outside of their teens are sexually active.

    also, if you're out of high school and a guy is "pushing" for sex? you're both doing it wrong.
    Agree with the golden vagina part, and never said it was just the guys fault. But, if it happens, and the person abandons their responsibility, they're the worst kind of trash imaginable.

    You can pull out, and if you're that afraid of having a kid, practice celibacy, because you're actively making a choice to "risk" it every time.
    nihil

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