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Thread: This is not a lobe song page 74

  1. #731
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    Quote Originally Posted by zoebird View Post
    I found that really backing off on exercise -- doing a lot of gentle stuff -- was the way to go.

    Also, yoga teachers work a lot like shift workers -- which means that our sleeping and eating rhythms are off -- which means high cortisol. it's really helpful to find a balance that works for you.
    You know, I actually read that Yoga increases oestrogen! I can't remember where... might have been Ray Peat. At any rate, most of my exercise is gentle, and I rarely push myself. I'm thinking that maybe I need to....
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  2. #732
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    Entry Thirteen


    I haven't written in a few days cos' a lot has been going on. Poland was emotional for me, for two reasons: health, and family.

    I've posted the stuff about being diagnosed with Oestrogen dominance. Ultimately it's very, very positive. I'm so relived that I can now work towards something, and that I can channel positive thoughts into myself with a focused goal.

    I also realise I needed a diagnoses to stop hating and blaming myself for crashing physically, emotionally and mentally. I bet a bit of self compassion will actually help my energy a lot. Hatred is exhausting.

    Family life was tough. Poland evokes a deep response in me because I spent a lot of my life here, with my grandparents. My grandfather died three years ago, and on this trip I really felt his absence. I miss him so much. Everything fell apart when he died. My grandmother was always reclusive, but now she never leaves the apartment and is a full blown alcoholic, and each time I return she is a little worse.

    It was hard to see her like that, and she's killing my mother: constantly guilt tripping her, forcing her to travel over and back once a month and spend a week with her. My mum is consulting with two neo-surgens today, about the tumour on her spine.

    Of course, I turned to food. I didn't binge, but I was definitely comfort eating, and by the end of the four days had started to treat food like a weapon again. I actually was about to plan a binge: I was in the supermarket and picked up some binge food, rationalising that I would eat it gradually, but then I realised what I was doing and I put it down.

    I also found myself drinking a lot more than usual ("a lot" for me is that I drank 1-3 glasses of wine three days in a row!)

    I went off the deep end with body hate, and convinced myself that I'd gained about 6lbs. Came back and my measurements were the exact same.

    Makes me realise how tenacious recovery is, and how easy to relapse. One day I hope I'll be able to go through stress without needing food as a crutch.

    Summary of the last week:

    Sleep:
    was pretty good.

    Food / Hunger / Cravings:
    I felt so fat and bloated after Poland that I did a very low calorie day yesterday. First time I've done that in about 3 months. I ate three bananas and an orange. I was going to leave it at that, but then I went for wine (again!) with a friend, and she wanted to get dinner, so I ordered soup and... bread!!! I was actually glad I could eat it without guilt.

    Fitness:
    Didn't do anything in Poland. Taught a three hour yoga workshop yesterday, and cycled for about 40 mins.

    Energy and mood:
    Was really tired in Poland and was even napping every day.

    Supps:
    I'm going to start taking them religiously to help with progesterone. Zinc, Mg, B6, and keep taking the milk thistle.

    Final thoughts:
    Taking a break from the journal made me realise the extent that it's been another limb in my recovery. It's so amazing to have a framework to express thoughts and get feedback. Once again, thank you all - so much - for your support and love.




    In other news: I got new shoes

    Last edited by YogaBare; 05-13-2013 at 03:41 AM.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  3. #733
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    Hey YB--glad that you got a diagnosis. Now you can focus on getting better!

  4. #734
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    Quote Originally Posted by serenity View Post
    Hey YB--glad that you got a diagnosis. Now you can focus on getting better!
    Thanks Serenity Yeah, it's definitely a positive thing. I'm a bit bowled over by how I dicked around for years with symptoms, and then all I needed was a full hormone panel and a visit to an endo.. turned out it's text book! It's about the journey though, right?

    Any success on your weight loss yet?
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  5. #735
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    I'm sorry about all the family troubles. It's difficult to see a family member suffer by creating hardships both for herself and others by extension. But yes, such good news on the diagnosis and not blaming yourself unnecessarily anymore. And even better news about the self awareness in terms of bingeing / self-medicating with crap food. Seems like you've broken a cycle.

    Cute shoes! I also just got (well, borrowed) silver shoes - for my step sis's wedding. But they are very tall. And also shiny. Most important that they're shiny.

    Is that a vagina?

  6. #736
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    Quote Originally Posted by YogaBare View Post
    Thanks Serenity Yeah, it's definitely a positive thing. I'm a bit bowled over by how I dicked around for years with symptoms, and then all I needed was a full hormone panel and a visit to an endo.. turned out it's text book! It's about the journey though, right?

    Any success on your weight loss yet?
    It is all about the journey. Plus, at least you figured it out. I'm sure a lot of people these days have health problems but never figure it out (or care to). I feel like I should try harder to see if I have underlying problems too (I probably do), but half the time, I feel like a hypochondriac, and the other half of the time, I just really hate doctors. I've had such bad experiences with them. Not saying that there aren't good ones out there. I just don't know how I'm supposed to find a good one.

    Anyhow, weight loss and I don't belong in the same sentence right now--haha! But hopefully this will change soon. I'm stopping the eating a ton thing as of today and jumping on the JUDDD bandwagon. I'm kind of disappointed at myself for doing this, but I sort of decided to do it a few weeks ago. Was going to wait till next week to start, but late last week, I decided that I couldn't wait anymore. I'm just really scared that I'll continue to gain 1-2 pounds every few months until I'm like 20 or 30 pounds heavier. That would be really bad.

  7. #737
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    Quote Originally Posted by ombat View Post
    I'm sorry about all the family troubles. It's difficult to see a family member suffer by creating hardships both for herself and others by extension. But yes, such good news on the diagnosis and not blaming yourself unnecessarily anymore. And even better news about the self awareness in terms of bingeing / self-medicating with crap food. Seems like you've broken a cycle.

    Cute shoes! I also just got (well, borrowed) silver shoes - for my step sis's wedding. But they are very tall. And also shiny. Most important that they're shiny.
    Thanks hon <3 Isn't it strange how the journey happens so incrementally? First dealing with the behaviour, then getting to deeper layers.

    And yeah - anything silver works for me (the shoes are actually gold, but howandever).

    Is that a vagina?
    WHAT?! Go and wash your mouth with soap! Actually, when I first saw it I was really moved. There's something beautiful about the design. But now that you mention is...
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  8. #738
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    Quote Originally Posted by serenity View Post
    It is all about the journey. Plus, at least you figured it out. I'm sure a lot of people these days have health problems but never figure it out (or care to). I feel like I should try harder to see if I have underlying problems too (I probably do), but half the time, I feel like a hypochondriac, and the other half of the time, I just really hate doctors. I've had such bad experiences with them. Not saying that there aren't good ones out there. I just don't know how I'm supposed to find a good one.

    Anyhow, weight loss and I don't belong in the same sentence right now--haha! But hopefully this will change soon. I'm stopping the eating a ton thing as of today and jumping on the JUDDD bandwagon. I'm kind of disappointed at myself for doing this, but I sort of decided to do it a few weeks ago. Was going to wait till next week to start, but late last week, I decided that I couldn't wait anymore. I'm just really scared that I'll continue to gain 1-2 pounds every few months until I'm like 20 or 30 pounds heavier. That would be really bad.
    Aw man, I totally hear you. I felt like a hypochondriac too. We're not allowed to feel remotely bad, remember? We're either DYING, or we're well. There's no middle ground in medicine, and doctors don't care if you have symptoms, and they don't work towards preventing illness. Anyway, I really recommend getting blood work done. Then it doesn't really matter how bad your doc is, you know? The bloods don't lie. But if you did get them done, I'd go to see an endo. What symptoms do you have?

    I understand that you want to try JUDD. It's shit feeling fat. Have you considered cycling calories? It's an amazing way to lose weight, and I don't think it's as extreme as JUDD... I don't know if you ever had a problem with binging, but JUDD would be a bad idea for me.
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  9. #739
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    Entry Fourteen


    I'm feel really good being back in London. The social calendar is full, I'm creatively inspired, I'm not defective or broken in any way, and my mum's tumour was found to be benign. Things are looking up

    Sleep:
    I was a bit pissed last night, so didn't go to sleep til 1.30ish. Then woke at... 5.30am? The four hour sleep cycle!

    Food / Hunger / Cravings:
    Wasn't very hungry today. Actually had that feeling when it's nice to fast? Hardly ever get that.

    Breakfast: 7am - 3 fried eggs
    Lunch: 3pm - 400gs pineapple, small rice pudding, prunes.
    Snack / Dinner: 5pm: banana, 400gs pineapple, small rice pudding.

    Drinks: two coffees, pep tea w/sugar and gelatine.

    Cravings: None, per say, but when I did my grocery shopping I bought prunes and rice pudding, which I never eat. Must have had a subconscious hankering for them.

    Think I'll make Thai green curry tomorrow.... mmmm

    Supps:
    Zinc x 2, Mg-B6 x 2, Vit D x 2, milk thistle.

    Fitness:
    90 minute partner yoga.
    Cycled for about 40 mins.

    Energy and mood:
    Felt a bit tired this morning, but pushed through and actually felt great and happy all day

    Final thoughts:
    Went for acupuncture today. Told the woman that I'm infertile, and she put about twenty needles in my belly.! I've had acupuncture loads of times, and often does nothing for me. But this time I felt something. A bubbling, then rush of joy. It was cool. I guess that means they hit the points that needed to be hit!

    Do I have the energy to watch GOT before bed? (Does the Pope shit in the woods?)
    "I think the basic anti-aging diet is also the best diet for prevention and treatment of diabetes, scleroderma, and the various "connective tissue diseases." This would emphasize high protein, low unsaturated fats, low iron, and high antioxidant consumption, with a moderate or low starch consumption.

    In practice, this means that a major part of the diet should be milk, cheese, eggs, shellfish, fruits and coconut oil, with vitamin E and salt as the safest supplements."

    - Ray Peat

  10. #740
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    I'm so glad you are feeling good about your diagnosis and especially about your mom's. That is all wonderful news!

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