11:45pm - 7:00am. Woke up at 1:15 needing to pee. I was sweating and actually needed to take off one of my jumpers. Woke again at 6am, but fell back asleep, and woke at 7am. So pretty good sleep all-in-all!
I realised that part of my problem with sleep is that my alcoholic flat mate keeps waking me by knocking stuff over / snoring / slamming around in his bed. I feel bad for him... the amount he drinks shocks me. But I hate wearing ear plugs!!
Upon waking: 36.7C! Really good. I actually didn't take it much today but feel like it's been high.
Warning: TMI ahead!!
Had the runs today, and I've been really bloated. I wonder if it's from all the coconut oil? I've been eating a lot for the last two days.
Energy and Mood:
Not as tired as the last two days, but waves of tiredness do come over me, and I really could sleep. I'm working really hard on a project though, so my focus and mood are pretty good.
Skin: Starting to get a bit dry on the nose. My lips chapped and peeled today.
Hair: Out of nowhere, it suddenly looks amazing!
Fat: Ugh. I've put on half an inch on my hips. I'm hoping this is just bloat cos' if I'm gaining on this amount of food I'm going to be devastated that the EMTWL experiment was futile. At the same time, I can't bear the thought of cutting again. I just don't have the energy anymore...
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Breakfast: 7am: Banana, yogurt, spoon coconut oil.
Snack: 11.30am, spoon coconut oil.
Lunch: 1.30pm: ground beef in tomato sauce, rice.
Dinner: 5pm: Rice, coconut milk.
My appetite is definitely smaller because of eating more frequently. I haven't had a "big meal" in ages...
Had two interesting insights tonight:
1) Often when I go out socialising - particularly if I drink red wine - I get hot flushes. A wave of burning heat will surge through me, rise to my head and erupt in angry red welts across my face. They keep coming, and my face gets swollen, red, and my whole body feels like it's on fire. I strip down to my t-shirt, but it never helps me cool down. of It's really uncomfortable, and stressful.
I wasn't drinking tonight, but I was struck by a flush. Completely counter intuitively, I did the opposite to what I normally do: I put on more clothes. Instead of feeling "hot", I started to feel "warm". And weirdly, the flush stopped! I didn't get another one. Still working on a theory for this...
2) Since I got back to London, I've noticed that I feel different. I feel detached from everything around me. And yet, because I feel detached, it's easier for me to be warm to the people I meet. I give people in shops glowing smiles and they beam back at me. I enjoy it, but the enjoyment is an afterthought.
Tonight I felt that exact same detachment in a social situation. Normally I get anxious when I socialise in large groups, or with people I don't know that well (the hot flushes are linked), but tonight I felt completely removed, and yet able to enjoy myself. It's a really strange feeling not to be so emotionally invested.
It seems like something shifted in me on a psychological level during the EMTWL experiment.